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StoneSoup

"the Onion" Nails It Again

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America on its death bed: http://www.theonion.com/article/experts-say-best-option-now-keeping-nation-comfort-50617

 

WASHINGTON—Saying there were no other options remaining and that continued intervention would only prolong the nation’s suffering, experts concluded Tuesday that the best course of action is to keep the United States as comfortable as possible until the end.

 

According to those familiar with its condition, the country’s long, painful decline over the past several decades has made it clear that the most compassionate choice at this juncture is to do whatever is possible to ensure America is at ease during its last moments.

 

“We need to accept the fact that the U.S. doesn’t have long—simply helping it pass that time in comfort is the humane thing to do,†said economist Danielle Martin, speaking on behalf of a large group of experts ranging from sociologists and historians to lawmakers and environmentalists, all of whom confirmed they had “done everything [they] could.†“Attempting to stabilize the country in its current enfeebled state would not only be extremely expensive, but it would also cause unnecessary agony as it enters this final stage. With how hard the nation is struggling to perform even basic functions, letting it meet its end naturally is the merciful decision here."

 

SS

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If only Thailand had an English-language parody newspaper! Other than the Bangkok Post, I mean.

 

 

(Actually, I'm a loyal fan of the Post and Nation, they are a weird mix but it's just what I need when my brain has been reduced to smoldering rubble after another night out: arriving home to my hotel room, finding the post on the doorknob, so convenient, just leave it by the bedside for the right moment to start my bleery-eyed systematic read-through.)

 

(Actually, I'm not just a loyal fan - I've written on the op-ed page ages ago, and those who know my political views on Thailand will be surprised to know that my piece was an anti-Thaksin bit...)

 

Now, back to the news - back to the Onion!

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Love those Ladyboy rufies, I keep planning on shaving my self naked and writing all over my body in black marker pen with rude Chinese words,

 

But always forget too!

 

I need to plan it better next time I spike myself, maybe I should leave around note pads with suggestions?

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