teddy

The tits that is I should add. I completely forget what the faces looked like.

When you travelled to Syria and if you went through Damascus airport did you ever pay for the VIP transit through the airport? Basically you arrived and were met by a tasty Syrian lady in business type attire. A black skirt, a white blouse and a black blazer. They took you to a room, made you coffee and then took your passport and did the formalities of the visa stamping. I presume that you got one each attending to you as when I used them that was the deal. It was on my second trip that curiosity got the best of me and I asked would they like to join us at our hotel which was the Four Seasons. Sure enough they turned up and had dinner with us. One of them had massive tits and I can still picture them now.

You sure she isn't Jordanian? Check her passport. In my experience Lebanese are fat, lazy and ugly. Maybe she is, good nookie can blind a man.

The Aussies are fucked. Haddin has slowed down and no longer has that spring which makes him catch the impossible, he also averages around 15 in his last 10 tests. Watson is like a carthorse that you just can't motivate to get a move on to the knackers yard. Johnson just can't work out how to bowl if he isn't on his favourite pitch. Then there's the rest of them. The only player I fear is Starc but he is fucked and with it so is the Aussies chances. They need to cast away their old boys and rebuild but they have left it far too late so will have to die a slow painful death with the likes of Siddle or Cummings coming in. Ha ha.

That's not a girl so it equally shows how people get fooled into diddling ladyboys. Be careful out there.

Love it when you talk dirty honey

You couldn't climb Ben's cock never mind Ben Nevis.

You

Under the Skin is excellent. A very sexy Alien walks around Scotland killing jocks. What's not to like.

I downloaded it.

Watched Starred Up a few nights ago and still thinking about it. 10/10. Brilliant movie and more so when you look listen to the guy who wrote the screenplay. http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/starred-up-how-exprison-therapist-jonathan-asser-turned-his-experiences-in-the-clink-into-stunning-drama-9176741.html

Just watched Starred Up. A british film about a young offender who graduates to grown up jail and meets his dad there. Brilliant.

I liked that film but disliked it also. Brilliant thought provoking film making but there was something annoying about it.

Is that your uncle Kev who collects Marvel comics?

You're thinking of Biggus Dickus. Platitudinous Ponderous was a Senator.

A man and his wife go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise'. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly, and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. “Good grief, did you see that?†she asks her husband. He hadn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. “Please sir,†says the waiter, “what you order?†The man replies, “Chicken Surpriseâ€. “Ah! So sorryâ€, says the waiter, " I bring you Peeking Duck!"

â žâ “â ‘â €â â ¥â ⠉⠓⠀â â ⠎⠞⠑⠗⠀⠊⠎⠀â ⠀⠉⠥â â ž

No

⠽⠕⠥ â â —â ‘ ⠺⠑⠇⠉⠕â â ‘

⠺⠑⠞ â â â Šâ â ž

I watched the Counselor on a plane and had to keep looking around at the start in the munching scene thinking that fellow passengers would think I was watching a porno. After watching I had to think long and hard whether I should give it a 0/10 or a 10/10. I reckon it gets top marks. Unconventional film but it makes you think and had some amazing dialogue. The guy describing Diaz fucking his car windscreen and comparing her pussy to a catfish's mouth moving up the glass of a fish tank was classic.

I just explained Google images to my mum. 'Pick anything to search for', I said. She replied 'What about a nice cream pie?'. 'Except that.' I said.

What do men and women have in common? Both need tissues after watching a good movie.

Chinese pal of mine told me he had opened a crows shop. I said surely you mean a clothes shop. He said no.... come on in and have rook