BelgianBoy

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said " I should be the Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said " We should be the Boss as we carry the brain about and get him where he wants to go." The hands said " We should be the Boss because we do all the work andearn all the money." And so on it went on and on with the heart and the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided thatthe asshole should be the Boss. So the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit. Moral of the story : You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do that!

Chinese jokes..... Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too." A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too." Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme(Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.! Sincerely, The Management

Young girl buys a vibrator and at home inserts the battery..... "No need to start trembling" she says, "its my first time as well"...... BB

Guy goes to a toyshop to buy a doll for his little girl.... "Whats the price of those Barbies in the shop ?" "Which one asks the saleswomen ?" "We have Fitness Barbie for 19.99 Also Volleyball Barbie for 19.99 Or Shopping Barbie for 19.99 Even Disco Barbie for 19.99 And we have Working Barbie for 19.99 And Divorced Barbie for 299.99" "Why is the last one so expensive compared to all the others ???" "Cos divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, his boat, his car, his furniture, and his best friend...." BB

Secret Dietary Tips Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active. The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital. "Well," answered the man, "I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically." The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock. The clerk then asks the man, "do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?" The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, "what is the difference?" The clerk responds, "Well when it's sliced, it gets harder faster." To which the man responded, "How come everyone knew about this but me?" BB

Maybe you should show more consideration for TB and post jokes one by one giving him the chance to react to each of them ? :thumbup: I am only suggesting here BB

How to protect your keyboard from massive semen invasion ?????? :D :D BB redirected the witness

Big Bertha, that WWII This one is Fat Jenna BB

"never look at FJ's avatar to judge the poster, meeting him sober is actually worse" proverb by BB 11/9/04

Amen..... he will live in our memories.... Hopefully if you obtain his diaries, you could share some last memories with the brethen here ? BB

Nope, that pic is actually Rusty on a good day