Patpong Souls

[jagoturner]

This girl... I can?t remember her name which is a shame because I should. But then, to be honest, I can?t even remember her telling me her name. We met under loud circumstances... Very loud. It was in a bar called Firecats, an upstairs bar on Patpong which featured such acts as pussy eat banana, pussy drink coca cola, and pussy smoke cigarette. I often wonder whose brainchild these feats were. ?Yeah... We got all this pussy and it?s just standing there. Can?t we get it to do something clever ?? The bar also featured, if memory serves me right, a couple who engaged in an act of connubial bliss while being suspended from the ceiling on a motorbike... But I might have dreamt that. Anyway... The point was that the bar was loud because all this entertainment was played out to the tunes of The Eagles, Guns and Roses, Aerosmith, Europe and other notably loud artistes. It didn?t seem to matter what bar you went into on Patpong, The Final Countdown would always be a cue for a stage to fill with naked women dripping hot wax from burning candles on specific areas of their flesh which left the bars smelling in a way curiously reminiscent of a cathedral after mass, and The Scorpions singing The Wind of Change always seemed to be a cue for a bit of luminescent body painting (although this might sometimes carry on into Hotel California). Sorry... Where was I... Oh yeah... This girl... The time I first met her... It was loud... And if she did tell me her name maybe I didn?t hear it... And that?s my excuse so I?m sticking to it.

 

When we first met I was on a...well lets call it a tour of drinking establishments with some gentlemen I had encountered earlier in the day at the Hello Bar on Khao San Road. We told a few travellers tales and shared a few large bottles of Singha. We had no common interests. We weren?t really friends nor were we likely to become friends but then over drinks it?s remarkable how we can act as friends with the most complete strangers. One of our number had lost his mind on some island and had managed to overshoot his return tickets and return visa and was in the process of wiring everyone he knew in the world for money. Another was involved in the dubious business of smuggling ecstasy tabs from Hong Kong to Koh Pang Ngan to sell at extortionate rates to full moon revellers who always had more money than they pretended. I was the one who spoke Thai. That was my entire personality and raison d?etre accounted for.

 

Each of my companions was familiar with Patpong but each came at the place with his own distinct philosophy. None were looking for a hooker. None were the type to pay for sex (or at least to admit to paying for sex). In a sense they were each stereotypical backpacker types except for the drug dealer who was a few years older than me. He was very into being perceived as cool and laid back and one trick ahead of the rest. When we went into Firecats he ordered a glass of water and roamed around with the glass as if it were a gin and tonic and never got hit to pay for a real drink. This didn?t seem particularly cool or laid back to me but it did to him. The rest sat back and enjoyed themselves and one even bought a drink for the woman who sat with him.

 

I saw her as soon as we walked in and she smiled at me. She wore a charcoal black matching skirt and jacket. She looked together and refined. A world away from the naked girls running around and yelling at each other with whisky and slimming pill fuelled carelessness. It wasn?t that she was stunningly pretty. Just that she was pleasantly incongruous and, elegant. Yes... Elegant... That?s the word.

 

I sat with my companions for a while but as women arrived to sit with each of them our two tables became a bit cramped and so I moved away and let this girl talk draw me away to another part of the bar. It was dark where we were. She talked about the women on the stage. She told me which girls were good girls. She didn?t tell me which girls weren?t. She was from Laos and she?d worked in bars in Nong Khai and Korat but was new to the wonders of Patpong. We, farang, were a bit of a mystery to her. The other girls said we were different... That with farang you had to bullshit more. Was this true ?

 

I said it was, probably, and pointed out that none of the guys I had come into the bar with would ever, in a million years, admit to paying a woman for sex back home. She laughed and thought this was funny. All men went to bars... All men paid for sex... That was one of the things men did. Unless they were Buddha?s.

 

I asked her if she wanted a drink. She said it was okay... She wasn?t working. ?You?re not working. Then what are you doing here ??

 

?I just came to see my friends.?

 

?But you normally work here.?

 

?Yes.?

 

She held my hand and it was pleasant to have her hold my hand. She asked me questions like she really wanted to know... I guess she did... She didn?t have that hard edge yet however many bars outside of Bangkok she might have worked in. She leaned her head against my shoulder but that was all. I told her I had a girlfriend. That I?d been married. She hadn?t married, this wasn?t her fate. Her sisters had married and none of them had married money so she had to work. No-one in her family cared what work she did as long as she sent them money. She was good at making money in one way or another. She had had men that she liked but they always turned out to be a drain on her. I nodded and said nothing.

 

It struck me how pleasant she was to be with. I didn?t love her. She didn?t love me. We weren?t trying to take each other to bed or the cleaners (or if she was trying to take me it was in a very slow unwinding subtle kind of way). Every once in a while the drug dealer would come over and say something sardonic about our companions lost in a salivating snog with a naked or near naked dancing girl. He looking for allies in the cool and laid back stakes and despite sitting with one of these women I didn?s seem lost like a kid in a candy store. My kid in a candy store days were long behind me. After an hour or so the lips were becoming disentangled and everyone was leaving. The guy with no money was in love and wanted to borrow some money for a barfine. This made everyone laughingly suggest that this attitude was probably why he had no money in the first place. I told her I had to go with my friends. She nodded and asked if I would come back and see her again sometime. I said I would.

 

The rest of the night passed predictably enough. No-one got lost to vampires but only the drug dealer and myself saw the night through to the dawn. We ended up sitting in the Nat talking about Chinese politics and Nietzsche over very weak coffee. A fairly typical way for a night to end.

 

******

 

A few nights later I was in Patpong again. I?d been sitting with a couple of friends at King?s Paradise on Patpong 2. One had gone off with a girl. The other had gone back to his hotel room. It was long after midnight but I wasn?t sure how long and I decided to take a walk. I didn?t know exactly where I wanted to go. For reasons I won?t go into here (this being a short piece) I was a bit confused about the direction my life was heading. Sometimes walking around and not thinking about much at all can help with such stuff. I was just crossing Patpong One when she called to me. I turned and saw her standing outside a bar as if waiting for someone. She asked me where I was going. I said I hadn?t the faintest idea. She suggested I hang out here a while until I decided. She didn?t know what she was doing either. Maybe we could not know what we were doing together. Seemed acceptable. It must have been late. The market was being disassembled by tireless wiry guys. Scaffolding was being carried and heaped on to waiting trucks with loud clangs.

 

I can?t remember if we talked about much in particular. We just sat on a stoop outside the bar as people came and went. Everyone seemed agreeable to me. I lost my punter farang-ness which is always pleasant. It feels a privilege somehow when nobody hustles you and instead talks naturally around you about their day of hustling. Some of her friends asked her if I was her boyfriend. ?No... A good friend. Not boyfriend.? One fairly drunk girl took this as good enough reason to make a bargirl pass at me. I said I was just sitting here watching the world go by. This girl stayed and chatted for a while never quite believing I was beyond the realms of being tonight?s trick. When she eventually drifted home or to a disco we laughed.

 

I didn?t want to go to any hotel rooms with any women. . We went and bought a large bottle of Klosters from the chemist and sat sharing it.

 

The rain came... Raindrops as large as childrens hands dashed against the road. It seemed provident that we were already under shelter. People came and stood with us on our stoop for a while. A few idle phrases passed. Then they were on their way. We talked for a moment about how much we both loved the Bangkok rain. Lightning flashed across the sky as the parade of painted ladies went by. Some girls I knew said ?Hi? before they went to King?s Lounge or other places to have some fun or find some man to pay them for his.

 

?You want to go to King?s Lounge?

 

?I?d sooner go to the dentist.?

 

?Yeah... I think so too. Too many people. Too much bullshit.?

 

The rain went from heavy to torrential and even under the awning we were getting splashed by it. We laughed.

 

After an hour or so the rain passed. We watched the same people who went into King?s Lounge leave King?s Lounge. I noted few if any left with men.

 

When the rain had finished too she turned to me and said ?Where are you going now ??

 

?I don?t know. I?ll probably grab a beer somewhere else. Watch the dawn.?

 

?Get a woman ??

 

?No.?

 

?No ? Really ?? She smiled as she spoke.

 

?No... Really.?

 

?I know a place we can go get a drink.?

 

?Where ??

 

?Malaysia.?

 

?Oh yes... The Malaysia knocking shop. Always on my list of favourite places to drink.?

 

We left and walked up to Silom Road and away from the opening of Patpong a little so the tuk tuks would be cheaper. She negotiated a cheaper price than I could have. She spoke Lao to the driver and I think that made a difference. Most of the tuk tuk drivers seem to come from the Northeast.

 

For some reason the Malaysia was closed. So we went to a bar in a smaller Soi Ngan Dupli hotel. We had a drink and she said ?Let?s take a room here.?

 

?What ??

 

?We can have a beer and watch a move on cable... I like staying with you. Good company.?

 

?Okay.?

 

?I like to watch farang movies. We pay half each.?

 

?No... It?s okay... I?ll pay. I don?t want to come across as cheap.?

 

?If you?re a friend we don?t have to think about that.?

 

So we took a room. It was pleasant. We watched a movie for a while. But the room got to me... It was a bedroom. I was with a woman and there were the usual sounds of giggling from other rooms... Maybe the odd bang... The odd sigh. Owing to the heat and my stickiness I took a shower. Owing to the heat and stickiness she did the same. Soon we were lying under covers. And not to kiss, just to see, would have seemed discourteous somehow. And it was nice to kiss. Chuck Norris seemed a bit off-putting so Chuck and the lights went off... And the towels came off. And there was nothing between the two of us but skin...

 

I don?t know if there was really any kind of passion on my part but I had a part to play and I played it. It seemed natural and right to play it. After all men and women can?t really just be friends can they ? There we were and afterwards everything seemed okay... Except my conscience.

 

We talked a little as if nothing had happened. And it wasn?t long before we were kissing again and I don?t know why I was so easy but I guess once you?re in a certain position with a naked woman it?s hard to find objections to letting nature take it?s course.

 

?How long do you think you?ll be staying in Bangkok ?? She said afterwards.

 

?Not too long. Another couple of months.?

 

?Why don?t you stay here ??

 

?Because I don?t work here. I work in England. When my money runs out I go back.?

 

?Your money doesn?t have to run out.?

 

?Yes it does.?

 

?I could help you stay here. I make good money. More than enough for us.?

 

Suddenly I felt this terrible sinking sensation and realised that I was about to do something really shitty. That I?d already done something really shitty. I went quiet and we watched the end of chuck Norris shooting people. I wasn?t thinking much about Chuck Norris shooting people. She looked happy. I guess it was because we?d talked... Maybe she wanted a certain kind of thing and I?d seemed to be it. I pretended to go to sleep and thought about my caddish behaviour.

 

As great as she was to be with but I didn?t want there to be an ?us?.

 

We talked a little when we got up... We talked but it wasn?t so easy now. She wasn?t the friend of the night before. She was now someone who had an idea about permanence.

 

I gave her some money and she looked at me as if I had just spat in her face.

 

?You don?t have to,? She said.

 

?I do have to.? I said. ?I don?t want you to think I?m a cheat or a liar.? Though I knew she didn?t yet think anything of the kind. ?It keeps everything clear.?

 

She smiled and waied me thanks and given what she had said the night before I knew this felt bad for her.

 

We were sitting having breakfast in the coffee shop. She looked out across the way and suddenly ducked theatrically behind a table.

 

?What?s the matter ?? I said.

 

?That man...? She said. ?I know him.?

 

?So what ??

 

?He?s a bad man. A very bad man. I don?t want to him to see me with you.?

 

I looked across and couldn?t see any man at all. Maybe my eyes weren?t that good. ?Well... I think he?s gone now.?

 

She got up and finished her breakfast as if nothing untoward had happened.

 

We took taxi?s and went our separate ways.

 

******

 

We saw each other a few more times. Never going to a hotel. We shared the odd drink. I always got the impression that she wanted more. But then I?m a vain egoistic bastard so I would.

 

Once, and it might have been when I was back with my girlfriend or at a time I was with a new girlfriend I was sitting outside at a table by a bar... I sat alone drinking a coffee. I felt her come and stand close by me as if waiting for me. I didn?t look her way. I didn?t say a thing... And then she just walked away.

 

I don?t know why I did this. I don?t know why I didn?t just turn around and ask her to join me for a drink. I don?t know why I was such a cunt. I guess I was just, at that moment, spoiled in the way Bangkok spoils us.

 

I went home and wrote in large capital letters as a kind of reminder to myself. ?I COULD NOT LIVE IN BANGKOK AND KEEP MY SOUL.?

 

When people ask me why I love Bangkok... Why I really love Bangkok... The truth is that I always think of sitting out there on Patpong as the street put its lights out... As the rain fell in huge drops and thunder hacked across the sky... I think of all the people that came and went as I shared a beer with a friend. I think of that... It?s an abiding memory in my mind and whenever I remember how it felt I wish I was in Bangkok right now. And yet the saddest thing is... I not only can?t remember her name. I can?t even remember her face.

 

 

 

[Pharcyde]

Good story,

when I read it I could smell the heat of bangkok.

[kamui]

I really like your wonderful, sad stories. They are very different from all other stories I read yet about the BG scene, because you depict the women not as superficial BGs, but as very special women with strong feelings and sensible souls.

 

Thanks

 

[spirit_of_town_hall]

A nice report, leaving me somewhat empty though.

 

STH

[Falang]

Very good story!

 

I have a special relation with a GTG in Krhungthep and look like your's but she is not a bar girl. I met her three years ago at the hotel where she is working and I met her every year when I go to LOS.

We are both the same age (she is 6 month younger than me but of coarse she look younger) she is very beautiful and every time we are going out together she is very elegant.

 

Before going out with her I was speaking to her everyday at the hotel and we find out that we were connecting very well together. Every morning I was making sure to go to the breakfast at the time she had her coffee break and she come to my table every morning so we can chat together and I think, sorry for that expression, she have balls because every time she had the walk of shame coming to the restaurant and sitting with me right in front of the restaurant staff.

 

One morning after many many chat I ask her if she wanted to go see a Thai movie with me since I was going lonely, she said to me that she had to think about that and that she will give me a answer at the end of her shift.

So I came back to the hotel at the end of her work and she announce to me that she wanted to go with me to the movie but she had to go change her cloth at her place and that she will meet me at the corner of street near the hotel in 2 hours.

 

After a shower, shaving and everything I went to the corner of the street and wait about 10 min. and then I saw her coming on the sidewalk, oh boy! it was in for a very big surprise seeing this very elegant women coming toward me wearing that very beautiful dress and she was looking that beautiful by the way the man on the sidewalk were turning their head at her. That night we went to the movie and we went eathing after that.

We took a taxi together to my hotel and I gave her money to pay the taxi to her home after arguing because she didn't want me to pay the taxi.

 

Since that time 3 years ago, when I am in Bangkok we are going out together and she bring me to all sort of place around town and we hit the Thai nightlife together. We both enjoy the time we have together, I really enjoy her happiness, the fact that we can talk about everything and every time we go out she is always dress on a very elegant way. We can sit and chat together for hours and it's never borring.

 

I can say that she is growing on me but at the same time I don't want to make any move that may put a end to that relation. I think she's happy we that at this moment, she never try, do, or say anything to let me think otherwise.

 

After reading your story, I think I will let thing go by and I will not make any move that may jeopardize our relation if she want more she will have to make the first move and if she make that move I think we will have a good chat about it because I know I can discuss everything with her.

 

The most memorable time I had in Khrungthep were with her not with a bar girl and I want to fully enjoy those special moment we have together.

 

Again thank you very much for your great story.

[Redbaron]

Beautiful story, I think there's something caught in my eye.

[jagoturner]

Pharcyde, Kamui, Spirit, Falang and Redbaron - Thanks for the kind words.

 

I never know how other people are going to perceive things... It's always encouraging when something you've written, even a slight story like this, comes across to anyone else at all.

 

In a board normally reserved for reports of what was happening in the bars of Bangkok last week it's encouraging that I can place a story about something that happened ten years ago and there are people who will still have some kind of interest in it.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Jo,

 

Good story. I always love your stuff. More, please!!

 

I'm off to Bangkok now in the morning. Staying at a friend's house tonight who lives just next to the airport. (Early morning start ya know.) Have my mountain bike along this trip, finally. It's becoming a pain in the ass really. It'll be left locked up in the village house. Bringing my new rod and reel and tackle and box this trip too! Goin' fishin' for real this time dammit!!

 

See ya Jo! Keep an eye on the section will ya? Keep these animals in line! :-)

 

And tell us some more stories please. You Brits have such a nice way with words. :-)

 

Later,

 

Mike/Cent

[Guest]

Very nicely done.

[BiaChang]

For both Mr Turner and the Central Scrutiniser:

 

Excellent tale, Mr T. No other writer can match your turn of words.

 

Cent, I will be in Thailand in a few days, and I might just have a few reports to post

 

I hope you both remember me from another forum and incarnation, because I remember both of you. 'nuff said.

 

Best wishes

BC