Guest Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 Sounds absolutely familiar to me. Those are the reasons why I never gave anything to my wife's family... even being under a lot of pressure from them, my wallet was in my pocket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 Hi, I am not surprise that your girl had that type of parents. Many and I mean many children got punished that way. My parents spanked me numerous times, the last one when I was 11 years old and it was my mother. It got bad because I fought back and my father was not around. I would call that as "beating", however, she took me to a doctor for the bruises and and we talked and I never got spanked again. :: The incident was more of my fault and her frustration in controlling me and, the worst part was, her neighbors thought that she could not controll me. :: My brother who is 6 yrs. younger than me, never got spanked by my mother, only got punished like mopping the floor for a whole weak or something like that and never for his behaviour, just for his bad grades, me it normally was for the fights around the neighborhood!!! I met many ex-BG, especially from Isaan who are afraid of their fathers and many got beaten. Because they were brought up to respect parents, they also fear them. Many Isaan and Northern women were brought up to believe that they owe everything to their parents and those parents sure feel that they own their daughters, mind you, ONLY daughters. No one should judge that these parents are bad, because if you really ask these parents, they are raising their children in the way they were raised. What needs to be done is to make sure that the history does not repeat. One observance was made by many of my friends and I, the women who fear their fathers normally end up with men much older than them, something to do with pshychology, I was told. I loved my father and never feared him, Hubby is 9 yrs. older :: I have a daughter who were spanked a few times and one thing I learned was not to punish her when I was angry. She was going to school at the time that the US school system also allowed children to be paddled also. IMO, the West got a little extream on not physically punishing the children. There is a thai proverb that says "If you love your cows/buffalows, tie them up. If you love your children punish/spank/teach them." Mind you, many men, especially Thai and Asian men also feel that they have to punish their wives also. Wasn't there a case, not long ago, about a Thai lecturer who beat his wife to death with a golf club and did not get prosecuted? He just did it to teach her a lesson!!! :: Enough said. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] A major cause for a fight with a TG. The respect they have for their parents can not be understood by us. One can hardly do anything about that. Look at this: a crusty bg, supported by 3 farangs, 80-110K Baht per month. When I asked her why does not she settle with one of them - the answer was: "My father have mia noi, she wants everything. If I don't give him money, he'll sell the house (built by her farang) and make many problems". That is where it gets hard. You don't get into it or, if you are already in, you want to be out...but how? The only way out is -forgetting her. [/color] Very wise advice. One thing many of the Western people cannot understand is that the Thai ways are difficult to understand. Mind you, I am ver partial to Westen men but many people with "Superior than thou" attitude really does bother me. We cannot judge other culture and beliefs by our standards. I can say that ones are not going to remove an Isaan or Northern women's love for their parents. I met one who hates her father (she was our housekeeper) and even today, she is in her late 50s, her father is older than dirt and still nags money from her and she still gives it to the worthless of a father of hers!! I would not get involved. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] Not near as bad, but I went on a trip with GF a few years ago. Her mother stayed with kids 13 and 7. We called the next day from Krabi andmom had gone home (dad was sick) and left kids to fare for them selves. No one involved thought this was a big deal (except me). [/color] Many places in Thailand, especially small villages, the villages take care of the children. I went to school with a girl whose parents died when she was only 10. she and her little brother stayed in their house with little pension from their policeman father. My father/mother and many of his friends who were mostly policemen looked after these 2 children. But they were mostly alone and both of them graduated from Universities and are now, married and have good careers. When I was little, growing in a small village, my brother and I could stay home by ourselves with neighbors watching us. The environment is not like in the States or Europe, in a small town, everyone knows each other. You would not believe how many spys my parents had all over the town :: Also, allow me to remind you that these small villages normally consist of houses that stay open most of the time. It is not like in the West that people closed their doors and never know or mind of what is going on. Many of the Westerners, including me, find the Thais very nosy, but the culture is just that they want to know everyone. A woman from a country in Latin America told me that where she grew up. the children are not only taken care by their parents, but by every one in the village!!! :bow: Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 I wouldnt call being smacked with some bruising a beating, being beaten would be taken by most people to mean broken bones, fractured ribs etc. When you were 11 did you start behaving yourself. STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 " Here is a photo that would get parents jailed in any western country. Kid on his way to school in a shipping channel in Cambodia last year! " bad indeed under the circumstances, but when when I was that age I would cosider that big fun. ( too dumb to know it was dangerous) Or as mounty python would say " what, you had a tub, all we had was the paddel" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALHOLK Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 what, you had a tub, all we had was the paddel You were lucky, we were evicted from our paddle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] When you were 11 did you start behaving yourself. [/color] Hell NO, just became very refine on my fightings, I fought with boys mostly. I am not still behaving myself, what do you expect??? :devil: Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 ..."Here is a photo that would get parents jailed in any western country. " Often, like in Issan, kids are not sent to school, during the seasonal times in the Cambo rice growing areas, but used to help plant and bring in the crops. So, maybe we should give the parents credit. They were being creative in devising transportation with their limited resources and making their child go to school...if in fact he was going to school and not to a street hustling job;-) Row, row, row your boat.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulc31 Posted March 11, 2003 Report Share Posted March 11, 2003 Hi khunsanuk, It happened to me Monday my girlfriend called she to was very upset, and in tears her little brother was staped in his side at his high school by some drug dealers :onfire: I guess it take all kinds of people to stab a teenager at a school :onfire: paulc31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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