jasmine Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] I don't quite get the sceptics who are so afraid that the wife will take all in case of a divorce. I've been through a divorce myself, and as long as both are honest persons whats the problem in setteling stuff properly and decent? Don't you trust your spouse? [/color] Is it why some of these don't have "spouses"? Trust is the major ingredient in a relationship for me. :: Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Hi, Do I trust my wife? Sure I do. Would I risk my entire future on her doing the right thing in case things went sour? No way. I think you need to look at each person's situation. For me buying a house would mean that I invest all our (well, mine) savings and we would be paying of the house for the next 20 or so years. In which time we would not be able to save (or at least not much). So, worst case scenario, after 15 years or so things go sour and we end up in a bad divorce. Wife takes the house, and I am left with nothing, no house, no savings, and getting close to retirement age. Not something I am willing to risk. If I could afford to write off a million Baht or so, things would obviously be different. But I can't, and they aren't. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 "Do I trust my wife? Sure I do. Would I risk my entire future on her doing the right thing in case things went sour? No way." You may not need to wait for things to go sour. It's not simply a matter of trusting only your wife, but also trusting that the members of her family won't have misleading or bad intentions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Moth Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 KS, Your position makes sense to me. As I recall, the day I got married, the woman I was marrying was quite in love with me and intending to spend the rest of her life with me. I also recall, as she was suing me for divorce, her saying, "I'll take you for everything you've got"!. Fortunately, I had a competent lawyer who protected my interests and she did not take me for everything. Today, we are friendly. However, in the heat of passion, when a relationship ends, I wouldn't want to be so vulnerable as to have a home that I paid for in her name alone. My best to those who never have things go sour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lopburi3 Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Trust is the major ingredient in a relationship for me. But trust is a product of time. Very few relationships here have stood that test when this decision of buying property is made. No matter how much love and trust may be present there is always the real danger of debts here, from family, from gambling, etc that this property may be used to cover without talk to the partner (to save him worry). If found early they may be able to recover but if later it may be beyond their ability to recover.Trust is nice, but without a lifetime of understanding it can easily be misplaced. Guys and gals don't operate on the same wavelength normally, and when there are the added culture/family differences here their decisions are likely not to be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 "But trust is a product of time. Very few relationships here have stood that test when this decision of buying property is made. No matter how much love and trust may be present there is always the real danger of debts here, from family, from gambling, etc that this property may be used to cover without talk to the partner (to save him worry). If found early they may be able to recover but if later it may be beyond their ability to recover." ......................................................................... Relationships operate differently I guess, and the factors you mention does complicate matters. I got an image of a child making an excuse for stealing cookies when you mentioned the "save him worry" justification. I would have problems with this mentality in a marriage, and would question how mature a person who could do such a thing is. Or where her loyalties lie if its the family who is the worry. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 i don't understand the importance guys here place over money. i mean, if my relationship would go sour the last thing i would be worried about would be money - i would be heartbroken. fuck the money - i could live without that - but not without my wife. in the case my relationship would go sour it would only help me emotionally to get over the shock faster if she would take me through the cleaners financially. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun_Kong Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Says Tiger Moth: KS, Your position makes sense to me. As I recall, the day I got married, the woman I was marrying was quite in love with me and intending to spend the rest of her life with me. I also recall, as she was suing me for divorce, her saying, "I'll take you for everything you've got"!. However, in the heat of passion, when a relationship ends, I wouldn't want to be so vulnerable as to have a home that I paid for in her name alone. Somewhat the same experience for me, except...: In the 70's, I lived with an American woman for 4 years.Undying love pledge, etc., etc. Me in college, applying for student loans at the same time we were purchasing house. Needed to show no money, no assets for me to get the grant that didn't have to be repaid. Put the house entirely in her name- no problem, undying love, etc., etc. Married her 4 years later. Paid 29,000 USD for the house. She puts 7K USD down as deposit. She works a bit off and on, spending a good part of her income on clothes and booze. I work my butt off, finishing graduate school and working 2-3 jobs at the same time, paying all bills (including mortgage on the house). I graduate, continuing to pay all bills. When we divorce 8 years later (total 12 years together, 11 years since buying house), house is worth over 200,000 USD. What does it look like in court? Let's see... she owns a house for 3 years, marries a guy. She gets the house entirely!! I end up with no money to show for the investment. My $192.60 monthly mortgage payment turns into a $1000 monthly rental payment, plus alimony! My lifestyle goes right down the toilet. Postscript: With the help of a good friend, I pull my life out of the toilet, dry it off and live happily ever since (18 years since divorce). She continues drinking, sells house to pay her bills, squanders all of her money, in and out of alcoholic treatment centers, now lives in a rundown trailer with some bum she met in one of her rehabs. Although my heart truly still goes out to her, there is a certain ironic sense of cosmic justice. Happened in America, where the courts protect against these sorts of things (ha!). Doubt it would ever happen in LOS, though (please pick me up after I finish ROFLMAO). Thanks for helping me to count my blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Fly says: "i don't understand the importance guys here place over money. i mean, if my relationship would go sour the last thing i would be worried about would be money" In a lot of situations it is the money that causes a relationship to end. Wife gets angry enough and leaves her husband beause she thinks she's bucks up with property when she could have stayed on to work problems out. Or she mortgages property to finance brothers' scheme to work in Taiwan or to pay off gambling debts and her husband dumps her. I'm playing devil's advocate here but shit does happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Sorry for jumping in like that but got a little question. What if the couple had a child say 10 years old. Would there be a way where a legal document is made up through the farang's lawyer and signed by both the farang and the lady stating that when the kid reaches the legal age of 18, the property will automatically be his/hers? Is this legally possible??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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