Torneyboy Posted July 20, 2003 Report Share Posted July 20, 2003 My wife's sister has been with this guy about 3 or 4 months and i do not like him at all. Her last BF of 2 years was a very bad break up for her and we all wanted her to stand back and smell the roses for a while and not jump headlong into another relationship. But she did ..via an asian intro agency in Sydney. I am running out of excuses for not having the two of them in my home at the same time...going to a movie,see my parents etc etc. She and i swapped cars last weekend and had to come to my place to get keys back and he was with her that night..had to offer him a beer (nearly killed me to ask him ). She is very desperate to get married and have a family(independently wealthy ..owns her own business)...i just think this guy is not for real..she had caught him out on more than one time talking to an EX GF and just brushed it aside ( she calls me for english stuff) even though has been heer 7 years and perm res visa. He is 35 she 33. Now we find out he is going on a short holiday to Manila..for diving...(i think Muff) leaves today. she leaves for BKK on Wed this week..take him to meet her parents in floating markets. A very difficult situation for me and my wife..i tell my wife i do not like him she also feels he is not right....but family we have to support her etc. I do not have anything really to confront him with appart from gut feelings. Think she deserves better but not sure how to tackle this whole problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted July 20, 2003 Report Share Posted July 20, 2003 nothing really you can do except share your frustrations here as she's a grown woman so up to her right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted July 20, 2003 Report Share Posted July 20, 2003 TB, Your sister in law seems to have had a run of bad luck lately, with these guys. Hopefuly time willimprove the situation, otherwise, I'll come up and have a word with the guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted July 20, 2003 Report Share Posted July 20, 2003 In this situation I would have left it to your wife to deal with this and have a chat with her sis. Trying to deal with it yourself can land you into troublesome waters. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 Ok, I'll throw in my two cents worth! First off, no matter what you tell her about him she's not going to listen too you. Second of all I do believe that being thirty three years old would make her an adult. Funny thing, there's no feeling like feeling alone! Let her be happy and be happy for her. Life is a road of mistakes, The survivors learn from those mistakes! Besides it really is her life and he may just be that knight on the white horse. I hope you don't interpret this as a flame, trust me it is not. I have been in your position before, You're running a race on a treadmill! Besides look on the good side of it, You don't have to live with him! Trust me, do yourself and your wife a favor, Love her for who she is and the choices she makes, support her and wish her all the best! Then chill out, enjoy the wife and whatever happens...happens! Unless you've never made any mistakes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 All valid points here, TB. There's not much you can do but telling her honestly what you think about this guy IF she asks for your opinion that is. IMO she should have learnt from her mistakes and experiences in the past (being 33) and if she hasn't, it'll probably take her a few more years than It takes for others to see where she made the wrong turn. I know it hurts to see a family-member choosing the wrong option in one's own eyes, but you must accept her decision and hope she's either hit the jackpot or yet another valuable lesson :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 >>>>>>>>>She is very desperate to get married and have a family(independently wealthy ..owns her own business)...i just think this guy is not for real..she had caught him out on more than one time talking to an EX GF and just brushed it aside. Now we find out he is going on a short holiday to Manila..for diving...(i think Muff) leaves today.<<<<<<<<<< Well....she's 33, and if has not learned enough already, I doubt you, or even sister, can talk any sense into her. I certainly would not interfere, and if did, I'd present it through her sister. If she's not asking for opinions, you can only assume she does not want any given. The fact she is 'desperate' is going to cloud all reason. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sui_lo Posted July 21, 2003 Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 Might be worth getting a book with diving in Philipines for her. Never heard of anyone going to Manilla for that - unless your suspicions are correct... Probably won't help though - she'll see what she wants to see. Guess just gotta roll with it :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted July 21, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 Says CaptCraig: Ok, I'll throw in my two cents worth! First off, no matter what you tell her about him she's not going to listen too you. Second of all I do believe that being thirty three years old would make her an adult. Funny thing, there's no feeling like feeling alone! Let her be happy and be happy for her. Life is a road of mistakes, The survivors learn from those mistakes! Besides it really is her life and he may just be that knight on the white horse. I hope you don't interpret this as a flame, trust me it is not. I have been in your position before, You're running a race on a treadmill! Besides look on the good side of it, You don't have to live with him! Trust me, do yourself and your wife a favor, Love her for who she is and the choices she makes, support her and wish her all the best! Then chill out, enjoy the wife and whatever happens...happens! Unless you've never made any mistakes! Support her ...yes buddha teaches me this . But hard to accept a guy that has paid 20000 bt for a date. No i/we do not have to live with him...but if we do not embrace him and bring him fully into the family...may/will cause friction between the sisters and me . I guess what i have not said is this ....IMO he is not good enough for her...Ok who am i to say that and try and (control)her love life.you may think. I/we want the best for her and we are finding it very hard to come to terms with her choice ....and all way to fast. I hope you are right BTW...thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted July 21, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2003 Says Zaad: All valid points here, TB. There's not much you can do but telling her honestly what you think about this guy IF she asks for your opinion that is. IMO she should have learnt from her mistakes and experiences in the past (being 33) and if she hasn't, it'll probably take her a few more years than It takes for others to see where she made the wrong turn. I know it hurts to see a family-member choosing the wrong option in one's own eyes, but you must accept her decision and hope she's either hit the jackpot or yet another valuable lesson :: I hope the jackpot but :: She is such a great girl i hate to see her miss out on Mr right. He has paid this agency...i called them BTw )no names) just asked what the deal is ...told me you pay and can see 10 ladies in a twelve month period. Ok i will sit back and see how it unfolds ...for the good we both hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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