BelgianBoy Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that despite his age of 72 years, he could still have sex three times per night. Kylie Minogue, who was also a guest, looked intrigued and after the show said "Sean, if I'm not being too forward, I would love to have sex with an older man. Let's go back to my place." So they go back to her room and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean said, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour and we will have even better sex. But while I'm sleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and my prick in your right." Kylie looks perplexed, but agrees. After his half hour sleep, Sean awakes and they have even better sex. Kylie says "That was wonderful." "Well," says Sean, "If you let me sleep for an hour, we will have the best sex yet. But again, hold my balls in your left hand and my dick in your right" Kylie is used to the routine, so after his hour's sleep, they have mind blowing sex. Once it's all over and the cigarettes are lit, Kylie asks "Sean, tell me, does my holding your balls in my left hand and your dick in my right, stimulate you while you're sleeping." "No," he says in his broad Scottish brogue. "The last time I slept with a slut from Melbourne, she stole my wallet!" Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 Keep'em coming, BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted December 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 Zaad, I cant, I just had 3 rounds ........ :: :: :: Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 Why wasn't Jesus born Australian; God failed to find 3 wise men and a virgin. -------------------------------------------------------- He could be black, look at the evidence; Likes gospel, Call's people brother, Didn't get a fair trial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 IN the beginning there was nothing, and god said "let there be light", and there was light. * note: there was still nothing, but now you sould see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted December 13, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Ok then, some pick up lines ME: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money. ME: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. ME: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. ME: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share. ME: Will you go out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend. ME: Your face must turn a few heads. SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs. ME: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out. SHE: Okay, get out. ME: I think I could make you very happy. SHE: Why? Are you leaving? ME: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time. ME: Can I have your name? SHE: Why? Don't you already have one? ME: Shall we go see a movie? SHE: I've already seen it. ME: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Hiding from you. ME: Haven't I seen you some place before? SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore. ME: Is this seat empty? SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. ME: So, what do you do for a living? SHE: I'm a female impersonator. ME: Hey baby, what's your sign? SHE: Do not enter. ME: Your body is like a temple. SHE: Sorry, there are no services today. ME: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. ME: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life, in your wildest dreams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvarpala Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Q. What have Michael Jackson and Father Christmas got in common? A. They both leave children's bedrooms with an empty sack.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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