pattaya127 Posted February 17, 2004 Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 HT means that we have no idea really how close to each other you are. So, at the end, if nothing was ever serious, at is seems, you are just back to square one and pretty much as I just implied: you put out your fingers, got burnt, as is the rule. He chose to use customer. I'd say just another farang who got played up more than he played up himself. Customer, once-BF, boy-toy, samesame as far as your emotions. Again, it's the whole context that you are up against, not just her. She is probably doing what she should do, while still having fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarfman_II Posted February 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 i am older but i dont understand your grow up bit. elaborate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted February 17, 2004 Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 You enounced a contradiction in your first post (angry/happy for the same thing, in short), that denotes immaturity, or at least indecision, which often comes up as immaturity in matters of the heart, especially within a P4P context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2004 Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 so does that imply if i have a conflict emotionally and feel happy/anger at the same time that I am simply immature? do not mature people have emotion conflicts as well.? :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2004 Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 I think you should get a few more girls, start a stable and enjoy a life of leisure with those bitches painting your toe nails and shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarfman_II Posted February 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 127, you gotta chip on your shoulder my man... shit yes i am pissed off i never said i was happy about whats going on - although i am bewilderment that instead of her taking off in hard times, she is still around and happy to share her profits - does not sound like a finger burned scenario to me, but something much bigger than ego. so i am wondering if its such bad idea to take YOUR dollars when she gives it to me. Better than the motorcycle guy lurking around the corner dont you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sui_lo Posted February 17, 2004 Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 Dunno if it will be much help but I'll give you a rundown on my position now which started like yours... 6 years ago started seeing Thai girl working bar outside of Thailand. Within 1 year she was staying at mine basically everynight and I was the official boyfriend. She still worked, I still played the field and it was just left unspoken... Neither flaunted what we were doing, so easily ignored. Occasionally (usually with drink in me), we'd have a blazing row but all forgotten again when sober. Why ignored? Both insecure about where things would lead and what we wanted (with the benefit of hindsight). I was a big risk for her (comparatively young and poor as opposed to regualr customers), she was a big risk for me (didn't fit image for work, low english skills, professional possibly looking for bigger fish to fry) so just maintained status quo. Eventually, both became more secure, initially she started to stop going with customers only getting drinks (for the sake of the story can the cynics just take this as is...), my daliances became rarer and rarer. Now, she's been out of the bar for nearly 2 years, she's running her own business, I've been essentially faithful and we're living together liek husband and wife with a kid on the way. Took 5 years for both of us to get to the place where we were happy that we would get what we want from the other, despite seeing each other basically every day. Basically, gotta work out what you want and what she wants. If she's still with you despite the other customers then she's giving you a chance but she's not ready to commit for some reason (lack of security, not enough money, your own indiscretions perhaps...). Work it out, then decide if you're happy to give it the time to solve. If not, get out now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 DrNickRiviera said:I think you should get a few more girls, start a stable and enjoy a life of leisure with those bitches painting your toe nails and shit been there, done that..... except for the toenail painting that is. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 i may have misunderstood his story. But put yourself in the situation as I undertood it. You got a P4P GF, whom you can't take away from the scene, as you are here too, not farangland. You feel anger, emotion, right, but you and i know already there is something wrong in this picture, as far as we talk having real affection for this girl, not just a hot chick we ball in her spare time. then we talk about a 30 over guy who is not stable financially, needs/accepts that the GF shares her profits earned on her back. Then, he feels rather relieved and happy about that (i would too!!). It's just the adding up of all that that sets me off. Adults don't live off another person, at least not on a regular basis. Find a job or go home, I'd say, she'll dump you anyway at some point. all this if i understood the story right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 As I understand it, he CAN take her away from the scene.... and support her, but she prefers to be IN the p4p scene, and even throws some of her earnings in the kitty sometimes. He doesn't appear to be 'living off the avails', just having a difficult time coping with the whole scene. I can relate to that, having been there before. My answer was to give her a choice.......... me and stay out of the scene, or stay in the game and not have me. Others have managed to reconcile this type of scenario and live with it, some comfortably, some with great stress. Each must make up their own set of priorities and comfort levels. There is NO single answer for everyone, although most will agree that it is a leave me or leave the scene choice. I have met those who are comfortable with either scene and my own personal choices do not reflect a relevant decision for anyone else, save myself. And yes, adults live off one another all the time, even when you go to a regular job and your gf lives off you. It's her work that most cannot deal with. And that decision can be only made by the individual involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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