whosyourdaddy Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 "if she indeed is a more conservative woman, than be prepared to be observed/chaperoned/stay chaste for a while. don't start enything sexual before she gives you more than clear signs. and know, that if she is a conservative woman not only from the outside, than marriage is supposed to happen if anything sexual happens (even if it is not straight away talked about)." I agree 100%. Took me 6 months for a kiss and in the end it cost me a wedding ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 <<I agree 100%. Took me 6 months for a kiss and in the end it cost me a wedding ring>> Gee--your sack must have been dragging on the floor!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 Yes the joke at the time I was the only expat who had blue balls and wet dreams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 I have read your post a couple of times and still can't quite work out whether the girl works there, or a is a student there. If the latter, then its a no brainer. If the former (she is working there), then the issue becomes slightly more cloudy. *However*, not very much more cloudy because of this: >when i came here but i needed a work permit. ..and I assume you *still* need a work permit. Given that: >she is the daughter of a senior professor/dean basically you will be putting your ability to stay in Thailand (in what you say is a comfortable state), on *her* whim (and/or the whim of daddy). Really here (Thailand), it will not even take a formal sacking, just a quiet word (from daddy) to whoever, that your services are no longer required (or that you are detrimental to the uni *or* whatever) and your work permit re-application/visa etc will hit sudden "snags". Is she *really* worth risking your whole stay for, given that there are, as they say "many more fish in the sea". or, to put it another way (and somewhat more bluntly): Don't shit on your own doorstep. -j- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 Oh, and PS. Ajarns (of whatever ilk) who date students *deserve* termination. Wait till they are of of your class/school or Uni. -j- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crofty68 Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 No experience with a Thai workplace.. I do have universal workplace experience though... Your posts, to me, show an intelligent well thought out person, who doesn't do things rashly. Affairs of the heart, if this is what it is, sometimes deserve rule books to be thrown out. I was once interested in a women who was a co-worker, who fitted all my criteria.I didnt make a move, due to the workplace.When the opportunity (me leaving) arose, she was spoken for. I would say, tentatively, go for it. I believe that there are only approx. 2 people anyone will ever meet & get to know properly, that in ones lifetime, ever agree with a self perception of your perfect mate,which IMHO is often, not actually realised. Good Luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted March 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 To answer some of the questions that were raised... Senior professor/dean is her mother and not father. She has been a long-time professor at the school and carries weight at the school. She is not a student or a worker at where I work but comes to school with her mother every day and then heads off to her office job in the morning. It is new ground to explore and I admit the potential for serious problems could arise if the relationship doesn't go well and spitefullness could cost me my job. But my livelihood doesn't depend on this job so it wouldn't be the end of the world.... Yes, there are many fish in the thai sea. But we put ourselves in certain positions to gain advantages based on the circumstances. My gut feeling is if i don't take advanatge of this golden opportunity, then i have blown a self-selected situation where i have the advantage where we have observed each other for the last six months but with very little conversation occurring. If she didn't express a recent interest, i wouldn't had become now actively interested. But since she seems interested, I am going to try keeping the risks in mind. I was just looking for any known pitfalls that i could be warned about ahead of time..... It all gets down to "is she worth the risk?" I guess i will find out..... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robaus Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 >>It all gets down to "is she worth the risk?" .. every day's a risk. You don't want to die wondering if she really were Miss Right. Mind you, play it canny, but.. what's the worst that can happen? Loss of face .. There's only one person keeping score on your life - you! Forget the rest. Loss of job ... who cares? You say you're not dependent on it anyway, and maybe this is Buddha's way of saying time for a sea change in your life. Good on you, mate. I wish you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 In my experience the She will not tell the mother that she is dating you for quiet some time. Although the mother may know but officially you will only be friends. So give it a go and be ready to cut the relationship off early if it is not working out. This way nobody loses (face) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 OK - if she's not part of your faculty, and she sounds mature enough to be wise (I bet that turns around to bite me) go for it! JB OH - hang on, we are talking about University, where they offer degrees in arts? SOOOO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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