Guest lazyphil Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Getting chased by two Dobermans when me and a mate went near this drug lord looking place on a hill in Samui, we were on motorbikes but the road was windy and could not get much speed, just got away without getting savaged! Breaking down in a rented Shogun half way between Phuket and bkk on route to see the mrs brother get monked, spent the afternoon on a local beach getting wasted waiting for a bus to complete our journey (Shogun died) Taking various newbie friends/family on speedboat/longtails in bkk and getting the mrs to tell the driver to open the throttle full and watching their faces :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadaBing Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Drinking late one night in that bar across from the GP on soi11 , drinking with 1 girl there , playing connect 4 and build the blocks game. Bought some LD's for a few other girls. It was getting late and I offered to B/F her , but she told me the amount ( 1k ? ) and if I waited another 45 minutes the bar would close and she would go with me. After about 30 minutes I told her to meet me in the lobby of the GP. As I was about to leave , she pointed out another girl there and said that she was her roomate and felt bad that she would have to go home alone and asked if she could stay on the couch. As I had a suite room , no problem I asked the girls if they were hungry and we ordered room service , showers taken , and I opened my fridge to a full stock of beer and Jack D. G#1 was already pretty drunk , as was I , and G#2 was trying her best to catch up. After eating the 3 of us on the couch , G#2 is watching the telly while i'm undressing G#1 right there. Well not much undressing to do as we were all in towels. I send G#2 into the bedroom to grab a condom from the mini dresser and when she returns , G#1 is on her knee's blowing me while i'm on the couch. G#1 says something in thai to G#2 and she makes 3 more drinks , brings them and then procedes to put the condom on me. G#1 climbs aboard facing me while G#2 cant decide to watch MTV or us. We finish and it's off to pass out in the bed. With G#2 looking bewildered , I tell her the bed has plenty of room and she can watch the telly in the bed with us while we sleep. POsitions taken G#1 to my left , me in the middle and G#2 to my right. Time to I am woken up early with the crack of dawn coming thru the blinds and a hand stroking my willy , great , G#1 is ready for round 2 , turns out it is G#2 wanting breakfast.. Fine with me as G#1 is out like a light , i'm now ready to go and roll over to my left to grad another condom out of the drawer , in my still semi drunken state , i pushed G#1 off the bed and she hit the floor with a THUD... I stared at her for a moment and she didnt move , good , extra room in the bed for me and G#2 to have at it. Gave her the breakfast special , we showered and G#1 is still on the floor.. Well needless to say , we both woke her up and she quickly figured out G#2 got some too , but asked why did she sleep on the floor all night.. Sent them each off with 1500 bht and they both staggered down the hall asking me to come see them again that night.. My first Thailand twosome... Bada Bing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jxxxl Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Great stories Zaad. I'm sure everyone has a very memorable LOS moment that involves crapping. I certainly do. Perhaps the topic for another thread, "most memorable crap in LOS" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 I never thought somebody would consider taking a shit a memorable experience in LOS, but then, what can I say? One of my best, which I may never forget, is having a cobra arounf my nech and kissing his/her head. I do not know what possessed me to do that, but my girl friend did take a picture of it. I do not think I will do that again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted September 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Nice stories here LP, "Getting chased by two Dobermans when me and a mate went near this drug lord looking place on a hill in Samui, we were on motorbikes but the road was windy and could not get much speed, just got away without getting savaged!" Wish I were there, must have been hilarious to see. We're not talking about Limbo, are we? JxxxL, "I'm sure everyone has a very memorable LOS moment that involves crapping. I certainly do. Perhaps the topic for another thread, "most memorable crap in LOS" Why don't you start by giving yours? I'd love to hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted September 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Here's another one, for some reason I only remember the embarrassing moments. This happened in Phitsanulok, back in 2001, in some big department store, Makro I believe. My girl and I went there for our weekly shopping. One of the items on our shoppinglist we needed desperately were condoms. They have a nice little seperated area inside Makro for such items, like some sort of little pharmacy with special products where one must pay immediately. OK all well, once there my girl tells me to enter alone and buy those rubber boys myself as she was too shy to accompany me and face the cashier bla bla bla. I thought that was funny so I teased her a little about it, quite innocent really, but it visibly pissed her off and then she informs me she'll go with me as to overwin her 'fear' and prove me wrong or whatever. No idea. Here is where it gets interesting. Makro is a huge store but this built-in 'pharmacy' was incredibly narrow. So narrow that two adults had to walk behind one another throught the aisles as it was too damned narrow to walk side by side. Not exactly farang-friendly. So anyway, she entered with me at that point, following me like a little obedient puppy, but left me halfway. Or so she told me later after the purchase as I had not noticed her leaving me behind in narrowland. I was focused on the condoms and grabbed a few packages. Maybe not the smartest thing to do but when it comes to condoms I usually judge them by its cover. I'm really no expert on this subject. I chose a white/blue package and asked my girl (or so I thought) for her opinion. I said in these exact words, I remember this day as if it were yesterday; "Shall we try this one?" I was reading the back and side of the package as I asked and never took my eyes off it. The person behind me, a ladyboy...of all people in this world it just HAD TO BE one of those (no offence)...OK not dressed as a lady, but definitely very gay. What a timing/coincidence/whatever Thank you God! So this gay person replies he prefers the red one ..while he was pointing to a red package..probably some strawberry bullshit. I was confused, amused, shocked, embarrassed, pissed...all emotions in one. I smiled, or at least I thought I did, apologised and told him I had him confused with somebody else. I bought my choice, ignored his, and got the fuck out of there. Needless to say I never returned, with the luck I usually have I'd probably meet him there again. Once outside I told my girl who laughed her ass off after her little scam on me. She still does when we talk about it, and so do I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun_Kong Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 lazyphil said:<<Even my TGF had tears coning out of her eyes laughing>> The first time you pulled your pants down in front of her What bothers me about this comment is... HOW DO YOU KNOW?? Jeez, seems like EVERYBODY has access to this info. Just today, somebody named "RockHard 4 U" even sent an email to me offering to "...increase your length by 2 inches in under 5 minutes!!!". I think I'll write back to him right now. I wouldn't want to miss this opportunity to double my size. back 2 U Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted September 17, 2004 Report Share Posted September 17, 2004 Hiu Zaad "grabbed a few packages" My wife says you ..."sexy man".... When we meet up next visit.......we will not go shopping with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jxxxl Posted September 18, 2004 Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 OK, here goes.... On one of my first trips to LOS, I was working with a colleague doing some presentations and demos to one of the big Thai banks. The bank had people fly in from all over the region and there was a lot of pressure to get things right during this week. Each day, we would start early in the morning, have lunch in the executive dining room and then continue till late in the evening. Lunches in the executive dining room were very nice and our host treated us with the greatest hospitality. They knew we were relative newbies to Thailand and ordered all sorts of interesting food for us. Around the middle of the week, we had another nice lunch and desert and coffee was ordered. One of the deserts was a hot ginger broth with lumps of (I think) bean curd. It was sweet but acidic, but tasted good so I gobled it up. I had a few cups of coffee as well. After lunch, we all pile into the elevator to go back to our agenda. On the way down, I feel a sudden and immense gurgling and build up of pressure like nothing I have felt before. I knew then and there I was going to have a major problem soon. So, when the elevator reaches our floor, I pass by the hong nam and it's jammed with people - the after lunch crowd. I'm way too embarrassed to do my business in there, so I tell my colleague I'm going to walk down the street to our hotel because it's an EMERGENCY. So, I walk to the elevator and there's a huge crowd waiting. I decide I'm gonna take the stairs down - yea right. I'm walking casually for the first few steps, but with each bouncep, the 10 gallons of liquid inside me is just heaving and I start to panic. I then dash to the toilet on the next floor down, push my way through the people brushing their teeth and fixing their hair, and the hong nam attendants (there were about three in there at the time), and plant my ass on the crapper. I then let rip with the most violent shit erruption imagineable. And, yes, it must have sounded like Pearl Harbor in there. All the while I was thinking, how am I going to walk out of this place after I get done with this. After finishing with my horrendous shit, I look over for the bog roll and guess what, no toilet paper!!!!!! I am absolutely panic stricken. Mind you, I am not an asia veteran at that time so I don't know how to improvise like I do now - I learned that day. So, my brain is running full speed trying to figure out what to do with this mess. I look over and see a hose with a sprayer. I think, what the hell is thing for, must be for cleaning the floor, I'll bet I can spray off my ass with it. So, I spray off my ass and viola, part of the problem solved. So, now, how do I dry off my ass? Aha, my siglet, that'll do. So off with the tie and cuff links, off with the shirt and off with the singlet. I wipe my ass with it and leave it on the floor. Good, now I can get back to my hotel and clean up properly and get some medicine. I walk back to the hotel and barely make it to my room before exploding again, and again, and again. At this point, I think I have disentary. When I feel like I can leave the room, I go down and get some Keopectate. I drink half the bottle and walk back to the bank. When I get back to the bank, I see my colleague. His face is ashen and he has beads of sweat running down his face. He sees the bottle of Keopectate, grabs it and drinks half the bottle, then tells me he's been sprinting to the shitter all afternoon, and thanks me for leaving him there alone. At that point, one of our hosts says, "oh, have you been having problems too like your friend? Don't worry, it was the desert, it helps with digestion." I'm thinking fucken right it helps with digestion. Anyway, that was an unforgetable moment. My colleague and I told that story at least 100 times when talking about business trip war stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted September 18, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 :grinyes: Thanks for sharing that, was a great laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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