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An Unbelievable 10 Hours in Pattaya


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I have been here two weeks now and had gotten right back in the groove with my main lady. I arrived the night of the travesty in New York and had just located Pon when I heard about it. I felt lucky to have her familiar spirit and affection that night of all nights.

When she is good, she is great! She takes care of me in every way you can imagine, and readers on this board can imagine a lot. She cooks and cleans my room thoroughly. She loves sex beyond all bounds and more than satisfying herself, she wants to see that I am happy. She also loves sex with ladies and takes a long time to see that they are happy too. Last night I had paid her bar fine and we went to Soi 8 to look for a lady. Finding a lady on Soi 8 is about as difficult as finding food spicy food. A smiling face appealed to me and we dropped anchor at the first bar on the street.

The 27 year old from Issan was nice but seemed a little standoffish at first. In a few minutes I offered her a drink and she became VERY friendly. Pon talked to her and she definitely wanted to go with us. Pon had asked her if she "smoked" and then tried to translate the reply which was something about what she would do and wouldn't do. Pon said, "Lady no smoke but (something, something, something)" and nodded towards my nether regions. The only correct answer to the question being an unqualified "Yes!" I shook my head and got ready to move on.


Do You Want to Be a Thousand Baht Aire!??

Q: Do you smoke?

1. "No."

2. "Can, but no like."

3. "Smoke but cannot _________."

4. "I like sa-moke too much!?"


But the company was nice and we didn't move quickly. In a few minutes an unexpected rain (umbrella at condo of course) began to fall. We were stuck but not unhappy. I ordered a vodka orange (wad-kaaa namsom) to follow my beer. The lady we had been talking to had told Pon about her friendly friend who had been serving our drinks. She "sa-moke goot"and wanted to go with us. While her face was a little flawed, she had a tall slender body that anyone would love. She was nice to talk to and I decided. "Yes. She go."

Meanwhile the at-first-standoffish girl pushed her barstool next to mine and caressed my leg. She was smiling and giving me heavy eye contact. Then she said, "Okay! Smoke okay." "Too late sweetheart, " I said. "I take the other lady." "Nung, song, sam, sii!" she counted pointing to each of us. "Take three lady!" she laughed. I'm sure I lack imagination (not to mention baht), "Two ladies good, three ladies confusing." She continued to lobby with hand holding and affection and "Smoke, okay. Smoke, okay." Always with the funniest smile. I was liking her a lot and told her that I would come back another time just for her. She pointed at me and herself, nodded and smiled broadly.

After a bit Pon, Puu and I made our way through the dripping rain to a taxi waiting at the corner. Back at the condo I played my guitar and sing-a-songed (sang) a few tunes for our guest. Then I went to take a shower and Pon told Puu to go with me and "take care." Coming out of her towel, Puu showed a body as lovely as her disposition. She washed every part of me leaving no part untouched, God Bless America, Thailand and the British Isles!, and after awhile Pon joined us. Since she hadn't started her lesbian routine and we never knew how it would be received, I was happy to see that Puu was glad to let Pon wash her. Pon was soon focused on the prized areas and Puu was as happy as could be.

I said I was finished "Set lay-ow" and they both howled. Finished is a euphemism for "come" and they laughed. "Why you have two lady and finish by yourself." On and on...they were having a great time and we were all happy.

I in the bed we were equally happy. No, more happy! Everybody smoked, and everybody smoked everybody. The girls went after each other like sex-crazed lesbians - absolutely no holds barred. After a bit one would come back to me and then the other would also make herself useful. After about an hour I was fully satisfied and ready to sleep, but the thing about Pon is she doesn't stop! Everyone finishes and the she begins. The attack of the sex machine! Fortunately Puu had more energy than I did and seemed happy to go as long as Pon wanted. After another hour I playfully restrained Pon and she finally stopped.

So all was great!! This was the most sex fun I have ever had and I was looking forward to more of the same. We would definitely take Puu again.

How fast things can change in Thailand...

I had finally gotten to sleep and at some point I felt my bald head being rubbed. Good. Then four fingernails cut across the top. Ouch!! I stumble into the bathroom to see if I am bleeding. No, it wasn't that bad. I hate to have scratches and sores on my bald head!

I assumed Puu had been the perp and was just being overly affectionate. When asked she pointed to Pon, and I still don't know if it was an accident or she was trying to wake me. Ladies with long fingernails really don't know how much they can hurt.

On my last trip I had met Pon and everything had been fine until the end when she started drinking a lot of whiskey. My whiskey. And getting drunk and stupid. Stupid meaning she would drink, jabber endless incomprehensible complaints and cry. I would tell her to go carry on in her room, not mine, but had little success getting rid of her. Once when I had a motorbike and she thought I was bringing her from a disco to my place. To her surprise I motored her the 5 kilometers to her place. Fifteen minutes back at the condo and, surprise, surprise, there was a knock on my door. I had had misgivings about seeing her at all this trip, but I had left a suitcase with her and so we had started up again.

She knew I did not like her drinking and we had had drag out arguments about it a couple of times. A liter of whiskey lasts me about 10 days. Pon would drink a liter in an evening if I let her. This time she had drank very little and stayed completely away from my whiskey. She seems like a typical alcoholic. If she stays away from it she is okay. If she drinks a little, she gets high fast and drinks a lot more.

After waking up she went for the little bit of whiskey I had left in my glass. Then she started getting strange and went for the bottle, pouring about half a tumbler. I said, "Cannot." and poured it back into the bottle and put the bottle in the room safe. She defiantly grabbed a can of beer from the refrigerator. She drank that and started yakking at me. "What you want? You want me? Sure? Not sure?" She yakked a lot about the lady who had told her she would not smoke and then told me she would. She seemed to see this as a failure on her part. Had she lost face? Whatever it was her English is bad at the best of times, but when she is drunk and agitated it's even worse. As had happened in the past, she was speaking English words but the syntax was impossible. If she was talking about anything, it was incomprehensible. Thais are very tolerant about drunkenness and generally try to let such difficult situations slip past. Puu, who I had enjoyed immensely and had been the perfect date, maintained an amused countenance, but after a bit she had to "go baby." Shit! I wished Pon would go baby. I gave Puu 700 baht and she was gone. It was about 5:00 AM.

Pon really lit up. She grabbed another beer from the refrigerator. She fumbled with the pull tab and I got it away from her before she could open it. She was into her "cycle" again: "You no happy? You no like me? What you want?" On and on and on. I didn't know what the hell she was on about. I tell her "Mai kow jai." This only results in her repeating and repeating and repeating and getting louder.

It happened that my girlfriend from BKK was coming to visit that afternoon. I had told Pon the day before and she should have had no problem with it. In fact she was saying that, telling me how good she was to me. "Lady come from Bangkok, no problem for me." It was all true. She is tolerant of my butterfly ways and even gets ladies for me/us. There was never a suggestion that this was to be a monogamous relationship. She took good care of me, waiting on me hand and foot, cooking, cleaning, bathing me and doing everything else. But here she was, loud, drunk and stupid. From my experience with her, once it happens it happens a lot.

"You go to your room," I said. "No! I speak you!" "No speak. Go!" She threw herself on the bed and yakked for another hour. Finally I got some clothes on her. I took her shoes and purse and put them in the hall. "Go!" She plunks down in a chair shooting me defiant daggers. She has taken me and the condo hostage! No way. I grab her and drag towards the door - a first in my relations with women. She splays out on the floor and plants her fingernails in my arm. Not worth it. Back to the chair she goes.

On and on and on. Yakking, crying, crying, yakking. 8:00 AM now. No way she is leaving. At one point she stands up, the door is open and undeterred by her desperate resistance I manhandle her into the hall. She sits down. I sure am glad no one else seems to be up. Now she is really outraged and gets even more ugly. Oohh, I really wanted to give her one good shot a la Ralph Cramden, "One of these days Alice, POW!! right in the kisser!" But I didn't. A Thai man would have decked her and she would have been looking for her teeth.

At that point the one little illegal thing that I had ever done in Thailand came up to compromise me. A few days ago she had suggested we rent an adult video, an XXX rated fuck flick. "Ok, where is video store?" I naively asked. After a lot of asking of taxi drivers we find a dark little shop on Pattaya Klang. "How many?" I am asked. What!? What do you mean, 'How many?' Where are they? "How many you want?" Pon said two. "Okay, but I want to look at what they have." Ha! The owner goes out through a back door and comes back with two videos. "What is problem?" Pon pantomimes police putting on handcuffs. Oh really!? This is clay-zee! You mean I can buy a woman but I can't rent a video? Surely you jest!

Anyway we take them and they were pretty good. They had labels "Mexican Hot Girls" and "More Dirty Debutantes" but they turned out to be clips from different videos and not a single Mexican or Debutante anywhere. TIT.

Now it comes back to haunt me: "We take videos Pattaya Klang!" she says. "No, I am not going anywhere with you" and I walk off. She sits outside my door. I go downstairs to see about getting some help. The night shift girl and the security guard are sitting in the lobby. I take a Thai approach. Very low key. I sit down and smile. I explain my problem. The guard smiles and scratches his head. "No speak Eeeglish." The girl understands and smiles shyly. Everybody is smiling. "I think if you talk to her she will go," I said to the girl. Eyes big, a little incredulous, "You want me talk her?" Five minutes later and everybody is still smiling. My friends are embarrassed. At that point the boss lady arrives. "You must talk her," I am told. Three words are out of my mouth. "You want security?" "Yes." Three words to the guard and we are going up the elevator.

As expected, Pon yaks his ear off for ten minutes. I hear my name a lot - "falang, falang, falang, falang." I can only imagine.

Meantime I started to worry about the videos. I had played golf with some expats a couple of days ago and asked them the status of such things. "Don't get caught with them." While Pon was engaged with the security guard, I had taken them out of the room and stashed them on another floor. When the guard finally told her to go we rode down the elevator together and I was planning to walk off to breakfast. I was carrying my small backpack and Pon thought I had the videos. She stuck with me. I hopped a motorcycle taxi, she hopped another. No good. I hopped off, she hopped off. I told her I didn't have the videos. I jogged off. She jogged with me in her four inch high stacked bar girl shoes. What a picture - 56 year old farang jogging in Nike knockoff sandals with bar girl in moon shoes. My stamina is good. When I thought I was well ahead I jumped into a song tao taxi and got in back. "OK! ... Oh...Shit!" She was sitting in the front seat with the driver! I got out. They assumed I was paying for her. No way!

I jogged off. She hopped a motor taxi. They tried to get me to pay for her again. I realized that there was no way I was going to shake her. I told her I would get her the videos if she would wait from me around the corner from the condo. No way she would do that. We went to the condo, walked past the confused security guard and boss lady and got in the elevator. I retrieved the videos, went down the stairs and we were out on the street again. "Here." I handed her the videos. She stuck her nose in the air. "Go together." "I don't want to go anywhere with you!"

Then she started threats about the police. "You want me get police now?" Here it was, the only quasi, little, semi-illegal thing I had ever done in the Kingdom! In my face. I wasn't overly-concerned about it and mai pen rai, what could I do anyway? This bitch (six hours earlier one of the greatest girls in the world) was giving me a very bad morning. Without speaking to her I hailed a song tao. She had an overly-long conversation with the driver before getting in back with me. Then, without regard for the other embarrassed (but intrigued) Thai passengers she started up on me.

"You cannot stay in Pattaya. You make too much problem Thai ladies. I think you have accident. I think Buddha give you accident. Now we go police." She was pulling out the whole arsenal. The Thai language is rich in the vocabulary of vengeance and reprisal. I was only getting the broken English part.

I wasn't particularly worried about anything she was saying and it was in line with what I know about Thai culture. I was compromised by being in possession of the tapes and I didn't want a problem with the police, but on the other hand, I only had two videos for private use. Probably a matter of a few hundred baht, but I'm out of my element here and I'm not sure. The worst consequence might be a stamp in my passport giving me a permanent, one way pass out of the Land of Smiles. Not smiling today, but mai pen rai. I was tired of this and I was not sure where the taxi was going after her talk with the driver and "We go police now." I pushed the buzzer. "I told driver Pattaya Klang," she said. Too bad. I got out. My shadow got out. I threw the videos in a garbage can and walked away.

Yay!! She didn't expect that! Of course she grabbed them. Now she had them and I didn't. "We go together," she said, running up behind me. "They put in your name and my name." Well they didn't put anything in my name because I didn't give it to them and I'm sure Pon doesn't know my full name. "I'm not going with you." "How much you give me go by myself? How much for no go police." "Go to the police," I said. "You want to talk to the police, go!" She looked totally deflated - her big gun was empty. "OK. How much you give me for taxi and pay for video?" Well, here I could save her some face, and I gave her five hundred baht. A bit more yakking and she swung the videos at my head, but not too hard. A glancing blow which broke the skin but did not bleed. Finished! We parted at last.

Half an hour after returning to the condo my sweetheart from Bangkok telephoned to say she would be on her way in an hour. At three o'clock she arrived and by four we were splashing in the pool. Three days later she is still here, no return of the schizo alcoholic.

I don't know if I can make sense out of what happened with Pon. Like a Cohen Brothers Movie (Blood Simple, Fargo) this episode was just messy. There were no winners. I don't have the tolerance to allow a drunk woman to disturb my neighbors at 4:00 AM, to let her drive off other good women or to take me hostage in my room. When she was good she was really good, but the down slope was just too steep. On my last visit she would have a couple of beers, come to the condo, drink all of my whiskey, cry and jabber incomprehensibly for hours on end. Towards the end of that trip it was happening every couple of days and the neighbors banged the walls for mercy.

Bottom line of this episode. There are too many great women here to get stuck with this kind of a problem. I did not take her threats to be idle, but I am stubborn too and I will not be jacked up by a bar girl, let the chips fall where they may. I will not be intimidated.

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Great post! Wow! Pleasure and pain in a 10 hour shift. If I had a girl who would actually go out and get other girls for me for 2 on 1 action, I would be weak enough to put up with a whole lot just so that the party wouldn't stop. You're a better man than me Zane May!

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Hope its the last you have heard from her.

I think I know this girl ( probably several just like her) after some fun, they get drinking and go nutty.

harder to get rid of than a stinky turd on ur shoe. ( and way more trouble)

From what I can tell from situations like this

( have to admit, happened more than a few times.. )

It may be a power trip for them, they find something to hold over you and use it till you call their bluff.

they spend so much time being controlled, being a "servant" the drinking makes them "crack" and they go nutz

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Zane, Thai g/fs have their own agenda, no matter what one thinks has been talked about, agreed, understood with them. And no matter how good they are to us at one point, including sex, we have to remember their situation as working girls carries a lot of neurosis and psychological scars we farangs do not always address, as we come to Pattaya for very different reasons than they do. And yes, we are always being tested, and one step away from becoming the enemy. You are a pretty open-minded guy, and she may have played along, but ultimately that's too much "luggage" for her to take on, and as you gave her plenty of opportunities to size you up, she'll deal with it the only way she knows: boozing down and running amok. I had pretty much the same experience as you did, and the correct response is to set yourself free.

They just don't have as much fun overall as we do, and that makes sense, doesn't it?

[ September 28, 2001: Message edited by: pattaya127 ]

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You played the situation well sounds like the all to familiar " heaven and hell " scenario.

I've experienced two of those wretched situations myself, and like you did its crucial to get them out of the hotel/ condo.

The first time it happened to me was in Pattaya when some freelancer started speaking in to her mobile , and telling me 7 pipe weilding Thai guys were on there way to the hotel to kick the shit out of me.

All she kept saying was " you want monkey house or you want hospital"

Like you I had compromised myself in that we had smoked some weed a few hours before so I was terrified and payed her off.

The second time it happened to me I had wised up, I just laughed and told her to get the police, as I would be calling the tourist police. I pulled out me phone to add effect.

Moral of the story is don't give them a lever!

wink.gif" border="0

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I also was taken hostage in Pattaya about a week before you. I had not compromised myself in any way (other than by associating with the scum of the earth), but her lever was that I was a nice guy who was determined to keep the harmony.

I told her the time was up and it was time to go at about 3pm after a day on Jomtien. As soon as I barfined this nutcase at 9pm the previous night, I knew I had made a mistake. We had a reasonably enjoyable evening at Tonys, but it was obvious that this girl had a few problems.

On the beach she told me about how her boyfriend had taken her to Hong Kong and Singapore, and that she didn't like the guy and just complained constantly, and enjoyed baiting him for arguments. She told me she just wanted to get as much clothes for her family as possible, and tried to milk the guy as much as possible. She apparently (i) trusted me alot; or (ii) was too stupid to realise the effect of these words on me ie she had just revealed her true character.

Between phone calls from the boyfriends she then asked me if I was coming back to Pattaya to see her again. I told her I doubted I would ever come back to Pattaya again (a little bit provacative but true enough) at which point she got in a bit of a huff. We 'made up' but the decisive factor was when she 'negotiated' a songtao from Jomtien to South Pattaya for the bargain price of 50 baht (thanks love). I told her (in case she didn't know) that the standard rate was 10 baht per person, to which she responded "Oh, you know." Yes I do know - I had already told her that I had spent quite a bit of time on Jomtien. Its only a 30 baht difference, but the insignificance of the amount actually fucked me off even more -she was prepared to try and take me for a measly 30 baht, which wasn't even going in to her pocket.

Back in the hotel I paid her and told her I was going to sleep alone tonight. It took a while, but she finally squeezed out some tears. "Why you ankee me" The tact I took was the "I'm not angry, I like you, I just want to sleep alone" Similar to the "Its not you its me" which has been so successful in breaking up with girls at home. I went for the nice approach for about an hour, and the tears were now flowing freely and the buffalo story came out (not exactly the buffalo but you get the idea).

Her arguments ranged from her sister's schooling, her baby, her previous marriage to the thai construction worker who drank their savings (surprise surprise), the farangs that bash her and don't pay her, her papasan who can't speak thai, the sickness in her throat that won't go away (thrush perhaps?), her bar girl friends who are dropping off left, right and centre as a result of 'diet pills and whisky' (more likely ya-ba - "fat girl wants to be sexy lady", but best of all, the psychology of "farang no like lady thai - lady thai work in the bar." Whilst my heart genuinely went out to this poor girl, who was obviously in a pretty bad way, I didn't have the time, resources or inclination to attempt a 'clean up' of the streets of Pattaya and try to save the bar girls from the raptures of bondage, at the rate of 1000baht per girl per night, starting with the one in my room. This sounds heartless, but all things considered, this was my holiday which I had invested significant time and money, and which I was keen to enjoy it.

I produced another 1000 baht on the condition that she leave strait away (it was nothing less than extortion, but I'll part with 1000 for some piece of mind). By this time, she informed me, I had also accrued a barfine, because she was due to start work at 4.00.

Then it became an outright standoff, me on one side of the bed, reclined and sipping a whisky and soda, and her on the other watching me drink it - just looking each other down - her alternating between puppy dog eyes, the 'why me' look and the 'you fucking asshole' look; me with one expression - the poker face. The fact that I had a drink in my hand which I was slowly sipping was designed to give the impression that I had all the time in the world, and that she would not win this standoff on patience alone.

I told her I had to meet my friend - I had to check my email to see where to meet him. The bullshit detector went off throughout the hotel. She went with me and sat next to me whilst I checked my email. We went for food which she ordered but didn't eat - I wasn't going to let this bitch starve me out, but I could use her consumption of the meal for a few guilt points ie 'I'm trying to do the right thing by you here'

Meanwhile, I was racking my brain for the solution. By this time, the occasional sly remark I was copping had accelerated to out and out abuse. She was fond of "I think you yellowman" (still haven't worked out what this means - anyone? Often when they say German it sounds like yellowman and she told me about some German asshole she knew.) The way she said this, it was as if she was expecting a big reaction, so it was obviously intended to be something quite offensive. I also copped a fair bit of abuse in Thai, which I didn't understand, and so I responded with a bit of fast and mumbled English so she couldn't understand, except for the succession of f words.

No solution so far, so it was back to the hotel room - it felt like the calm before the storm. I considered several times just tolerating it -just let her sleep the night, in the morning she'd be gone (as promised for whatever that promise was worth). But then I just thought I'll be stuffed if I'm going to be taken hostage by a fucking bar girl, and pay for the service no less. I also considered that she was a prime candidate for fleecing me whilst I slept.

I tried an angry approah to scare her off. I kicked the bed and raised my voice and did a bit of screaming and carrying on of my own. The response 'I know you so ankee now -you boxing me, please boxing me' ie she was pleading with me to have a go at her.

Then I found the achilles, and said I thought we should go down to her bar to discuss the problems she had been outlining to me with the papasan. That was when I new I had her. Her attitude changed from aggressive to submissive, she actually dropped to ground and started clutching at my ankles. So I went with it.

She took her fucking time getting her stuff together, still pleading and sulking and crying. By now it was about 8pm ie it had been a 5 hour negotiation - and a fine way to spend my holiday in paradise. I went for the door, but I didn't really want to leave this nutcase in my room lest she fleece me for all I was worth. On my way out the door she grabbed me, pleading with me not to go. I just shook her off, and so she feigned a dislocated finger. The stress had been building up and I thought "Now I'm really fucked, she is going to show her finger to someone with a big bullshit story and I'm not going to make it out of Pattaya -she knows where I live after all."

I eventually opened the door, and locked it open - there were people in the hall which I really needed as wintesses at this stage.

I counted the 200 for the bar fine and put it on the table in the lobby as if to say "come and get it."

So I watched her pack her stuff and get the fuck out - I escorted her to the lobby of the hotel and on to the street outside. She told me to give her the thousand, because she needed to see the doctor to get her finger fixed - I gave her 500 for good measure, lest someone should accuse me of not paying her. The response I got from my 500 was "fuck off" and a tyrade of abuse in Thai.

I told the door man not to let her back in, just in case he had failed to witness the fucking ugly scene on the street outside - not many others in the vicinity missed out.

I then hid in my room like a fucking pussy till morning came at which time I got my ass out of Pattaya as quick as possible.

A question for the Pattaya veterans - what sort of recouse do bargirls have? I know a bar owner who told me there is an active mafia around Samui who will sort out these sort of problems ie guys beating up on girls or not paying. I've heard stories about farangs going missing in Pattaya as a frequent occurence and without the police blinking an eyelid. I am also aware that if the price is right, you can have a 'hit' of sorts put on someone. I also know that Thais will 9 times out of 10 stick together. However, this is a cheap bar slut, who would have little credibility. Regardless, I am a foreigner in their land, and I don't want to fuck around with stuff that I don't know about.

It took me five hours to work out, but its good advice for anyone who has a similar problem in the future - go to the bar as the first recourse. It may cause the girl to lose face, but they have to be responsible for their own fucked up behaviour - I'm certainly not going to wear their shit in order to save their face.

I've got to say that the whole experience made me a little uneasy about the whole bar experience. I think there is an element of truth in the commentry that suggests these women are 'slaves' of sorts. It is a typical Thai trait to hide their emotions, and whilst it is all smiles in the bar, I have had a few D and Ms with the odd bar girl, and as a generalisation they mostly just long to be back with their families.

That's why it really gives me the shits when people on this board go on about how much the girl is enjoying themself. Wake up fuckers, its not fucking enjoyable to sell your pussy in a bar 365 days a year.

I am as guilty as the next guy for partaking in the pleasures of the bar scene, I've been back since this incident and I'll go back again. But for fucks sake, lets see it as it is.

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Those touts in Pattaya with the cigarettes. Funny guys. I was wondering the whole trip why they were selling just one pack of each brand. I was like "how the hell do they make money doing that"? Then one guy followed me and I had a feeling he had more than cigarettes. Its just one of those "feelings" you get when you have grown up in the city. I turned an alley with him and he showed me some of the lowest grade I have ever witnessed in my life. I smelled a packet and looked at him as if to say "now you have GOT to be kidding" I got out of there and was kind of suprised I even thought of taking a look just to see what they had out there. I never thought about smoking the whole trip. Well, not that kind of smoking! smile.gif" border="0 I had to see what he was talking though. Risky I know... As for the female situation I never had to deal with that though I am still a rookie. Hopefully I will see the signs at first and never deal with her again once I get her out of the room. As a rule with any woman once she shows her true colors you should make a decision on her immediately. I usually send em packin.


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