bkk chronicles 01

[Guest]

Well guys, I arrived home from LOS yesterday. It has been one hell of a trip filled with great memories. First and foremost, I'd like to give my deepest thanks to Ranger and G. They've been amazingly patient and enthusiastic while tagging along with them. I'm sure I'd have "screwed" up far worse than what will be seen in my upcoming reports. Also having fellow americans as a "sounding board" was extremely reassuring. Thanks guys!

arrival

11 hours from SFO to Tokyo. 2 hours layover. 6 and a half hours from Tokyo to BKK. no sleep. This has got to be hell. Worse yet, I couldn't get any sleep the nite before due to my anticipation. Mental note: get sleeping aid for next bkk trip.

I arrive bangkok around 11:45pm. Remembering posts on getting a taxi at the airport, I head to the departures drop off. I hail a cabby that just dropped someone, get in, then said, "sukumvit nana, meter." The driver nodded then clicked on the meter. No promblems, so it seemed. Five minutes into the ride, the driver starts talking to me in thai. I got the impression that he wanted to bargain the trip for 600baht! I was thinking, WTF! By this time, we were in a poorly lit neighborhood and raining cats and dogs. I managed to bargain the SOB down to 400bt.

noob hint*: be firm. threaten to walk away or just do it until you get what you want.

Obviously, I didn't follow my advice. I was too tired, too chicken shit, and too FOB in BKK to grow some balls. Now I know, taxis in bangkok are everywhere. You can always get out and flag another one. The SOB driver dropped me off around the grace hotel. Hell I didn't realize it until he left. It took me a minute to figure out the way to majestic.

I check in at the hotel, shower, and decided to rest the first nite. I was exhausted. Problem was, I was too exhausted. I know this sounds retarded, but anyone ever been so tired they were unable to sleep? It felt like that. I look over at the clock, 1am. I dress and head to nana plaza. First words, HOLY SHIT! The sight and sounds were overwhelming. Walking through the beer bars, BGs were yelling and grabbing at me. I was spinning. I see a neon sign to my right, it's PLAYSKOOL. I head in to escape the barrage of noise.

A welcome girl shows me to a seat near the front. I look at the stage and mumbled, "WTF!" There was this fat drunk japanese guy in his underwear dancing along with the girls. I look over the girls, mostly 6's and 7's. The stunners must've been all barfined I think. I eye a petite girl, she's a 7. I buy the girl a drink and say, "you go with me longtime tonite?" Girl(lets call her noi01) says 2000baht. I was way too tired to bargain her down. I say ok and she heads off to change. In and out within 10 minutes. Not a good sign.

noob hint*: take your time choosing a girl. see how she reacts to you in the bar. if she's cold in there, she'll probably be cold in the room.

On the way to the hotel, a bad omen appeared. She stopped in front of the clothing stall and began to look thru the jeans and such. I stand there like a moron going WTF for about 3 minutes. I guess she got the hint and we made our way. We shower and began the session. Wow, this girl was amazing. We did some pretty funky positions, some I've never done before. She was nimble as a gymnast. We were also confined in closed quarters.(I chose the small closet room at majestic ) We were at it for about 1 and half hours and I just couldn't "finish". I was probably jetlagged to hell and my body was shot. I tell her to "smoke". That's the only sure fire method of me finishing. Noi01 then says, "I no like smoke." WTF WTF WTF!!! Somehow at some time, she said she'd smoke for 1000baht more! I said no and said 500baht. I just wanted to finish!!! She agreed and proceeded. DAMN! For a girl who doesn't like to smoke, she's pretty good at it. So good that I umm err forgot to tell her I was finishing. Needless to say, she didn't take this too grand. Once my boys were all out, she immediately sits up and spits it back to me! She then races for the bathroom where she spent the next 1 hour(no BS!) Washing, spitting, gargling, and mumbling in thai with a kinda pissed off tone.

Hmmn, I'm thinking that I just wanted to get some rest and didn't want to have a pissed off girl next to me while sleeping. I decide to tell her I'd give her 2500baht but wanted only shortime. I thought that'd ease everything up. wrong. For the next half hour, she lays out the guilt trip, "why you no like me", "I no good" Christ, I just wanted to get some rest. I say no no, it's me, I need sleep and I can't sleep well with someone I don't really know. She finally leaves at 5am. Thank god, I finally get some sleep.

My apologies for this report being so long and at times rambling. Hopefully I'll get the knack at writing these up in my upcoming reports. Most of my "rookie" fuck ups were my fault. I knew at times I was getting screwed but was too tired or too chickenshit to stand my ground. I did gradually get better at it through my trip though. My biggest problem? Communication. I definitely have to learn/study thai alot more before my next trip, which unfortunately will be awhile. I thank the board for the great info I did get. I'm sure I would've been exponentially more lost than I already was.

[Ranger]

Tyler,

I am sure the rest of your posts will be of great service to all newbies as you pretty much did everything wrong Actually, your first night in BKK almost mirrors my first night in BKK. I also barfined the first girl that I met, also in Playskool! I had a little better luck in the room, though Can't wait for the rest of your reports, especially the one on our Pattaya trip. I can't believe all the bad luck with the ladies you had on that trip!

Ranger

[Guest]

Nice ( honest) report.

just remember, although it could have been better, it could have also been much, much worse.

I am sure by the time you left los you were well on your way to being a pro. ( and planning your next trip).

[Guest]

ranger you old dog! when you getting back to the kingdom? hope all is well.

Seriously guys, even with the countless noob mistakes and bad luck I've had, my time in the kingdom has been one of the best experiences of my life. Ranger, remember how I kept saying, "this trip to bkk is a one-shot deal. I'll be content with this one trip." Sigh, what a self-deluded moron I've been. During my time there, I really think I took my time there for granted. For the past 2 days I've been back, I'm having serious bkk withdrawals. I'm reviewing my schedule, frantically searching for time off to revisit the kingdom. I'd go through my arrival ordeal ten-folds just to be back.

What you will see in my upcoming reports is the gradual process of me adapting to bkk life. Towards the end of my trip, that's when it got really good, too good infact. This is why my past days have been so... empty.

To all whom are deciding on visiting the kingdom. Be warned. The experience will change your worldview and countless other personal ideals. I'm not at a point where I'm making illogical decisions to permanently move there, but I am heavily contemplating spending a year or couple of them. I'm sooooo fucked.

[Old Hippie]

Tyler,

you seemed to be doing o.k. when we spoke at breakfast! If you are having severe withdrawl, as I am, give me a call, I brought back Mekong, Sang Som, and sigha!! I got pictures, and Thai seasonings, we'll get drunk and delude ourselves into thinking we are still there!! Welcome home!! (but sorry it had to end).

[ZMAN Z28]

Yep I hear you guys. There are probably only a few things worse the coming back home from LOS. Parents or the dog dying. I usually get pretty bummed out a day or 2 before I have to go home. The ONLY cure is a brand new set of plane tickets to Bangkok.

ZMAN Z28

7.5 days and a wake up :-)

[Guest]

Planning the next time ( most of the time it starts on the plane ride back to the everyday world) seems to get me by.

Actually having the tickets in hand is almost orgasmic!

19 days to touchdown ( more or less)

but I count down to the time I actually get on the first flight.

 

ZMAN Z28 : how long will you be in los?

[Guest]

Old hippie,

I read most of what you have posted on this board, and agree with most of what you say. You have now said something I can't accept. I don't even think that "UPSer" on one of his big brown planes could bring back enought Mekong to delude me into thinking I was back in the LOS.

However I do agree with "pasathai" that having a return ticket in hand is about as good as it gets HERE.

tyler,

I made a few of the same mistakes on my first trip a few weeks ago. I feel the same way as you do. I don't think any amount of errors or a little bad luck could make this a bad trip.

LeoTex

[Old Hippie]

Leo Tex,

That is the problem, I have consumed so much Mekong, that I actually believe I can delude myself...? As for UPSer and his big brown planes, I say we get him to fill one up with bar girls and Mekong and bring it here! As for first time mistakes, we all make them, if we were honest about it, we all probably screw up on subsequent trips as well! I agree, it is no reason to fret, or let it ruin an otherwise great time!! Welcome back!