Jump to content

bkk chronicles 06 ( the pattaya excursion )


Recommended Posts

Pattaya, a mixed bag of sorts

day one

Ranger got back from his weeklong "quality time" with his GF and he was quite horny! Ranger, G, and I all meet up at the majestic lobby. We decide it is time for the pattaya excursion. We find a cab willing to take us to pattaya. Ranger did all the negotiations and I was glad, I was pooped. We stop by ranger's apartment so he can grab his things. We go up and meet his GF, cute little thing. He's got a fairly nice apartment to boot. He gets his stuff and we're off!

The cab ride there was fine. I think about 3 hours or so. We check into sabaii inn and freshen up. We meet up and take a songtaew(sp?) to ranger's favorite soi, soi yodsak. We met up with ranger's friend, S who seemed to be a spunky old codger. A nice fellow indeed. Ranger wanted to take out his miss 175 but she was on the rag. frown.gif" border="0 She was really cute and I could understand how she'd get so much business in one month, owwy tho. Ranger, G, S, and I take a songtaew to soi pattayaland. We went into Rodeo and this place was small! I mean it was basically a hallway with tables on the rightside. We didn't spend alot of time there so we headed for planet rock. There was actually some cuties in this go-go, generally 6's and 7's but some 8's! Two of them actually. Thing is, they were kinda pushy or up front. Let me explain. While they were on stage, these two 8's would make motions enacting fellatio or as if ramming a humongous dildo between their legs. I smiled a bit. I thought to myself, hmmn, possibly a tad too up front for me. Later in the pattaya trip though, I searched for these two, nowhere to be found. frown.gif" border="0 I figured if they were bold enough to enact that onstage, they'd surely reciprocate in the bedroom. Oh well. G bought one cuty a drink but she was pretty much a cold fish. We decide to head to walking street.

S had barfined a girl at frozen and we went off to dinner at the seafood place in walking street. Hmmn, you sure those were lobsters ranger? They looked kinda flat for a lobster. It was good nonetheless. We shoot the shit with S at the outdoor resteraunt. S is in-the-know on jewelry and watches so G was showing him his recent purchases. The bottom line was, if you gonna buy a rolex, buy a copy. It's just not worth the money to buy genuine rolex's. From what I gathered, they aren't the best time keepers and you're mostly paying the price for the brand name. Cool, I got me a tag-heuer and an automatic rolex yahtmaster copies in BKK afterwards. Good buys imo.

OMFG! Cleopatra lives in Pattaya?!!!!

After a fulfilling dinner, we head to the famous dollhouse. We grab several seats and then BLAMMO! HOLY MOTHER OF.... I lay eyes on the most desirable creature in all go-go bars. No. 72. Ok, I got a hard on writing this at the moment. She IS the epitome of what anyone would call a stunner. No doubt here, no eyes of the beholder bullcrap. An absolutely gorgeous creature. And she knows it too, by her mannerisms. This girl commandingly wisps to and fro on the stage. G and I's jaw's are on the fucking ground and I needed an industrial hoover to clean up the saliva that's being produced. Well, G immediately attempts to buy her a drink and bring her over. No. 72 laughingly tells the waitress, "tell him to pay bar!". LOL, what audacity, arrogance, and confidence. Ranger then quickly tells us this girl commands 2000baht SHORT TIME and gets it, no questions. Hell, I was thinking irrationally at the moment and if she asked me to pay it point blank, I'd have given it to her and more for any possible chances at LT! No 72 does come over for the drink, for 2 minutes! It seems that there was some sort of photoshoot outside the dollhouse. No 72 and miss dance contest(whom was a wicked cuty as well) were darting in and out of the club. Well, we waited a bit for no 72 to return, to no avail....

Hmmn, since ranger pretty much covered the goings on of when we're all together, I'll write about the time I was off on my own.

Ranger, his 3-holer he found from the beer bar, and I arrive at sabaii inn. I quickly go up to my room and freshen up and head back out to the beer bars surrounding our hotel. I look around and it was noisy as hell. Each beer bar was blasting whatever crap music they had and they were all lined up one after the other. I settle onto one that wasn't very populated and find out I was the sole customer! Ok.... Well, now I was getting the same fluff talk from 5 girls. What's your name? Where you from? Once again... America? You no Nippon?. With frustration, I say no no, I'm american. I spot this cute girl to my right. She's been fairly quiet the whole time. Throughout this, I haven't bought any of the girls any drinks. I tell the girl(screw the lek and noi's, lets call this one suzy. I'm forgetting the numbers anyhoo) I'll buy her drink. She claps and the other girls wooooo and tease her for getting my attention. I make some small talk with her, it was so-so. Then all the lights go off. It's 2am. I say, you close now? They said, "no, we turn off lights and music. If we have customer, we open." That seemed to be the case since none of the beer bars were shooing away their customers. I pay the barfine and we're off. We get to the hotel and start kissing. Ok, for the first time in the kingdom, this girl was immemorable. Not bad, but not that great neither. We had decent sex, but it was extremely ordinary. Oh well, I pay the girl 500baht and goto sleep.

day two

Ranger, G, and I meet up at the lobby at noon. We head to big C where there's this thai resteraunt and have brunch. We had a traditional massage and then we all went our separate ways. We'd meet up for dinner then go out afterwards. G and I decide to hit the beer bars along the beach. We decide somehow on one of them and sit down. I see this relatively cute girl, about a 6 and she sits next to me. Her friend sits next to G. I talk to this girl and find out that she's 30 something! Whoa! I really couldn't tell. I thought at most 25. Anyways, we have good conversation and I get her mobile number. I tell her that I'd call her later on that nite. For some reason, there were street merchants coming up to G frequently. G then made the error in striking up a conversation with the watch merchant and he told him about how he acquired his rolex in bangkok. Big mistake G! tongue.gif" border="0 Well this guy kept coming back and back showing G his wares. I think G ended up buy a breitling copy, I'm not sure. They finally left him alone. G wanted to talk to his girl a while longer so I head back to the hotel. I tell the girl again I'd call her later that nite. At that moment, I was just BSing. I was hoping on finding a stunner that'd stay LT for that nite.

The 3 of us meet up and head to vientienne for an excellent dinner. We then check out dollhouse for G, in hopes of barfining no. 72. She was nowhere to be seen. We then headed to I don't know where exactly when we got pulled off the street by some girls. We were rushed into a small cozy go-go. Surprisingly, G finds a girl here that he's seen before. Ranger had this real cutie, about a 8 or 9, next him and G his familiar. The mamasan was pestering me so I spot a cute little thing with pigtails(mmm, naughty naughy tongue.gif" border="0 ) I say I buy her a drink. She comes over and is immediately lodged to me. Good sign! Each of us barfine a girl from that club.

possible mistake #1: the 3 of us barfining girls from the same bar

The 6 of us decide to shoot some pool and head to a billiards place. The girls ordered some pizza and my girl got an ice cream. Hmmn, she likes dairy huh tongue.gif" border="0 We play teams and my girl and I kick all their butts! Several times! Hehe, actually it was all luck. We were just good together. When she screwed up, I'd follow up. When I screwed up, she'd follow up. Good mix. G and his girl head for the hotel first since he's leaving early next morning. Me and ranger play some 9 ball and then head back to the hotel.

Arghhh, why dammit why?!!! frown.gif" border="0

My girl was relatively quiet and extremely cute. She was petite, about 5'3" and proportioned spectacularily. We shower and begin. OMG, this girl was transformed into this sexpot. For the next hour and half we engulfed each other. She did everything I asked, smoke sans condom, without hesitation. I reciprocated and she nearly tore my fucking head off with her legs when she came. She then mounts me and feverishly grinds and bumps up and down. No this was not painful in the least. Usually girls go nuts and grind your pelvis away. This girl was proficient to say the least. I finally come and we're both extremely exhausted. There's this big fucking wet spot from the sweat we produced so I nudge her away from it. The beds in sabaii in are huge! Problem is that they're rock hard. I go to take a shower and come back to see her snoozing away. I smile. I pull up her covers and I light up a cigg.

phone rings

Hmmn, I wonder who this could be. A female voice said, "can i talk to my ladyfriend?" Hmmn, mebbe she needed a condom or something I thought. I softly wake, lets call her mary, and tell her it's her friend. They get into an in-depth conversation for about 5 minutes and I'm wondering what's up. Then she turns to me and says, "how much you pay me if I stay longtime." GAH! illusion has dropped. I motion with my fingers a 1 and a 5, 1500 baht. Then she asks, "how much you pay if I stay short?" I motion a 1. This is the beginning of the end. She clicks the phone off and tells me she has to go. Hmmn, I probably could've told her I'd give her 2000baht to stay LT but the damage was done. I felt disgusted. The phone rings again and they pow wow once again, this happens one more time afterwards. I hand mary 1500baht and silently she opens the door where ranger's girl is waiting. They noisily run off like bandits. FUCK! Arguably, the best fuck I've had in LOS just left over 500 lousy baht. Sure I would've paid it if we discussed it prior to our coupling, but after it seemed the closeness was all for naught. I felt like a fucking ATM.

I tell myself fuck this, I'm calling the beer bar girl and fuck the lights outta her! I call her and she arrives in 15 minutes. We immediately get into it. Problem. I'm still preoccupied by the earlier fiasco. I can't stay hard. She realizes this and just hugs me. She says, "you had lady tonite?" Hehe, the big wet spot was a dead give-away I guess. I say yes. She nods and stays for a bit. After 30mins of watching the news, I tell her she should probably get home. I hand her 500baht and she goes off. Hmmn, mixed bag indeed tonite. Great sex that ended horribly. Another cute girl but was with bad results. There's always tomorrow....

day three

Ranger, G and I met up at noon and headed to Big C for brunch again. We discussed what happened the prior nite and basically said fuck it. Was just a bad idea for 3 guys staying at the same hotel taking 3 girls from the same go-go. They're invincible in packs. We say our goodbyes to G and ranger and I head to yodsak. Ranger wanted to check on miss 175 but we were a bit early so we ducked into king kong. Yodsak was relatively dead at that time. All the girls were out on the streets and we were the only customers walking. A girl sits next to me and starts diddling me a bit! blush.gif" border="0 I get into it and decide I'd try out the talents of yodsak smoking. Ranger goes of to see 175 and I tell him I'd meet him there. Me and Julie(named after an ex whom could suck the paint off of anything) go up and get into a room. I guess before, king kong was set up with stalls where'd you get smoked while sitting. No more of that here at the time. We go shower in a seperate room. She washes me and my boy. We head back in the room and I lay back. I don't move or anything. I'm a total starfish! haha! She then proceeds to give me one of the best BJ's of my life. So good that I finish within 5 minutes. She takes it all and waits a tad, making sure all is gotten. Then she goes to the bathroom to spit, gargle, etc... Np in my book. Hell, I wouldn't want to swallow that, would you? She comes back and we chit chat for 5 more minutes. I go and take a quick wash down, change and give her 400baht I think. She thanks me and I head to miss 175's bar. Ranger looks surprised and says, "you're done already?" I laugh and say, she was very skilled. Ranger is entangled with some kinda fooked up love triangle(BAD BOY RANGER!) but seemed to get it fixed.

Ranger barfines 175 and we head back to the hotel.

Ranger, miss 175, and I met up at the lobby at about 6. We head to this outdoor steak place. It was pretty good. The steak wasn't too bad at all. Kinda tough but no complaints. Afterwards, we head to walking street to find me a woman dammit! We fruitlessly go thru go-gos to no avail. Finally I tell ranger I'm gonna check out happy a-go-go. This place was off limits for him so we parted ways. If I found someone early enough, I was to meet them at tony's. That never happened. I goto happy and there is a handful of fine cuties. Several of them danced really well. I usually am a sucker for a great dancer, I figure if they can dance that well, they could perform exceptionally in the bedroom. I spot this one bold cuty with long hair and a tattoo on her belly button. She was dancing pretty actively and even started grinding with another girl. Hmmn, mebbe I'll get her. Then I see this super cute girl. She's kinda shy but she danced very very well. I decide to buy her a drink. She comes over and is kinda pleasant. I'm thinking this is gonna be the one for tonite. I tell her I pay bar and say LT. She pauses awhile and walks off. Then the mamasan comes on over! {WTF is going on! This is the first time where I had a mamasan get involved. I shoulda taken this as a bad sign and left, but stupid me, I negotiated) Anyways, the mamasan starts off with, "LT 2500" I shaked my head and said no, 2000baht. Dammit, I should've said 1500 baht. I was thinking in bangkok terms. Oh well, I can't detract it. Mamasan agrees and the girl(lucy) goes off to change. She comes back dressed as a teenager. Hmmn, I ask her how old she was, and she said 22. Ok I guess... We walk out of walking street when she says, "you want to ride my motorbike?" Hehe, forgot to tell ya. While in the club, she showed me this huge fucking scar on the side of her leg from a motorbike accident. I said no no emphatically and told her to get it in the morning. I tell her motorbike bad. She answers back, "motorbike goooood" giggling. We get to the hotel and we each shower. We then started slowly. She had a really cute face and I was glad. We started out on missionary. Everything was fine until after 10 minutes she looks up at me in a grimace and says, "JEP". Ummmn, huh? Ok, I'm not any kind of john holmes here. My size is average, about 4 and half to 5 inches max. I also always take the cue from the girls. If they tend to be a bit energetic, I pick up the pace. If they're quiet and soft, I follow with that again. I was in no way pounding this poor girl. She then tells me that she's only been working at the go go for 3 weeks and that I'm only the 2nd person to take her out. I don't know, but for some reason, I believed her. DAMMIT!!!!! Well I felt kinda bad so I decided to let her go home. So much for LT.... I give her 500baht and she's off. I feel frustrated.

day four

I tell ranger of my previous nite and he was stumped. He decides a soapy would wash all my troubles away. We visited 3 soapies and we decide on the third. We each grab a girl and head to the room. My girl (shirly) was about a 8 in looks. She also had a pretty tight body. Once inside the room, she asks how much I'd tip. goddammit to heck! wtf is going on!!!!! My theory is that they don't believe me when I say I'm not japanese. Maybe I'm getting some kinda japanese treatment, I'm not sure. I tell shirly 1000, she tries to get more but I stay adamant. Well, my mood is kinda smushed at this point and we haven't even begun. The water heater is fucked and when I got in the tub to wash, it was frigid. She washed me down and we quickly moved onto the soapy. Hmmn, the soapy did feel nice, but the girl was only going through the motions. She was very mechanical. It did feel good though..... We hop on the bed and began an unspiring session. It was ok, but that was it, just ok. Being in LOS, we're all a tad spoiled. That ok sex would've equalled damn good sex here in farangland. It was just too impersonal though.... Ranger had a good time with his(sigh, this guy manages to luck out) girl and supposedly set up to meet later. We once again go off on our own and set up to meet for later.

I tell ranger that I wanted to hit soi pattayaland and planet rock. I wanted to check out the "bold girls" whom pretended to enact sexual activities on stage. I figured that'd be a sure-fire way to get a good lay in this town!!!! Neither of the girls were there at planet rock. frown.gif" border="0 We head out and get pulled into bubbles. Ranger sees a girl that his friend used to see. It seems that she likes girls, yummy. I somehow manage to sit with this cutie with dimples. We talk and everything is nice. It was still early and we decide to hit walking street. I tell dimples that I'd be back for her later, I seriously meant it when I said it too..... Ranger's friend from sweden calls and they set up to meet at dollhouse. Woohoo, maybe I get a chance to see no. 72!!!!!!!! FUCK.... no. 72 is nowhere to be seen. We meet up with sweden guy and he seems to be a nice fellow. Somehow, sweden managed to get his whole fucking neck and upper torso filled with hickies. We laughed a bit and I told him he should probably button his shirt up. Ranger grabs miss dance contest and decides to take her out. I see a cute girl and decide to buy her a drink. She came over and was really warm. Hmmn, this may be the one for tonight. I can't miss with a dollhouse girl right? .... Anyhoo, I decide to take her and we're told to come back after 11 for LT. Miss dance contest then tries to look for a girl for sweden and grabs this girl and pushes her towards sweden. It was kinda funny. Obviously, they couldn't make any connection under pressure. The 3 of us head out to kill some time. We check out some so-so bars and come back to pick up our girls. Sweden still is alone, poor bastage. The 5 of us head to Xzyte. It was very loud and the show was pretty good. We ended staying till closing, which later I regret.

noob hint*: when going into the bathroom in xzyte, have 10 or 20 baht ready. fuggin guys will dogpile you and start massaging you and pampering you. Hand one of them the money immediately and they'll desist, hopefully anways. Oh and say, Mai ow.

We take a sontaew to the hotel and the girls wanted to eat. We wandered around trying to look for a place for them to eat at 2:30am. Everything was pretty much closed. We did finally manage to find a place and they were sated.

We get in my room and everything seems to be good. She is quite responsive and we fool around for awhile. Then I grab a condom and start out missionary. Again, everything seem fine.

JEP huh? WTF?! You've got to be fucking kidding me!!!!

No explanations, she just said jep. Ok, once again, I wasn't any type of jackhammer nor am I endowed massively in any means. What the hell is going on?

phone rings WTF?! Is this the fucking twilight zone?!! this again?!!!!!

It seems that miss dance contest phoned my room while ranger was in shower. My girl tells miss dance that I boom boom too hard, which ranger tells me the next day. I, at the moment am oblivious to what the hell is going on. I'm spent. I'm frustrated. I'm pissed. But I keep my calm and don't show how much I am towards the girl. I say, "ok, you can go" exhaustively. I pay her 500baht and she leaves. Not much of a word neither. Now if it was a bit earlier, I might've just gone back to soi pattayaland and grabbed miss dimples. But it was too late. My nite wasted once again..... I decide to head back to bangkok with ranger the next day. Prior to this moment, I had thoughts on staying in pattaya for two more days. I was done with the place....

Was it a total crapshoot? Hmmn, it's a toss-up. I'm not so disgusted with the events that I'd X out the option of visiting pattaya again. I figure I just had a streak of bad luck. I need to spend more time perhaps. Also, before the first phonecall when ranger, g, and I took girls out from the same bar. The sex was fantastic. Like I said, possibly the best damn sex I've had in thailand. I know that I have dreams till this day of no. 72. No matter how arrogant, her beauty is worth the risk. There's also the girl with dimples. So yes, I'd go back to pattaya in a heartbeat. Back then, it was too many bad happenings consecutively. I needed a break. I dunno what the possible noob mistakes I might've made in pattaya. It was probably more of bad luck perhaps.

[ October 24, 2001: Message edited by: tyler_durden ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 24
  • Created
  • Last Reply


I'll take part of the blame for some of the girl problems you had in Pattaya. I should have known it wasn't a good idea for all 3 of us to take girls from the same bar. I went against all my better judgement when I allowed myself to be talked into that. She was pretty damn fine though and that may have clouded my thinking laugh.gif" border="0

Hope you make it back soon and we'll try Pattaya again. You have some unfinished business at the Dollhouse wink.gif" border="0


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Tyler ;

Don't be so hard ( no pun intended ) on yourself. I'm sure next trip will be one that you can look back and laugh at this one. To put it in other terms , one week you can pick and bet 9 outta 10 football games , the next , it is 1 outta 10. Either way you had the " experience " whether good or bad , you still had the fun. Lighten up and laugh at it. Besides , your with " Ranger " the friggen Hugh Hefner of Thailand...LOL

Enjoy the reports....beleive me , anyone of us would trade the experience with you. ( except maybe the runs... shocked.gif" border="0shocked.gif" border="0



Link to comment
Share on other sites

thanks bada. my trip did end on a good note, sorta. you'll see in my next and final installment of the bkk chronicles. thing is, if my bad luck kept getting worse, it would've made coming back to the US a lot more bearable. I'm on day 5 of the bkk blues and I've got major withdrawals. I'm in the delusional phase of the "sickness", where I'm starting to make irrational thoughts on how to get back to the kingdom. wimper....

anyhoo, hope you guys enjoy, laugh, and somewhat learn from my reports. smile.gif" border="0

Link to comment
Share on other sites

great stuff! I can't wait to see how it ends! As for the BKK blues...I suggest you keep going back, until you are absolutly sick of the place, sure, it could take years, but sometimes the road to recovery is long! smile.gif" border="0

I experienced a form of "jep" as well, I kept breaking condoms with this one girl, 3 of them in one short time session. Then she said it was to big (yeah, I have see it, and know how small it really is honey), but non the less, I stopped. I also had a bleeder, who claimed it wasn't the monthy normal, and also claimed "jep" after I finished, she was ugly, but damned I really like that girl!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good reports. I cant wait for the rest. My friend Kevin had the same problems with BGs taking the lead with the interactions... Not the JEP problem but him letting the girls get away with stuff. I know others don't agree but QUANTIFY PRICE FIRST! Also I only took girls who showed interst in me first. I never looked for a stunner and when I did I noticed it was buy me drink, barfine me, or I leave post haste. Fuk dat MY rent and bills are paid... You need the baht not me. Be gone then ungrateful wench... I am not gonna let any bargirl call the shots. I am not gonna let ANY girl call the shots here or abroad for that matter. Let that happen and they start wearing the pants??? It is all down hill from there. Put the pants on with those girls tyler! After you have established "pants" then be as nice to them as you can possibly be. That was my formula for success in LOS...


[ October 24, 2001: Message edited by: mykal ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"...You need the baht not me. Be gone then ungrateful wench... I am not gonna let any bargirl call the shots. I am not gonna let ANY girl call the shots here or abroad for that matter. Let that happen and they start wearing the pants??? It is all down hill from there. Put the pants on with ..."

I couldn't agree more!!! It is refreshing to meet a like minded man. What ever happened to the days when men were respected, ruled the roost, and women kept their mouths shut and appreciated it? The world went to hell when we got "PC" and "feminized." Once you let them use the power between their legs, you are finished! That is the advantage to shopping in a buyers market, it lets you be in control, so don't let them take control, if they give you a problem in one place, then move on! if enough guys do that, then she'll get the message!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I'm wondering if anyone has encountered the problem of "jep" or the girl saying boom boom too hard. For a bit, I thought maybe this is some new form of scam. Problem with this is that the girls didn't get the full fee. They got short time fees. I dunno, maybe some girls just wanna get barfined and go home with some extra change. Two girls complaining about the same dilemna consecutively is one big coincidence... And again, I ain't john holmes, nor do I wish to be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mite try what was suggested in this forum b4 to avoid some problems. unplug the phone, unplug the tv. ( before you start plugging the girl)

If you want to get a laff, you call "jep" b4 she does.

If she thinks ( 0r thinks you think) she is the one causing some pain, probably will try her darndest to make it right.

Think of all the stuff they tell u ( that smells even a little like B.S.) and you say it first. kind of like tagg, UR IT , and no taggs back.


Kind of like the "up to you" thing, if you say it first you are in the clear.

Ahhh, the thai mind, if we ever understand it, the fun will be over...

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...