sidsanuk Posted July 20, 2001 Report Share Posted July 20, 2001 The big day is looming :-) On my next monthly trip to LOS I have been granted (nay summoned to) an audience with my GFs family. Her parents want to check me out :-) As they are a relatively poor, but 'good' family living in Bangkok, we are meeting on neutral turf. (They don't want the neighbours to see their daughter has hooked up with a farang ! :-) The gossip will start! Anyway. I was just thinking about how I should address her Mother and Father. Whilst I am the rich farang in their eyes, it is not about status. I would like to show the right degree of respect to them, due to their age and the fact that they are my GF's parents. So I guess a high wai is in order, but what should I call them? If her Mother's name was Noi, for example, I am sure calling her Khun Noi would not be appropriate. Do I call her the equivalent of 'Mrs Jones' eg using her family name, or use some other term? Any help much apprecaited. My Thai is fairly limited and her family do not speak English. But I would like to get off on the right foot, but showing the right degree of respect and using the right terms of address. Then it will be over to my GF to translate :-) Actually I'm looking forward to it. If this was a farang family, I guess I would be in for a hard time from the father. A real grilling :-) You know...what do you do...what are your prospects...what's your income. But I imagine being Thai, their parents will not try to put me on the spot with awkward questions. We shall see :-)) Any tips most welcome. Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samak Posted July 20, 2001 Report Share Posted July 20, 2001 call them as thais would respectfully call them: phee (respectfully for elder person; it actually would not matter if they are younger than you are, what happen in a lot of thai/farang relationships); but for haven sake pronounce it with a falling tone and not with a rising..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidsanuk Posted July 20, 2001 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2001 quote: Originally posted by samak: call them as thais would respectfully call them: phee (respectfully for elder person; it actually would not matter if they are younger than you are, what happen in a lot of thai/farang relationships); but for haven sake pronounce it with a falling tone and not with a rising..... :-)) What does it mean with a rising tone? Do you just use phee <F> or do you add their name. eg Phee Noi? Same for Father and Mother? Thanks Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samak Posted July 20, 2001 Report Share Posted July 20, 2001 phee with rising tone means ghost... so there is just a minor tone difference between an elder person and a ghost phee with or without first name/nickname is ok; of course if the relationship is very close, you could also call them phor/mae [ July 20, 2001: Message edited by: samak ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2001 Report Share Posted July 21, 2001 call them khun por and khun mae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 21, 2001 Report Share Posted July 21, 2001 I can second what noo6 says. The last Thai girl I was with told me to refer to her mother/father as KHUN MAE/KHUN PAW. Boo [ July 20, 2001: Message edited by: Boo Radley ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2001 Report Share Posted July 21, 2001 quote: Originally posted by sidsanuk: I was just thinking about how I should address her Mother and Father. Sid, I just consulted my thai friend on this and this is what her response amounted to... Seeing as this is your first meeting with the parents and assuming they are aware that you are in fact a 'boyfriend' and not just a friend the appropriate terms to use would be 'Khun Mae' (falling tone) and 'Khun Por' (again in falling). Later on, after further meetings Por and Mae without the 'Khun' would be suffice. If it were an introduction of just a friend the terms Lhung and Pah (as in Uncle and Aunt) would be appropriate as Khun Mae and Khun Por also would, but not ir you are definately an item together. Pee (falling tone) would only be appropriate for elder siblings of hers. Even if they are your 'nong' (your junior in age) they are still in fact HER senior brothers and sisters and you are now respectively HER equal so the rule is you must address them accordingly as she does. As for the 'wai' . A 'high' wai is not necessarily in order, but a standard first-meeting wai with equals is appropropriate, ie. fingers to nose tip. Having said all that, they will understand that you being farang are not supposed to know all the social conventions of thai but your effort no doubt will be appreciated. good luck ============================ Dan [ July 20, 2001: Message edited by: Dan ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2001 Report Share Posted July 21, 2001 I call my girlfriend's mother 'Khun Mae' and have done from the first time we met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidsanuk Posted July 21, 2001 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2001 Thanks guys. Great tips. I guess I am overly sensitive to the fact that I am the wealthy farang...even in farang circles....and they are a poor family...even in Thai circles. I want to get it right, so that they clearly understand my sincere/genuine respect for them, regardless of their socio economic status. In other words. They are my GFs folks.....they get respect. Same as anywhere. My GF is puzzled at this view and is almost embarassed at what I might think of her family. (I am an Aussie and like most Aussies am not that into 'status') I am an Ex Pom and hated that wanky class system. Having said that, my GF asked me where I wanted to have this first meeting. On neutral ground somewhere, or at her home in the 'slums' as she calls it. Easy decision. At home :-) She was delighted :-)) Thanks Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidsanuk Posted July 21, 2001 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2001 Gifts ! OK guys. Next step in my preparation for meeting my GFs parents :-) This is important stuff as we are likely to get married in due course :-) I just happened to buy a present for her Mum, before this meeting was planned. Long story. She has bad knees. I am into aromatheraphy. Bought her some oils to ease the pain. Anyway. Now that I am to meet her folks in person for the first time. I have this gift for Mom. Should I take gifts for anyone else? There is Dad, Brother (adult 28), Sister (Adult 19)and Neice (G-3) in the house. Just want to get it right. Not overdone or under done. What would a Thai BF being introduced to them do? And don't say "ask them for a loan of 5,000 Baht"...LOL Thanks Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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