zanemay Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Hello Fellows! I thought it would be fun to collect some of the better incidences of misused English seen everywhere in Thailand. I know everyone has their favorites. It is amazing how many there are and how prominently they are displayed - like on large, permanent signs! This is not meant to put down the Thai people who wrote the signs as I butcher their language every time I use it and their work is admirable compared to what mine would be with the comparable challenge. I would like contributions of battered English to be as specific as possible as to where they were taken from. Here are examples: Sign in real estate office window, Soi 13, Pattaya "House for Rent, 15,000 baht/mount" Same window: "House for Sale, S. Pattaya, 2 Story, 2 Bad Room, 2 Bathroom" Sign inside of elevator at Yensabai Condo, Pattaya: "Please Don't Play the Elevator" Please send along some of your favorites. Sanuk dee. Zane May [ August 27, 2001: Message edited by: Zane May ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummigut Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Hmmm, How about the side of a water bottle that says the water has been "ultra-violated." To bad I already drank the water when I read this statement. <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 This one is in the stairway of the Bambo apt soi vc (Not to be noisy) R.R. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanemay Posted August 28, 2001 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 gummigut That's a really good one! You wouldn't have the specific name of the water, would you? Thanks, Zane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 English Test Cricket Team Sorry, couldn't help myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 quote: Originally posted by Zane May: Sign in real estate office window, Soi 13, Pattaya "House for Rent, 15,000 baht/mount" Same window: "House for Sale, S. Pattaya, 2 Story, 2 Bad Room, 2 Bathroom" Sign inside of elevator at Yensabai Condo, Pattaya: "Please Don't Play the Elevator" Please send along some of your favorites. My favorites are: Chiang Mai airport: Flight TG970 will be unavoidable Ekhamai bus station: Toilet is back Roland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 For one big laugh.....check out this site http://www.engrish.com Mostly Japanese stuff. The readers submissions are the funniest. Japanese are a queer bunch when it comes to english advertising slogans... here are some excerpts: - A snack shop in Kamakura that we came across accidentally said in big letters, "We serve people with tasty things." - On a beer pitcher in Pusan, South Korea: Draft The Clean Beer Beer produced newly Beer comes in the mouth, And love comes in at the eye, That's is all we shall know for truth Before we grow old and die. I hit the glass to my mouth, I look at you and I sigh. CROWN ----------------------------------------- ELTON BYINGTON WRITES: Here's an example, from the manual for a Toho Denki (Matsushita) facsimile transmitter for Wirephotos, which has stuck with me for almost 30 years: "Care must be exorcised when handring Opiticar System as it is apts to be sticked by dusts and hand-fat." Translation: "Keep your fingers off the lens." ---------------------------------------- Submitted 9/23/99 LENISE CAMACHO WRITES: A while ago, someone told me about a Japanese-made iron (I can't really remember the brand) that had in the instructions, "Not to be used for the other use." See, now if they hadn't MENTIONED it, I wouldn't have tried to use it for the other use in the first place. Also, when I visited Kagoshima this summer, I saw a boy (probably around 12 or so) wearing a shirt depicting a male and female having anal sex with the caption "No Fucking." At least we know he's making good use of the "No Means No!" approach. ------------------------------------ Submitted 9/23/99 JOHN HAMMILL WRITES: I was in Bangkok, Thailand one day when I saw a beautiful young woman wearing a T-shirt that read "I trusted the government, now my dick glows in the dark" I asked her if she read or spoke English, she said no. I didn't have the heart to tell her what she was wearing. ------------------------------------------ Submitted 9/23/99 JAYBERD WRITES: I noticed you had "three michelle gun elephant" on your site. Here are other names of actual Japanese-noisepunk bands: Sound Masturbation Bathtub Shitters Flying Testicle and best of all Goddamn Motherfuck Shitass Bitches Thank God my parents forced me to take English from an American. ------------------------------------ At a supermarket with two doors at Azabu Juban 25 years ago. Door No. 1: "Entrance". Door No. 2: "Exitrance". --------------------------------------- Hotel Rules, Japanese-Style: "Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited." --sign displayed in a Japanese hotel ---------------------------------- some instructions: 1. On a shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. 2. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. 3. On a kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. ------------------------------------- Gotta love the English language don't we. To think I'm teaching in Thailand. I really should be in Japan I think. cheers and enjoy, I will now make my exitrance . LOL =================================== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanemay Posted August 29, 2001 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 I'm so glad I started this topic. Keep them coming!! Zane May Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhordPhan Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 Here's a good one. My wife sent off for some of those sticker-thingys that you put on the back of your cell phone to improve the reception (BTW, she swears they work great). Herewith are the Engrish instructions, complete with actual typos: EOUTPMENT INSTALLATION 1. Please make sure the area for pasting antenna or battery of the cellular phone all finger prints and dust must be cleaned, and it must be in dry condition. 2. Please be careful when peeling the antenna off with its sticker. Make sure the proper ploce when pasting because the antenna sticker is not reusable. 3. During transmission, be closed to cellular phone antenna or bat-tery area. Do not cross the cellular phone and the battery area please make sure "UP SIDE" is facing up. After antenna and sticker has been pasted to gether , use the sticker paper and press property. 4. The product can be used after making sure that the antenna has been pasted completely and property. PhordPhan "Be careful whose property you're pressing" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 Phord Phan, ..... now can we have the translation???????? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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