soongmak Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 CBK, I don't have any advice to offer, but I feel for you, man. I also admire your guts to bring it out and discuss it on the board. I hope your wife will come to her senses soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 check_bin_krap said:The problem with treatment here, is that her Norwegian isn't quite up to it yet. Thats why I have leaned to the Viet trip idea. I don't fear that she will gamble on something else. Weirdly enough, this is only connected to slot machines. Gambling is no different to any other addiction. A person will only do something to help themselves once they are backed into a corner or hit a rock bottom. Unfortunately nothing you do will change her behaviour. It is something she will have to do herself in her own time in her own way. You can however take care of your own needs and find your own support on how to survive this yourself. http://www.gam-anon.org. Good luck to you and your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPike Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 Jasmine wrote: The gamblers will find a way to get money, I am not saying that in will happen in CBK's case. Most of Asian women do gamble and many of them turn into certain activities to get money to support them. I think the reason I never gamble is because of my attitude towards gambling. "Most Asian women gamble? Are you sure about this? Based on what study? A little fast and loose with the stats aren't we. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 Sorry to hear that CBK. Have no advice to give but agree with those saying that _ she _ is the one that has to decide to stop. You can only help in getting her to realize what she is up against and what to do and then be there when she deside to stop. You say Norway is not up to hte problem, have you called the helpnumbers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Moth Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 "I can't be married to a gambling addict and live with that problem. " I don't mean to seem harsh or uncaring, but, from my personal experience with a father who was addicted to gambling, I would say that you need to be prepared to do as you said. That is, you need to be prepared to walk away. A gambling addiction can be so strong that the gambler will destroy the lives of those the gambler loves in order to feed the addiction. Often the loved ones must eventually remove themselves from the addicted gambler. When to do this and how much loss to suffer first is up to the loved ones. Don't wait too long before you distance yourself from your wife. It doesn't always end this way but often it does. I hope somehow you won't have to suffer this fate but be prepared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 CaptainPike said:Jasmine wrote: "Most Asian women gamble? Are you sure about this? Based on what study? A little fast and loose with the stats aren't we. Many do gamble from what I can see. Or neighbour (female) organises card playing nights severall times/week. They play for small money. Other woman of the village arrive around 8pm, they split up in the early morning, 4-5am. My gf attended a few times, she took just 100 baht with her, affraid she would lose al of it, she would play for an hour or two and come home rather upset, feeling sick of the smoke in there and upset because of the alcohol drinking of the other women. She always came back home with a handfull of 20 baht bills, winning each time, but she will never return playing cards, luckily......losing 20 baht would make her sick for a week and she feels she steals money from the other women. Twice a year we visit the parents village, and oh loh, when the illegal bookmakers walk around the village sunday morning, they do excellent business. They sell numbers at 8 houses out of ten. When once in a while someone gets the right 3 digits you can expect a party to be organised....very sad indeed. A farang living a few km from here is in deep trouble with his dulcine, rumours are she gambled severall 100k bahts. I know he went to visit her parents threatening them to give her back. He must have locked her-up, I don't see her around any more. CBK, all the best to get out of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 [color:"blue"] "Most Asian women gamble? Are you sure about this? Based on what study? A little fast and loose with the stats aren't we. [/color] And I do need to present my study to back up what I said? Loose and fast, not in your life! Every 10 Asians I have met, 6-7 gamble one way or others. This is only the ones I met in the USA and Europe. In Thailand, children start the gambling game since they learn how to count. It is a common knowledge that even the poor children who take care of buffalos pass time with little gambling game. Pool halls are played with bets. In funerals, people literally chase the monks out so they can spread the dice games, how many funerals, weddings have you ever attended in Thailand any way? Have you ever visited the Thai parties in the States or Europe, in a house? What do you think they do after food? It is the card games, if you are not aware of it! What do you think they play the game for fun or just betting at least $5 is for fun for you? Have you ever been in the situation of bailing out a Thai for gambling in a wrong place in the States or Europe? I have and many times, sadly. Have you ever been in a situation when a Thai woman came crying to ask for money when she just spent her last grocery money on gambling? I have. I am not going to present you with any study to fullfill your scientific mind, no time for that. You have the right NOT to believe, ok? Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 [color:"red"] A gambling addiction can be so strong that the gambler will destroy the lives of those the gambler loves in order to feed the addiction. [/color] I posted that my father who was a policeman, educated in England gambled most of his inherited assets away. I remember most of the incident when he left home in a car, gone over night and rode a bicycle back. Never forget such thing and my mind is shut from learnign any card games or any gambling, my brother is the same way. But my nephew who is 21 is gambling My father who loved us so much gambled most of his assets away. He asked my mother to hide things such as jewelry, gold from him, he stopped when he was 39 for I was getting into HS, knowing that he had to send me to college. I remember him crying many times for such habits. My father used to take me to gamble houses and I was the one who dragged him home. I promised myself that I will NEVER fall for a gambler, and fate has been kind. In my town, in WV, there is a casino, go there and you will find Asians, many Thais who can stay up and forget anything. It is a disease that ruins lives worse than anything!IMO of course. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPike Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Jasmine wrote: Have you ever been in the situation of bailing out a Thai for gambling in a wrong place in the States or Europe? I have and many times, sadly. Have you ever been in a situation when a Thai woman came crying to ask for money when she just spent her last grocery money on gambling? I have. None of my friends have any serious gambling problems. Or drug addictions, or alcoholism. You have to find yourself a higher class of friends. Because 6 or 7 out of 10 of your friends gamble means 60 or 70% of Thais or Asians gamble? I wouldn't bet on it. Doh And Check_bin, your wife pissing your cash away on those slot machines: she is in effect stealing from your son's college education fund. How very tragic. [color:"blue"] [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted November 17, 2005 Report Share Posted November 17, 2005 Good luck mate, you'll work it out, I know this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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