Zaad Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 Damn CBK, That's bad bad news. Especially the she-steals-from-my-wallet-when-she-has-the-chance part. Try to convince her that the money is sorely needed for the kid's future. And perhaps (in a very subtle way) that she isn't exactly giving the perfect example to her kid and needless to say that could be disastrous. Anyway..GOODLUCK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorro Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 I hate to pour more doom into the discussion but gambling addiction is much worse than heroin or cocaine and much harder to cure if it ever can be cured. If it is only the slots i think that getting her away is the only viable option. Some people are only addicted to the slots so other gambling isn't a big problem. There are lots of strategies like stopping the money flow by only letting a person have a very limited amount of cash and no access to ATMs and credit cards etc. but a committed gambler will get the bug and find a way to get the cash no matter what safeguards are put in place. Unfortunatley most gamblers don' t seem to get cured no matter what is done or what therapy is involved. I went to gamblers anonymous many years ago and the stories there would make your heart weap ....really some of the saddest tales i have ever heard in my life .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 CBK Sorry state of affairs, The downside of any addiction is the fact the addict is affecting those close to them without realising how much damage they are doing. It is you and your family who suffer most, something I recognise with a concience since I have made others suffer in my past with my own selfish actions. From my experiences, an addict will not change until they realise or admit that there is a problem, denying them access to "Drug" of choice will make that person more determned to to feed their individual craving, often resorting to desperate measures. I agree with Zaad's observation that you need to talk to her, not as a know it all angry farang, but as the caring father of YOUR Kid, your joint responsability and slowly try to get her into thinking about her actions. Then and only then, when the addiction has been recognised as such by the addict can the road to recovery truely begin. Its going to be a long difficult process, stay strong you will overcome between you. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted November 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 She is recognizing that she destroys everything, but its up and down. When she wants to play, that is gone and she finds up reasons to play. Its true like some posters wrote that this might make us bankrupt if I am not careful. I've seen that with others, it ends in both divorce and broken economy. We have decided to travel on a 2 weeks holiday all 3 of us in december, maybe Phuket if I can get a cheap price. Our releationship has gone through bad stuff before, some might remember our visa problems. We will make it through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 Dear CBK, This is really a bad problem, very bad my dear friend, do something quick, get her out of that environment. I can't say much of anything else, but mind you, this is not 100% Asian eventhough 80% of Asians do gamble. Get her out of that environment quick. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted November 15, 2005 Report Share Posted November 15, 2005 CBK, I'm sorry to hear of this as well. I'll echo some of the earlier suggestions. Find out if any of the Norwegian gambling addiction organizations know of any specific meetings for foreigners, asians, etc. Also, is she at the stage where she ha at least admitted she has a problem or is she still in denial? Removing her from your country is a temporary fix. If she doesn't get help the chances are she'll continue. I just hope she doesn't exchange one type of gambling to another. If so, that is very serious indeed. Until she gets serious counseling, I am not sure if she can remain in your country. The temptation will always be there. I've been around some people with gambling problems and its not pretty. Even when they admit they have a problem it doesn't make the problem disappear. I'm assuming this is an issue that you didn't have prior. You'll need to educate yourself as well. Its her addiction but your problem as well. You may need to find a support group as well. A group for people who have spouses or family members that have this problem. You'll need to know how to deal with it. Like any addiction, she may have to hit her 'bottom'. Its different for each person. I sincerely hope and pray it all works out. Its going to be a very emotionally and physically draining ordeal. Just prepare yourself for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 15, 2005 Report Share Posted November 15, 2005 [color:"blue"] There are lots of strategies like stopping the money flow by only letting a person have a very limited amount of cash and no access to ATMs and credit cards etc. but a committed gambler will get the bug and find a way to get the cash no matter what safeguards are put in place. Unfortunatley most gamblers don' t seem to get cured no matter what is done or what therapy is involved. [/color] I hate to say this, but what I have seen happened to a few women who gambled gave me a negative attitude. One woman gambled away over half a million $ in 5 years after her husband's death. I knew the husband very well, he was my daughter's favorite uncle. This man saved every penny and within 6 months of his death, his Thai born wife gambled away over $100,000 and I became " a bitch" for trying to put some sense into her. This woman is now 59 years old and works in a grocery store for $6/hour. The gamblers will find a way to get money, I am not saying that in will happen in CBK's case. Most of Asian women do gamble and many of them turn into certain activities to get money to support them. I think the reason I never gamble is because of my attitude towards gambling. I have a doctor friend (Fillipino) whose wife spends $150/week on slot machines, that is her allowance. They have money and they are in the 60s so he figures his wife can have some entertainment. I find that the worst disaster in life is gambling, flood/fire can damage your property, but gambling takes EVERYTHING away. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted November 15, 2005 Report Share Posted November 15, 2005 Oh man a really bad and serious story, you're a good man for not sending her back home in an envelope! I am a little scared to give an advice in such a serious topic. I would + get her banned everywhere you can gamble (if possible) + provider her with professional help NOW! + Don't send her home, the addiction won't stop, let her face the issue together with the shrink and your moral support. + Don't cut her off the money well, the outcome you may not like (asumption) if she really needs money she MIGHT find other way I really hope the best for you two! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPike Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 You have a 2 year old son and she is pissing your money away on slot machines? Ship her ass out pronto. Gambling is extremely destructive and very difficult to cure. Plus slot machines take no skill, it's for total retards. Don't even try: Ship her out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted November 16, 2005 Report Share Posted November 16, 2005 My wife works in Las Vegas in several casinos and her company's website has this to offer. Maybe not much, but a start. And I agree, every once in a while, my wife lets the monkey crawl on her back and we fight very evilly (it is ugly, jing jing). But she gets control and reins it in. I do not know what to say to you to help as Mrs Tiger has kicked this on her own -- I cannot be arrogant and say I have had any impact on her what-so-ever when she is in "gamble" mode. There are links on the site and a number to call. I know they have multi-language speakers, so maybe a Vietnamese speaker on the phone can shake come sense into your gal. Maybe worth a long distance call? What's to lose? Good luck mate -- I wish you the best! Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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