Long Gun Posted September 10, 2001 Report Share Posted September 10, 2001 quote: Originally posted by phoenix: Coming to Bkk this week, to arrange for an untrasound, whuich one way or other should give me more clarity whetehr I'm gonna be dad or not. Watch this space. May see some of you at Woodstock on Friday. Phoenix A thought. If your lady is going to be staying down in Soi 54, you might want to have a look at one or two alternatives to Bumrungrad, for convenience and comfort's sake, rather than economy which doesn't seem an issue. There is a Bumrungrad-a-like on Bangna, close to the Central Mall there called Thai Nakarin. Not as big as Bumrungrad but used to have a good reputation among the farang community and used to have a highly regarded paediatrician who also ran various western-style classes. Before my son was born, my wife and I went there a few times and I was quite impressed though money was a concern as on my insurance at the time, pregnancy was classified as a sexually transmitted disease and wasn't covered! However, and this is why I mention comfort, my wife wasn't so happy with the place, feeling that the nurses and other patients, though not the doctor, were sending out unfriendly vibes. Across the other side of Bangna is, I think, Bangna General, a Thai private hospital, which is where my son was eventually born. From the first time we went there my wife was noticably happier and found it much easier to talk with the staff and discuss any problems. We had a private room there for about a quarter of the cost of the 'farang' alternative. Fascinating story anyway, Phoenix, sorry I won't be around at the weekend to chat with you about it, though we'll be back from the seaside on Sunday evening if you're still around. LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted September 13, 2001 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2001 Thank you Longun. Much happened since. I am in BKK, caught up with Nok last night. Both very happy, toasting to 'baby'. Had a few drinks outside Voodoo, no feeling any inclination to go in, being with her and her friends was enough. Today we went to Bumungrad. Ultrasound scan, a little fetus with large head and visible as well as audible heartbeat. My heart leapt. A living child. Wow! So I asked the doctor operating the gadget, "How many weeks" That's why I am here, after all. She replied "9 weeks 3 days plus or minus four days" That puts the creation of this being 4 weeks after my last visit to LOS. Nok didn't understand what she said, and kept on happily looking at the monitor. I couldn't talk with the Dr there, so we left and went to the caf to have some food. I drew a timeline over the past few months, and explained to Nok that her child wasn't mine. It was as if a train hit her. She was not faking, she was totally stunned. She was convinced it was mine. In retrospect, she had told me before her periods were very irregular, some times none for a few. months. I believe her that she didn't know. The consequences for us are major, not even to speak of the child. The real author is a another farang "No good, not like family", who she doesn't want a child of. She wants my child, but it isn't. So tomorrow she wants to go to the clinic for "population control" in Soi 12, for an abortion. I'll come along to hold her hand. (I don't really give a shit about the other bloke in the picture, She was simply hedging her bets, and I understand that, no hard feelings.) I heard some alarming reports about poor "client relations' there (Meechai? Soi 12). Somewhere on the old board there was a discussion about abortion. Please, can anyone help and give a name and adress for a better quality alternative service for abortion. Private clinic is OK, as long as they are professional and reasonably kind to her. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, various dreams out of the window, including the one in which i was going to spend 1 month out of three with her here in LOS. I think my ML would be happy to feed all of me to the ducks if I suggested that now. Roll on rollercoaster, the soap-opera of my life keeps on getting more bizarre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 13, 2001 Report Share Posted September 13, 2001 Phoenix - I'm glad you found out, but feel sorry for the girl and the fetus. What you ALSO may have found out, I think, is that you do not love this girl. You were willing to do "the right thing" as long as the baby was yours. Now that you know it isn't, what is your true attitude about your girl? Wouldn't it still be "the right thing" for someone you cared that much about? You wax sensitive about this magical, living being and then mention abortion like its nothing. Sounds a little hypocritical to me. Sorry. I know you said she doesn't want this guy's child, but ask her if she would want the child if you'd still be in the picture. If it was love, you wouldn't be holding her hand while she had the abortion; I don't think the parentage would matter and you'd be trying to talk her out of it. Your love for her would be paramount. Its a very good thing you found out now, to prevent you from making this huge longterm decision on faulty information - about the child and about your feelings. I apologize if you feel this is being too rough, but I think its probably true. I hope your life calms down and wish you good luck with your wife back home. Chicago Dave [ September 13, 2001: Message edited by: chicago dave ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 13, 2001 Report Share Posted September 13, 2001 Phoenix, I'm sorry you had to find this out. I will not go into the abortion discussion, this is something personal of her. Hope she will be well. Wish you luck and wisdom; probably a good time now to stand stil and think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 15, 2001 Report Share Posted September 15, 2001 Good luck Phoenix. I've been where you are, admittedly not with a Thai lady. though, and a lonnnggggg time ago. A lot of pain - physical, emotional and, I suspect, spiritual for a true Buddhist. Chicago Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted September 15, 2001 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2001 C-Dave: I may have sounded callous about the abortion, I did not feel that way. I was a bit shellshocked at first seeing a heartbeat on the shape on that monitor, then being told it wasn't what I thought, followed by having to explain that to her. I did my utmost best NOT to influence her decisions after that. It was her resolute conclusion : I wanted Your baby, not his. I cannot have his. I Have supportd her now in following up her decision. That was very hard, very sad. But in the end the deciasion right was hers. Words cannot describe the feelings around this adequately, and I will not try to do that here either. My initial post was asking for information, not to process personal feelings. However, it is also true that these last few days it has been virtually impossible for me to talk abou what's ben going on with anyone, becuase of the nature of the matetr, and sometimes even this board has been helpful as a sounding board. Nok appears to feel a bit better now, more relaxed, and as good as could be hoped for under the circumstances. We have had a few of her friends around at the hotel, to support her, both yesterday and the day before. Thanks everyone for the support and feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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