Honey...I'm fart!

[khwaimaisabai]

Hi aesthete,

Having read your story, I can see why you chose your board name. Very refined.

Khwai

[AF16]

If my wife and I break up the most likely reason will be farting. I enjoy it my wife gets angry as ..... .

 

The first time I farted in front of her was in the bat tub. I knew she did not have a bath thub at home so I just wanted to show her how cool it was when it started bubbeling. She found it to be unromantic as she put it.

 

She somethimes fart as well but turn red and giggles like there is no tomorrow, then I fart and she gets angry. As she puts it, hers smell like roses so mai pen rai, mine smells like i have a dead buffalo inside so should go outside.

[chilli13]

dead buffalo inside LOL - best of luck

[Zaad]

I used to burp a lot back in Holland but now it turned into farts. I'm quite skilled if I may say so

[aesthete]

khwaimaisabai said:

Hi aesthete,

Having read your story, I can see why you chose your board name. Very refined.

Khwai

 

i just enjoy the beauty of a game that includes farting and beatings.

[BuffHello]

so long as its not a pussy fart thats ok

[Crash999]

aesthete said:

my friends and I have played a game called "doorknob" since the days of high school. we picked it up from the G.I.'s we knew who played it in the barracks at Ft. Bragg.

 

when you fart, you have to say "safety" before someone can call "doorknob" if you get doorknobbed, they are allowed to beat the snot out of you until you touch a doorknob. many of us still play this game, although we've pretty much gotten so habitual about safety-ing that it's very rare someone gets thier ass whipped.

 

Holy carp... I thought only the weird and depraved folks at my college used to follow the doorknob rule. 9 times out of 10 we'd safety our way out of it, but sometimes we'd slip.

 

Safety! ::

[BJ_Blackowitz]

@ zaad ; gatverdamme

I Burp and fart. Just say Hoppala or blame the cat for the fart

[aesthete]

i'll bet you still call "safety" out of habit as often as not.... that game teaches you a hard lesson!

 

cool to hear doorknob stories from someone else. a few times i've bumped into groups that played doorknob, and most of the time they were military connected.

[KimDidMeGood]

Here's a story:

 

Mike Farang after butterflying for years in Bangkok eventually fell in love with Mai, a stunning Thai beauty, well educated from an influent family. Mai also loved him very much and, very early, the two of them decided that they were meant to meet and unite their lives in marriage.

Obviously, the issue was Mai's family reaction to her decision to marry a foreigner, moreover one of these uncivilized South Western Americans. Although Mike had a very good situation in a multinational company, Mai's parents were very reluctant to letting their daughter choose a husband outside the community.

Mai had a hard negotiation with her Dad even to have him accept that Mike come their home to have a dinner and meet the family. But Mai was strong headed and after insisting several weeks, Dad capitulated.

Mike chose his most elegant suit and went for the first time of his life to an expensive hair salon to have his hair dressed in a fancy Hollywood style. At exactly 8:00 PM, Mike was ringing at the gate of Mai's family house. His overall look, the BMW company car and his very good mastering of Thai language seemed to impress the people, especially Mai's Mom, Dad, though, affected to remain very cold. Barely mumbling a response to Mike?s ?Sawadee Khrap? with a very humble wai.

Mike was a smart guy so while they were sitting around in the living room, he managed to have the Dad interested in a conversation about Thailand economic situation.

Mai?s family owned a high pedigree german shepherd which immediately adopted Mike and sat at his feet.

But then the problems started: earlier, Mike had had lunch at a French colleague?s from Toulouse and the meal served was a delicious, yet heavy ?Cassoulet?. Mike felt a terrible need to fart and that really wasn?t the appropriate moment. But it was too hard to try to hold it so he managed to let it go silently.

Unfortunately the smell was infamous, and there was no way that the people wouldn?t smell it. Mike then had a brilliant idea: he looked at the dog in the way that would let people suppose there was the origin of the pestilence. Mai?s Dad yelled ?REX!? (dog?s name). That was a relief for Mike: the guilt was on Rex?s head. That was great because there was still a lot of gas which was willing to find a way out from Mike?s body.

Mike unleashed a second salve, as silent as the first one and similarly odorous. Then, same routine: a look at the dog with a confused expression on the face and then Mai?s Dad yelling ?REX!? Mai stood up to open the window.

Mike felt somehow guilty to let the blame go on the innocent animal but there was so much at stake? The perturbation inside his belly was going on, even intensifying. So he farted for the third time, this one was quite hard to keep silent but with the force of will, Mike succeeded at it. The smelling? well it was positively infectious. Then Mai?s Dad shouted : ?REX! Get away from here, that guy is going to shit on you!!!?