My teenager caught looking at porn

[mongon]

So he is going to be 14 soon. At his grandparents it was discovered that he was looking at porn sites. I just found out from my ex wife so I haven't talked to him yet.

 

But this post is not so much about porn as it is about teenagers having sex. Would rather get advice here on nanaplaza since people are not uptight about sex (right?).

 

I was 16 when i first had sex. And had no idea what i was doing of course. Was lucky not to get the girl pregnant. The talks i had received meant nothing when that first opportunity showed itself. Would like for my son not to do a repeat. Most girls my age first had sex at 15 or 16. But that was decades ago and this the 21st century.

 

 

I can order him not to look at porn again. But this does not solve anything. The kid is curious. And about to enter public high school here in the USA. Where boys and girls are sexually active. And my kid is liked by girls. I have already had a talk with him about sex and pregnancy and condoms when he first hit puberty 18 months ago.

 

I wonder if talking with him is enough. I suspect he will be having sex soon. What would you do? More talking? Bring him to a massage parlor in LOS for proper training? Threaten him with death if he has sex? Tell him its OK if he does it the 'right' way

 

 

Thanks for any responses.

[OCgringo]

I think if you show him a video of you doing it ,

 

well he will never want to do it

 

OC :: :: ::

[cagedsoidog]

This is a serious subject.

 

But I am sure there will be opinions all over the place on this one.

 

Talking with the child is the best advice. Keep yourself informed about all his behaviors.

 

Certainly, a talk about responsiblity is a good start. Another is about STD's. I would get a picture book and show all that can go wrong.

 

I think you have a moral duty to say no to this activity at this age. All computers have parental controls as do TV's.

 

I would send him off to an expensive private school where he is monitored 24/7 until college. Saint Paul's School in Concord, New Hampshire - USA - is a good school. www.sps.edu

 

Don't have money for that. Then keep communication going in both directions and provide moral guidance whenever time allows.

 

I think the bottom line is the more time you spend with child the better. Set the example yourself. Be a good decent person and hopefully he will follow your example.

 

Or you can dump him off at the Marine Corps recruiters when he turns 18 years of age and let them straighten out his life !

[whosyourdaddy]

how many of you never snuck into the old mans cupboard to take a look at the playboy.

 

Might just want to tell him it is an adult activity show him the cons about it ( internet viruses, getting caught etc)

 

if you are really concerned and dont want him looking then get "net nanny" or something similar. or move him to thailand. no fucking porn here anymore

[limbo]

Talking to him is important IMO. Also very important is tolet him understand that he's always welcome to come home, IMO it's better he gets his first experience in is own bedroom rather than somewhere on a dark corner or who knows where.

[Guest]

We must assume you to be a liberal guy as you are after all on this site!

 

Since sex is a natural thing and your boy will act on his feelings at some time. You might want to talk with him like this:

 

Son, You know that I love you and will always support you and the decsions you make. Your Grandmother told me you have been looking at porn sites and guess what I look at them too. You want to relate to him...he needs to not feel odd for doing something so normal. Son, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about these sort of things. Son I'd rather you not look at these sites on your grandmothers computer because It makes her feel (your words here) However, you can (produce another alternative)!

 

Son as you grow older and want to become sexually involved with your shcool mates you should know that I support this and my house will always be available to you in this way. I was young once and remember not having a place to take girls too. My only warning to you is to use protection ie..condom! The last thing you want, son, is HIV or to get a girl pregnant. My biggest fear for you, (his name), is that you don't get to enjoy all that life has to offer you. I love you and want you to always feel free to tell me anything! Most likely you'll find that I can help you with any problem you will face!

 

That's what I'd say!

 

SkiBum

[..]

I agree that you can mention that you prefer that he wait to have sex, but the more you harp on it the more he will want to find out what all the fuss is about. But, unlike SkiBum, I would not acquiesce to aid him in his quest for pussy.

 

Definitely inform him of all the risks and responsibility that goes along with it. And debunk the myths (girls can't get preggers the first time, etc.)! That is the most important bit, so he has a better chance of making an informed decision instead of letting hormones take over completely. Then trust that you have raised him in such a manner that he is responsible enough to do the right thing. Becuse you did, right?

 

Regards,

SD

[BJ_Blackowitz]

Me being dutch and very liberal about sex and just before the big Four Oh.

1) just tell him sex is OK as long as it is with the consent of BOTH

2) Show a few pictures of STD's

3) Speak about the risks of STD, HIV, KIDS

4) Promise to take hime to LOS if he still is a virgin @ 16yrs (that will work..) and treat him to a week on the loose..

[Encore]

Yes, very Dutch. I like it.

[mazoun]

My advice to you would be to talk to the child as a friend.

This is a age they have to go through and hopefully everything will turn out right. No amount of monitoring will help, if he is against you, and feels that you are an old fart interfering in his personal life.

 

Let him sow his wild oats, get a few heart aches and he will stabilize. AT the age of 14-17 they do not need viagra, but anti-viagra, so stay cool. I have a kid 17, and know how I screwed up that relationship.