Guest Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 chillilover said: 'Also even you have been with a TG a loooong time you'll never really get to know her untill you stay with her for years in LOS or take her to farangland' yes, and then you really smell the stink. course if you're lucky she'll move on a bit sooner than that and leave you in peace. best advice anyone gave me in Tingyland was 'you got to change you bird more often mate'. a wiser man than me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 I have been married with thai once and had a couple of long time girl friends before my marriage and after that. I have few principles:I never send money to Thailand, I don't buy passport to anyone than myself.(I pay visa,insurance and flying ticket if it goes so far)I always tell these things to a girl so she know whether stay with me or not. It's up to her.So she don't get disappointed and I don't get disappointed (I hope so) I think I have saved a lot of money by these principles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gun Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 quote: Originally posted by bromad72: And BTW, Working in the place that I do, My bullshit radar is pretty sensitive. I think you might find that the US model you have doesn't actually work properly here in Thailand. They seem to operate on different frequencies somehow. LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gun Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 quote: Originally posted by FarangDang: Tell her that you really like her, but that you don't think you can marry her or support her. She should go back to work and tell her you will try to see her on your next trip. I think this is good advice, and fair to her at the same time. I know it's not a very pleasant thought, her returning to work, especially if she seems genuinely happy to be out of it (though that doesn't often seem to be the case - the money doesn't really replace the 'glamour' and the lifestyle) but, if you're as unsure as you seem to be, it might be best. You don't say how much you're sending, but I would guess it's not enough for her to save enough to retire on, especially as she is so close to her possibly parasitic family. Another year down the line and her earnings potential will have decreased further as she ages but the competition stays as young as ever. More importantly, in that year she might have met the guy who is really sure about how he feels for her and is prepared to commit himself to that. Sure, that's not your problem, and it's not your fault that she has chosen to accept your offer and take a chance but ......... LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2002 Report Share Posted March 19, 2002 I can understand why there's girls that don't quit working. They've probably been where this girl is at now. She quit her job, moved back in with her family and probably built up her hopes about her new life with this guy. The whole thing sounds very painful for the girl to go through. I'm sure girls that go through that once tend not to be too trusting the second time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted March 27, 2002 Report Share Posted March 27, 2002 i am confused! You mentionned being asked 30 000 to be spent making merry, but then she did not hit you with sick buffalo stories? etc... I mean, does it have to be about buffalos or sick brother? Whatever her feelings for you, you are already earmarked as provider of the family. Nothing wrong in that if that's your wish, but so far, your tale does not indicate any special behaviour from so many other stories. All i can say is that 30 000 is a lot of money in any thai village. My Gf thinks she will need 65000 to build a decent shelter for her mom, with tile floor, shower inside and cement walls, plus a room for her daughter, and these people want to drink up 30 000 of your hard-earned money? what if you never met her, does it mean her sister and 250 others can't party all night? I'd try to keep the family as much out of the way of your relationship, or set limits on your generosity early on, because once they feel you are ready to pay up, the pressure will be hard on your G/F to keep up with $$ allowances. And family comes first in LOS (or ask her if she would work bars for you if you were out of work or injured) ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar Posted April 5, 2002 Report Share Posted April 5, 2002 When I was new to Thailand and the bar scene, I was about to start paying a BG a regular sum - to keep her out of the bar. but I found out only just in time that she also had a regular live-in boyfriend and that my funding would probably have been used to keep him in beer and brothels rather than keeping the girl out of the bar. Needless to say, I have become a little more wary and hopefully wiser by that experience. BGs are very adept at being very economical with the truth when it comes to extracting money from 'wealthy' Westerners - we're seen as 'fair game'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeboy03 Posted April 6, 2002 Report Share Posted April 6, 2002 On your next trip spend some time in any internet cafe near the beer bars before them bargirls go out to work. You can see them receiving e-mails from love-sick farangs with photos attached. Most of them are making fun of it, showing the pictures around, reading the mails loud and keep laughing. Note: Maybe not all of them, but I think really many... In Vientiane, Laos I was short time with a bargirl who got her lao-english dictionary with her, and some hand-written notices. These notices were sentences like " You're my number one", "I stopped working bar" or, my personal favourite, "If you don't send me more money I have to work bar again"!!!! Maybe I am too pessimistic, but I was in love with some bargirl too, never send any money nor mails, but had some terrible weeks after my return to cold and grey farangland to get her out of my head. Saw her again six months later, still working bar, talking the same sh**t like she used to do. Bye, H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_numbers Posted April 6, 2002 Report Share Posted April 6, 2002 I agree heartily with the seasick hungover from Bangkok sentiment this all reeks of... It is damn well cold here, and people are aloof and rude in the affectionately dubbed "farangland". It is all too idyllic what's left behind --- that's clearly the reason people start floating ideas of moving to Thailand. It traces back to another thread in this section about "no matter" how much you ever get involved -- even in a long term relationship with a Thai girl you are still somewhat on the outside and never know... just as she does not. The consensus was it was difficult to talk about feelings, and often family questions were avoided even after a long time. This was with regard to regular girls, obviously BG's mirror this, but perhaps from an even more tenuous and fleeting financial standpoint. It has been echoed by many that we are "walking wallets". The man who started this knows he is off, but it's hard to drive that home with so much to reflect back on in a positive light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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