Fudgy does Asia, an Epilog

[fudgyMcPacker]

So I return from my short trip to Asia and life is good. I remember the good time that I had, and think about future trips. Oh, and lets not forget the extra amount of money.

 

A week has passed, and I am in the shower. The water is kind of hot, and provides my upper chest area with a warm sensation of itchy goodness. It remeinds me of a trip to Mexico that I had taken in college and I was attacted by insects. My face swelled up to the size of a water melon, but the water on my swollen face felt so good.

 

More days pass. I notice that I have many flea bites, yet my cat doesn't have fleas. This is strange.

 

I am asleep in my bed at night. I feal a flea jumping around my dick area. I get out of bed to take a look underneath the bright bedside lamp. What I find is not a flea, but a little animal that I had never seen before. I capture and it makes a satisfying crunch undearneath my fingernails.

 

HOLY FUCK!! There are bunches of these little motherfuckers all over me. I capture them and crunch them but they are hard to see, and you know I'm covered in a nice blinket of hair. I run downstairs and find my cats flea comb and use it on myself. Several of these little animals have fallen into the sink where they are crunched in my fingernails.

 

I take my electric razor and shave all the hair off my chest. Pedro did something like this in "Napolean Dynamite", so it must work. Once the hair is gone I see more of these things and kill them. I vacume myself using the upulsry attachment. It hurts like shit, but I don't know what else I should be doing.

 

It's late and I have killed a bunch of these little animals, and I need to go to bed. Sleep is fitful, evertime by body iches I have to inspect myself under a light.

 

In the morning I get up early. I didn't sleep good last night. I shave my back to start and look for more creatures. I kill a few, then shower up. I don't have much of a tan, and I am about 15 lbs overweight, and now that I am shaved I look very much like a pig.

 

I jump on the internet, and learn via wikipedia that I have lice, or as vulgar street people call them 'the crabs'. I also learned that it is easily cured.

 

I go to work, and then quickly take a walk to the drug store. I find the lice isle and get a body shampoo that will cure me. I feel sort of dirty buying this stuff, but I just think that I am buying it for my nonexistant child, and I feel better about doing it.

 

I run home where I shower, again. I leave the stuff on for another 10 minutes then rinse it off. I find some more dead creatures, poisened from the shampoo. I wash all my bedding. All the cloths that I have been wearing. I shave a few more tufts of hair off my back. I go back to work feeling better. On the way I passed the donut shop buyt in my new found pigitude I take a pass.

 

And so with the removal of my body hair and the killing of the last hijcking creature from my body, I hearby declare my trip to asia officially over.

[shygye]

You need to do a repeat application at 7 to 10 days. The eggs are not killed by the shampoo and in about 7 days they will hatch.

 

PS: Crabs are too small to crush with your fingers.

[preahko]

maybe it's a new breed of super-large southeast asian crabs...you know, to go along with the massive cockroaches (I killed one in my apartment yesterday that a puppy would have run in fear from) and the giant centipedes...

 

preahko

[Weird]

oiy.. the centipedes...

 

well everybody knows once a creature lives in asia (besides people) they eventually become godzilla sized....

[dddave]

I had "crabs" many years ago but the memory remains; my sympathies.

 

I'm sorry, but I must ask: How does one shave ones own back?

[fudgyMcPacker]

ddave: Shaving ones back is easy, shaving ones back well, is not. The process that I use is to use the beard trimmer on the razor and I get as much as I can. The sides are easy, the top is easy, the middle is the hard part. Thus I still have a couple of clumps of hair on the back, that I may or may not attempt to eradicate.

 

The pubic lice shampoo seems to have done its job well. I will give myself another one in week or so.

 

Some other things I have learned is that the pubic lice can not live away from a host for more than a couple of days. Also that washing in hot water and drying at a high temp. helps to kill them. I have been following every thing that I've read religiously, and hope that I have learned from this experience.

[Encore]

Oh My,

 

been there too.

 

I picked them up during a short stay in BKk. never noticed, until i had a brief encounter with a good friend (Isan) in my home country, who in a previous life was a BG in PP.

 

She was going to go down on me, but discovered these creatures, recognised them for what they were, and freaked. "I told you prostitutes in Thailand are dangerous" .

But she was kind enough to get a comb (left over from my kids ar primary schools many years ago), find most culprits, and advise me on medication. Unfortunately, no action that day.

Bought meds, applied two times, then held my breath.

 

shortly afterwards, my falang wife wanted sex. i went down to the Y, then said "hey darling, you gotta problem. Must be that rather dirty hotel we stayed in a bout 6 weeks ago in that small Thai vilalge.

i then went out and bought her the same meds. We laughed about it afterwards.

 

Can easily happen to anyone.

[colorwolf]

fudgyMcPacker said:

I jump on the internet, and learn via wikipedia that I have lice, or as vulgar street people call them 'the crabs'.

 

I've always called them crabs whenever I had them and yes, I am scum, but I am NOT a vulgar street person.

 

 

To ikkrang: cool story! You really must be a vulgar street person...