A Story About TrusT

[ChristianTroy]

In another recent thread I was talking about a nice girl that is working in a first class hotel in Pattaya! From the first date she seemed to have a major crush on me and I would lie if I wasn't impressed by her too! We didn't had too much time to meet since I had to do business in another country! What we did was chatting with webcam everyday when she cam off work! She was also calling me a couple of times everyday to tell me how much she likes me! I know her best friends very well, one of them is the girlfriend of my friend and they are all nice people, nothing really to worry about! Today I am supposed to return to Pattaya, I wasn't entirely sure to give it a go or not, since I was falling on my face a couple of times before!

 

Here is what happnend!

2 Days before I was waiting on my desk for her to appear on MSN, she didn't show up she was sleeping because they had changed her shift to 6am! No call, no text message, in her defence i have to mention that i told her not to interrupt my work on this day! Still, an SMS would have been nice! She called me in the morning and apologized and asked me if I can ditch business so we can talk at 8pm Thai time! There was just a lunch on my schedule so I went home and waited 5 hours untill she came home! She told me was eating with my friends girlfriend:

 

Beeing a little pissed she dicthed me 2 days in a row I had my Alarm Radar swicthed on. She told me that her Dad called her that his cousins Husband (50yo)is coming to Pattaya and that we have to take him to dinner sometimes if I wouldn't mind! She said he is american and stays at her hotel! ALARM WENT OFF!!

 

I told her not to lie to me, I said i knew how much she is into me and I don't expect anything bad from her but I believe the story is made up!

She insisted the Story is true

 

I asked when this guy would arrive, she said he would come tomorrow! While I was suspicious like mad I tricked her into some confusing Q&A game of mine with following outcome after asking a couple of questions:

 

me: still don't get why you didn't tell me you come home later!

her: I was feeling bad, so i tell Pon (name changed) to go with me

me: Why you felt bad and why you wanted her to come with you?

her: I don't wanted you to think bad about me!

me: Ah!! now I get it, you went to dinner with Pon and the family guy

her: yes, now you understand!

me: The same guy who is arriving tomorrow? Does he has a time machine?

her: Sorry i confused the dates

me: lol, you crazy little liar!

her: No I don't lie, I am just confused!

me: Say no more! How about the truth?

her: I tell you the truth already

 

well well well

it turned out she met this guy in BKK when she was working in a PC shop, she said he is a friend and she sees him as a Daddy. She knows his wife and her family knows about him. Nothing ever happenend she said! He came to Pattaya without a notice and she felt guilty not to go eat with him and thats why she took the friend with her so noone would think she is dating him. Her friend confirmed that she was happily talking about me all the time and that she was looking forward to see me again!

 

It might be true but it was Version number 4 on this day! What bothers me most was that she was trying to make me feel bad before that I wouldn't trust her, she was trying to play innocent and that I hurt her feelings by not trusting her!

 

Let's assume her final story was true:

it shows me that she doesn't trust me, I'd not have a problem with her seeing a male friend especially not when he is twice as old as her! I know about her feelings for me! The point is that she lied about something small! She never told me about a guy who is like her Dad to her! Who lies has something to hide and I know now she is capable of covering things up! How I am supposed to trust her again, now I know she would lie to me when something really bad is happening.

I actually believe that nothing is going on between them two, Pon is a very good friend of mine and i dragged her ass out of the mud a couple of times, she wouldn't lie to me, she would rather say nothing instead of lying, she also said she doesn't think something is going on with them!

 

After all it was a lie and she tried to make me feel bad for beeing supicious even when she knew she was wrong, she doesn't trust me that I wouldn't understand! This means to me we are not on the same page! I would not lie about anything like that! I don't know if she has something to hide or if I already know the truth, fact is that we are talking about a Thai girl in Pattaya and I rather be too cautious and let this one go instead of getting burned!

 

I thanked her for the good times and told her not to contact me again! She was crying and shaking and had a pulse of 170 on the phone and I could hear one more time that she really likes me since this was one of the most dramatic cryings I have ever heard which you can't fake at all this way, but my decission is made. How I am supposed to trust her when she makes up a story about something so small?

[Central Scrutinizer]

CT,

 

I thought you said you were going to leave this poor girl alone as you know you are not ready for a steady relationship. What do you care who she sees, and why does she have to tell you who she sees and what the relationship is when she does see someone? I don't get it. Why the vigorous Q&A of the lady? You're not married to her, not going to marry her, and are a butterfly to boot. Why torture the girl and make her miserable and get her all upset and crying? I'm beginning to feel you may be a control freak with this silly shit and that you like the ego-boost this sort of stuff gives you. Walk away from her. Let her get on with her life so she can find a man that loves her, will marry her, and will not cat around on her. Obviously you have no intention of being that man, so why play head games with the chick?

 

Cent

 

p.s. By your reaction I can see why she probably didn't just tell you about this family friend. It wasn't worth the headache she knew you'd give her if you knew.

[ChristianTroy]

I said I wanted to wait untill i return! Checking the feelings inside of me if I am readay or not, because I didn't want to hurt her!

 

She considered me as her boyfriend already! I alwyays told her to be slowly with these things!

 

Since i had to check if I am good enough for her I have to check if she is good enough for me! If things like that make me suspicious it is my job and my damn right to find out what is going on!

 

I am not a control freak! I didn't torture the girl at all! I was trying to find out by asking her questions because I can rely on my intuition!

There is no ego boost for me to get in a scenario like that! I don't wanted her to be sad (read the other thread) I promised myself not to hurt this girl which I didn't do in this particular scenario, she hurt herself by not telling the truth! If the truth is what she told me then I wouldn't have had a problem with it!

 

Butterfly? Maybe! As I stated in reponse to you, I am not sure about it! I am also 3 weeks apart from a girl that I barely know! When I was with her these few days I had no intention to do so! That's why I wanted to wait untill I see her again and re-check my feelings! It is different to know someone very well or only a couple of days. Beeing seperated for a longer time than you know her can mess with your mind!

 

Be careful with throwing things like control freak at me because I am not! Her story didn't make sense and I have feelings for her, If I am not going after the truth I am a fool!

 

in response to your "PS"

I stated clearly i wouldnt have had a problem if I knew about it upfront, telling a story afterwards is always bad! I would have even accepted it if she just told me why she was 5 hours late, but she has chosen to lie about it! Nothing condones lying! I am a pretty straight guy, on this board, and in real life, I know that every individual has a past and I don't care about it! When the past is mixing with the present and my private life I would like to know. I have asked and I was lied to! What exactly I did do wrong? I once sent her a reminder email which she can always read when there are issues. My one requirement was not to lie to me, I said she can tell me always the truth, even when it hurts!

 

If she told me, this guy is my ex boyfriend but dont worry about it we are just friends, I would have believed it. Since she lied to me and I felt it i had to go after it to make my mind clear!

 

No matter what, if I had decided against her without that scenario she would have cried the same way. There was nothing but going for it to prevent the crying!

 

You are over judging me and you would lie if you would claim you wouldn't have tried to find out the truth as well!

[ChristianTroy]

One more thing! for all you judges that claim to know me!

Since I am posting on this board and I a reading so much about scam stories I had that back in my head and kept it for rainy days!

 

While I was chatting with her I was about to let it go and stop asking questions to show her that I trust her! So I asked her "how was work, did they tell you the date when you get promoted yet?"

she actually didn't reply, she kept on going with the lie! She said, "I have nothing to hide, I tell you the truth he is the husband of my daddies cousin and he is from America an stays at my hotel"

 

I couldn't let it go at this point, before I thought he was Thai, she told me before her Daddy never talked to a Farang! I knew something is not right and OF COURSE i wanted to what's going on!

 

ps

her best friend and my friend do understand why I did it and nobody of them thinks I did something wrong, they are aware of my doubts about myself and still they don't understand why she was making up a story! I always told the girl to wait with bigger words or feeling untill we have time to meet, i din't promised her anything, she was aware of my situation as well, I was honest with her and myself the entire time! She wasn't

[BKKanalist]

CT

 

"I am not a control freak!"

 

You aren't?

 

Cent

 

"By your reaction I can see why she probably didn't just tell you about this family friend. It wasn't worth the headache she knew you'd give her if you knew."

 

Fair and accurate observation.

[ChristianTroy]

hypocrite!!!

you tell me you not go after it when you smell it? That's a lie! I didn't let check up on her, I asked her in order to hear the truth!

 

That is the typical case of keyboard warriors with double standards! From you BKKa i would have epxtect

"I told you she isn't a good girl, too easy to pick up"

now you have been right about that and now I am a control freak because I was listening to you?

 

[ChristianTroy]

A girl is lying to a man - the man is for once no fool and is trying to find it out in a conversation and gets flamed for it?

 

You people have serious issues, lol!

 

Conversation is one of the most essential basics to solve a problem! I smelled the lie, I went after it and I was right about it!

 

People should be happy I didn't needed a PI or had to check or phone, things like almost everyone is condoning here. I was doing it by myself and found out in 20 minutes!

 

What's my crimed again? To ask for the truth?

 

get a clue guys!

[BKKanalist]

CT

 

My advise in this- and every other- CT thread has been to bang her.

 

I don't have double standards- I have been very consistent in that I think it would be cool if EVERY CT thread ended in some detailed after action report of great sex.

 

My reading of the culture here is far more realistic than you might think. I don't need to say "I told you so" as I knew I was right from the beginning and I am not going to be a smartass about it.

[ChristianTroy]

then stop throwing phrases just to look cool, you know exactly that it has nothing to do with a control freak to go after the truth when a lie is right in front of you! You also know that I am way more easy going than beeing uptight if she meets a friend! I have a sexy sister i am haging out with, i wouldnt have the right to make a problem if she wants to see a friend! Her free time her choice!

[Guest]

I think you went with your gut and that's always good. When looking at deceit/lies, i think it's important to look at motive. What was her reasons for lying about something so apparently minor?

 

There can not be one, as nothing would fit...nobody lies about unimportant things....why would they....they are unimportant (remember: motivation).

 

Ergo, she is lying. Why?

 

My guess...this guy came with wife before...probably flirted with your lady, was generous, has made promises since via email/text message. He is returning to claim his prize. Or what he thinks is his prize....in other words, his wife (if she exists btw) wont know what's going on...how many wives give their blessing to a man to go to Pattaya alone? Answer...zero... unless all love has gone.....

 

She is clearly full of shit...you will know when she's honest, she hasn't been yet...i imagine you will hear the imfamous line 'i didn't want to worry you'.....arghhhhhhh

 

Her use of 'daddy' is interesting. What does a dad do? He takes care....however DNA is not the reason her, only potential sex can be....

 

You did the right thing. If you want to expose her, meet the guy...see how she introduces you, watch his body language...you will know. I'd do this, but i dislike liars passionately....someone bullshits me and i always know...and they always suffer the consequences. i'd expose her for what she is. Then decide after.

 

I think she liked you, but not enough. Crying for herself does not mean she liked you that much, because by the sounds of it, that's what she was doing...thinking of herself and not you.

 

She has secrets....best to keep away, but make sure you let her know, that you know this. If she cares at all she would have motive to change. If not she'll shag the old bloke.

 

Sorry to hear about this CT...take care.