Relationship/marriage. Why not?

[Moo Ouan]

I have been reading so many diffrent threads on this site about marriage or relationships with thai women.

 

I must say that a lot of the opinions in this matter are really kind of childish.

 

If you wan´t a marriage to work in the long run, be it with a thai woman or a woman of any origin there are some simple rules that must be followed.

 

No women worth marrying will ever accept adultery no matter what they say (it´s a test, don´t fall for it). This goes both ways. In Thailand there are a lot of temptations that us europeans may not have to face in our home countries. But really - why marry someone if you anyway are planning to be unfaithful. The grass is rarely greener on the other side.

 

I know that many thai women choose to marry farang men since adultery in Thailand is more a rule than an exception. Hence their very suspective behaviour.

 

Tha whole matter about sin-sot (dowry), sponsorship or the practice of wanting expensive gifts originates in saving face. If a young girl wants to marry a man. Not a buddhist, not thai speaking, strange looking farang man she needs to have a reason for this. Telling her father that you are the sweetest most sensitive man she ever met just won´t cut it. Theese attributes are not considered to be assets in a future husband. It´s just considered to be strange farang behaviour. Her parents to have to justify their daughters choice to other older relatives. If you want to be percieved as good, soon to be son in law, your ability to take care of their precious daughter finacially, ranks high. Since most people in Thailand usually don´t have any social benefits or pensions the parents rely on their children to take care om them when they are to old to work. That´s why offspring to thai people, besides beeing their beloved children, are considered to be an investment for the future. This, for us europeans, is somewhat difficult to comprehend.

 

I´m married to a thai woman since many years and naturally the marriage has it´s up and downs. Mostly everything is great. We decided to share all the money we are making with full access to eachothers bankaccounts. This has meant all the diffrence for me. From being a slob. Living hand to mouth. Everything is looking better and better financially for every year that passes. Since my wife know that the money we have at our disposal is our money, not mine and her´s, she is very cautious about spending. Be it sending money to her family or just buying clothes or getting a haircut.

 

I am a firm believer that if you show someone respect and trust you will get the same behaviour back. I know that at least some members of this forum absolutely don´t agree with me and my experiences. And that I, buy saying this, am kind of is sticking my neck out. But hey when it comes to interacting with other people - What goes around, comes around.

 

Have good day

 

Affan(Moo Ouan)

[bjon045]

Hope you don't check your bank account one day and find out it has been drained

[Nervous_Dog]

Thai 3 - great to have you back, there's a thread about lukrung/morlam, can you advice please

[bibblies]

Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?

[WorldFun]

LOL ND almost forgot about thai3

[torrenova]

I'd never have all my cash in joint accounts with anyone. My ex Japanese wife and I had a joint account and seperate accounts at the same bank. We could transfer money instantly and that worked well.

 

For some it will work but for others, there will be that day, not today but some day soon, when the family or some other bullshit makes her question things and for some, it will all end in tears. His of course, not hers.

[Prosal]

 

Marrying is an unbearable and inhuman sacrifice for some of us. It goes against mongers's nature. Say the word "own" or "property" around our breed of men and you'll never see us again.

 

True mongers are wolves. We'd rather chew off our own paw than be stuck in a trap.

 

[shygye]