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What is best for a childs : single mum or fighting parent ?


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I think it is better to be a single parent than being in marriage and not maintaining it healthily because children learn what they see happening around them. Surely if a husband and wife are fighting they are not going to develop positive healthy attitudes in their adulthood.

 

Sure single parenting is much for stressful as you cannot share the daily tasks with anyone but in the end I thing your children learn at an earlier age the importance of resposibility and indipendance.

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How about two parents who manage too fool the kids they are happy - I know parents of friends of mine stunned everyone when they decided to get divorced once youngest reached 25 - seems they stayed together for the kids BUT managed to fool everyone.

 

All who knew where stunned - good idea or not to sacrifice your own happiness for the kids?

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How about two parents who manage too fool the kids they are happy - I know parents of friends of mine stunned everyone when they decided to get divorced once youngest reached 25 - seems they stayed together for the kids BUT managed to fool everyone.

 

All who knew where stunned - good idea or not to sacrifice your own happiness for the kids?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This happens quite often in the states really. Everyone is shocked. They seemed a happy loving couple. But really they put on a show for the sake of raising their kids in a good environment with both parents available under one roof for the kids. They are good parents, sacrifice their own 'happiness' for their kids, and now the kids are grown they try to grab whatever happiness they can in their later years with a different partner (or single life). Nothing wrong with it, but it can be hard to pull off. As I said in a earlier post, kids are very perceptive and intuitive and can sense things are not all bubblegum and sugar bears in a relationship. They seem to see behind the shows we adults put on for their benefit.

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Agree totally - requires a couple who don't "hate" each rather just don't want to be married - many people split amicably

 

I am best friends with all my significant other's - something the last one never could accept until she joined the ranks of "others" and discovered if you really loved someone for 7 years (ave time of a relationship for me - the current DArLek is now 10 years!) then you should still have some respect/feelings for the person,

 

The fact many people also split acrimoniously to me suggests they came together for the wrong reasons and weren't honest about their real desires/lusts/wants before getting it together.

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"The fact many people also split acrimoniously to me suggests they came together for the wrong reasons and weren't honest about their real desires/lusts/wants before getting it together."

 

How true this statement is. Many of us deceive ourselves in our relationships. We hate to admit we were wrong, hate to break up what was once thought to be 'love'. Add some kids into the mixture and things get very difficult. A lot to do with religion for many as well, which screws up many a human endeavor with its guilt trips.

 

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The fact many people also split acrimoniously to me suggests they came together for the wrong reasons and weren't honest about their real desires/lusts/wants before getting it together.

While I agree with that statement to a point I also think people just grow apart. People change over time, that's a reality.

 

I remember when I split up with my ex we told the kids our situation was bit like you first school yard friend. You still like eachother but your not best friends anymore.

 

We sometimes underestimate how intuitive kids are even at a young age.

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We sometimes underestimate how intuitive kids are even at a young age.

 

Couldn't agree more... my boy (one at the time), used to bawl his eyes out when mum and dad were fighting... after a while... he didn't even whimper. Sad really.

 

My parents were a terrible couple, although apart (now) they are fantastic people. They stayed together "for the kids" until I was 21, sis was 18 - was a dreadful atmosphere to live and grow up in.

 

My son has a ball when he's with me and the GL, and my other family. Going by his excitement when he goes back to mum he has fun there too. Everyone's a winner. Would hate for him to grow up in a hostile environment.

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  • 2 weeks later...

In my experience, being single parent is preferable over being in a marriage that has gone sour and is irretrievable. Kids may not like it at first, But i believe it is better to separate then to grom angry and bitter.

 

I agree with a previous poster, it is possible to develop an OK friendship with a past spouse, providing both make an effort. In relation to children, it certainly makes things easier if you can after separation put your differences aside and concentrate on what is good for the kids.

 

OP, I just found your posts. you have an interesting posting history, one post three years ago on language, now suddenly a few more personal posts.

 

That makes me curious why you put your issues on this specific board. You're most welcome of course.

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