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What is best for a childs : single mum or fighting parent ?


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  • 3 weeks later...
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  • 2 months later...
What is best for a childs : single mum or fighting parent ?

 

 

Single parent, without doubt. No good at all for a kid to be a house with constant fighting.

 

Before I left my first wife (and 4 kids) we went to counselling. Counsellor said 'get divorced'. For that reason.

 

That was 10 years ago. Kids are all doing fine and visit regularly.

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
How about two parents who manage too fool the kids they are happy - I know parents of friends of mine stunned everyone when they decided to get divorced once youngest reached 25 - seems they stayed together for the kids BUT managed to fool everyone.

 

All who knew where stunned - good idea or not to sacrifice your own happiness for the kids?

 

I can say that sacrificing your life for your kids is not the way to go, even though it seems the right thing to do. It isn't sometimes possible due to money but if both parents can be happy but apart, then it can work out but too often other influences come into play, too many demands on scarce resources, greed and stuff.

 

Most separate anyway and at that point, you've maybe lost the chance to be happy. Maybe lost that chance forever. Then you get a lifetime of resentment - not a thing anyone wants.

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  • 3 weeks later...

When you are honest with yourself, you have to look after yourself as only then can you truly take care of your kids.

 

I can't balance the staying together against the loss of being happy with someone else and no amount of anything from my kid is ever going to change that. I should have jumped ship and dealt with it from outside rather than hanging on inside and losing it all that way.

 

The resentment will never fade because the opportunity lost never comes back.

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  • 11 months later...

Hmmm…that’s a difficult one. I suppose you have to choose the option that you believe will be best for your child. If you decide to divorce, please be aware of the child custody laws wherever you are. Child custody is an international issue as more and more men and women move to foreign countries and have children. Child custody between Thai citizens and foreigners is a controversial topic in Thailand, where many of us using this forum currently live. Child custody in Thailand is determined by the following factors, among others: legal paternity, Thai family court and a social worker’s report. The social worker’s report can be based on the social worker’s feelings and observations about the parent’s ability to raise the child, as well as the well-being of the child. A parent must represent himself/herself well in front of the social worker. However, this can also work in Thai citizens’ advantages because they are more likely to have family members in Thailand who can help take care of the child and show support the child and Thai parent. Foreign men and women in Thailand are also opting to hire child custody attorneys, as self-representation in a Thai family court might be complicated. As for legal paternity in Thailand, the father would need to prove it in order to be considered for custody. I wish you and your children luck, whatever you decide.

 

[Removed the URL which was the only reason for making this post (i.e. link building) - KS]

 

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I separated from my 1st Witch when my daughter was only 3. She has subsequently, (despite her mother dying) turned out a lovely and successful and balanced 26 yrs old.

 

I am still with my 2nd Witch, when she dried up, I made a conscious decision to ride it out, in the hope of improvement and for the sake of my second daughter, then 18 mths old.

 

17 yrs later and I am nearly insane, my daughter is a 17 yr old Witchette, but is now "growing up" so may improve.

 

If I had to do it all again, I'd never have got married the 2nd time.

 

JMHO

 

Coss

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  • 11 months later...

A single parent is better than two arguing parents generally. However if your arguments are based around one parent being unreasonable, then separation/divorce could be particularly difficult.

 

Here in Australia a judge just recently awarded sole custody to a mother because she refused to bring the children to a court appointed location so the father can spend time with them.

 

Many countries systems work on the theory that the mother is the best in a single parent scenario. This has been founded on myth, wives tales and modern urban feminism. There is little scientific fact with regards to this. Many of the "research" papers put forward to government bodies are full of flaws and long drawn bow arguments and would never be published in a real scientific publication.

 

You should look at who would be the best role model for the children? Who has the best means to look after the children? Where are they best going to be brought up? Which culture do you want them to reflect?

 

The reason I say this is that I know many Thais will not think twice taking to their kids with a cane. Boys are particularly spoiled in Thailand and from my experience have a good chance growing up being lazy without a strong role model. Girls will tend to grow up thinking a man should provide for them rather than realizing that relationships are actually a partnership.

 

So it really depends on how you want your kids to grow up?

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