Jump to content

Newbie in Bangkok: Part IV

Guest

By Guest,
in Trip Reports

Recommended Posts

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Part III saw me deposited in the car park of the famous Nana Hotel in company with my two friends from the U.S.A - Andy, the ever-smiling and relentlessly cheerful guy, and Bill, Andy?s opposite- a doleful looking and mainly silent man. It would have been about 1.00 am and we had taken the decision to visit the Angels disco whilst we had all been quite comfortably ensconced in the Thermae. Had we burned our bridges?

 

 

 

Neither Bill nor myself had been to the Nana disco despite Bill being resident in Bangkok. I, for one, had never even heard of it. If this was a blow-out then we would have to consider Plan B. The problem might just arise when it became evident there was an absence of a Plan B. Even if we only stayed for a few minutes and a quick drink then it would be too late to head back to Thermae. NEP would be shutting up shop in an hour from now. We might end up just hanging around the food stalls in the street and seeing what turned up. I guess that would be our Plan B then?

 

 

 

?This?ll be different? I thought as we strode into the foyer of the Nana. The foyer was certainly different. The place was thronged with dozens of people, male and female. It looked absolutely chaotic. Some people (like us) were just arriving. Others seemed to be leaving. But the main bulk of people were neither coming or going. They were just milling about. Milling about noisily and aimlessly. Most of the noise was music, clearly the sound of our final destination, emanating from the far side of the foyer directly ahead of us. The rhythmic and booming bass wrapped itself around the clamour of raised voices and, amazingly, I saw the hotel reception desk with its staff, seemingly oblivious to the commotion, actually attempting to function amidst the chaos. Mad, mad, and mad!

 

 

 

I only had a few seconds to take in this whole scene as Andy propelled us toward the constantly opening and closing doors that led into the disco itself. As if I was diving into deep water I took a deep breath and then we were inside the heart of the machine. Welcome to Angels discotheque boys. It?s a bit loud in here so I?ll shout ? sorry if I spit in your ear while I do so. ?This is Angels Disco then ? do you want a drink Andy? Bill??

 

 

 

Before going any further let me declare another of my little prejudices. It?s quite simply ? discos. It does not matter how they dress up their titles (?Nightclubs? they?re called in the UK, which doesn?t quite do it for me, conjuring up, as it does, images of smoky pre-war Berlin drinking dives. Think Liza Minnelli in ?Cabaret?. That kind of set-up. ?Rave? is something quite different, or it should be ? think of illegal warehouse parties on the outskirts of London or tented venues in the leafy Home Counties ? but a ?rave? really merely describes a different kind of disco in 2002).

 

 

 

Just the word ?disco? (very seventies ? ugh!) brings me out in a cold sweat. It probably started with school discos, that rite of passage endured by most people in their early teens, enjoyed at the time only by those very few attractive and popular kids. I was never a member of this hallowed inner circle. Neither were 80% of the other kids as I remember. We functioned as window dressing or film extras, standing around in a circle of acne and strange new hormonal yearnings. The only fun to be had was checking how badly the Geography teacher danced whilst simultaneously scoffing at the desperate attempts of Mr Jenkins (English and PE) to ?get down with the kids ? right on daddio?.

 

 

 

In later life I made a conscious attempt to avoid these hell-pits. It didn?t make any difference though. After 6 pints of lager in some manky pub somebody (the prattiest and prettiest one usually) would always suggest ?going to a club? - and off we would troop, mainly with the purpose of getting another alcoholic drink after the official Government enforced bed-time of 11.00 pm. Once there we would hold floppy plastic glasses filled with warm cats piss, gaze at the dance floor and immediately be transported back to the school disco. At some point there would be a fight. The ?bouncers? would gleefully involve themselves with the combatants dispensing instant justice and then it would be time to get out. Then there was the problem of actually getting home in the wee small hours. It would almost always be raining a fine drizzle and the taxi alone would cost enough to stave off the national debt of a third world country. Awake in the morning ? always alone ? and the evidence of this stimulating evening?s entertainment would be manifest in the huge pile of loose change that fell from the pockets of your trousers.

 

 

 

Oh ? I did try dancing?once. Nuff said about that eh?

 

 

 

I avoid discos. I have to. I like my sanity too much.

 

 

 

So anyway, back to the main story. I couldn?t get too worked up about yet another bloody nightclub now could I? Okay ? so it?s in Bangkok. And? So? Why should I want to be in a disco when I?m in Bangkok for Chrissakes? What is the point of that? The whole point as I see it is that being in Bangkok I don?t NEED to go to a bloody disco or nightclub or whatever you want to call the blasted places. And before I forget ? the music is always, always, always, irredeemably and uniformly CRAP.

 

 

 

If you?ve read this far ? thank you. I needed to vent my spleen for a minute back there. The good news is about to arrive.

 

 

 

The good news is?

 

 

 

The really good news is?

 

 

 

Quite simply?

 

 

 

The Nana Disco is not like any disco I?ve ever been in my whole life. The Nana Disco (as I shall call it to avoid confusion) was simply ? and I?ll use a word that will sound a little strange in this context ? magnificent. Bloody marvellous. Those of you that have actually been there will think this a little over the top. I don?t care. I was immersed in the Nana Disco. It was a feast for all the senses I know about, with a little plate of nibbles for those senses that I was only just becoming aware of.

 

 

 

For those who haven?t been then I?ll try to paint a picture for you. I?ll need a little help though. First of all - think of some really trashy and irritating disco hit. That Kylie Minogue tune would be appropriate. ?Can?t Get You Out of my Head? It?s got that hook that kinda goes ?Na Na Na ? Na Na Na Na Na? You can?t get much more appropriate than that. Is she singing about the Nana Disco? Somehow I doubt it! To me though she always will be ? every time I hear it I?ll be back in that room.

 

 

 

Got that tune in your head yet? Right ? next, lay down a thumping bass beat. Deep, deep, deep. One that you can feel in your chest. Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom,. Don?t forget the ?Nanana Nana nanana? . That?s it. You got it. Let?s go then.

 

 

 

You?re in a largish room. It?s dark, but not that dark. There are the obligatory flashing lights of course. What you see as the lights flash will take your brain and gives it a nice little sideways twist. It?s like a ?disco? ? but better. The place is heaving, packed to the gunwales, with girls. Beautiful girls. Sure, you?re not the only farang in the place, but the ratio of girls to men is about 10 to 1. At least.

 

 

 

Boom, boom, boom, boom, (the tune has been re-mixed to within an inch of its life and it is going on for a very long time ? you can?t help picking up on the rhythm).

 

 

 

The girls. Ah, the girls! ? all the girls are dancing as far as I can see. Not the shiffle shuffle of a go-go dancer going through the motions for the umpteenth time. These girls are dancing with joy. Sheer joy. They are dancing as though it?s the night before the comet hits or the bomb drops. They are dancing on their own, in groups, on the raised bit of dancefloor by the DJ booth. They are dancing on the tables. On the chairs. They are dancing with guys like you. There is a song called ?Lost in Music? (I forget who did it and it isn?t important anyway) and these people are the perfect illustration of that song. They are lost in music all right. And you want to join them and lose yourself as well.

 

 

 

Can you just move to one side a little way? Andy?s coming through trying to balance three drinks in his hands. He?s spilling more than we?re going to get! Jesus ? it cannot be healthy to smile that much all the time. Surely it hurts?

 

?I?m gonna do a circuit. Coming?? , says Andy, already moving onto the dancefloor.

 

 

 

?Right behind you mate. Coming Bill??

 

 

 

?I?ll just stay right here. Don?t get lost now? And then something else amazing happens. Bill is smiling! He?s switched onto the atmosphere. Maybe the music isn?t to his taste but his head is nodding away to little Kylie and her Nana Hotel tribute song.

 

 

 

Twitching away like a Quasimodo with Parkinson?s I follow the smiling one into the mass of people. He keeps turning around and I know he?s saying something. I can?t hear a bloody word. I just nod and grin inanely and give a thumbs up sign ? spilling a little more of my drink as my elbow is nudged by a dancing body.

 

 

 

We?ve worked our way back to the bar, just adjacent to the entrance. We are about to start the final leg back to where we left Bill when I collide with Andy?s back. He has stopped dead. I can see why.

 

 

 

There is a girl dancing on a chair. She has dark brown curly hair and this itself is striking. Not half as striking as her expression though. She is dancing with her eyes wide open. Stretched and strained wide open as if about to attack something ? or someone. She dances jerkily to the music all the while keeping this super-serious expression. And that peculiar thing that she is doing with her eyes? Weird. She reminds me of a techno / house version of a traditional dancer. A temple dancer at this, this loud and fantastic temple of the hedonistic. The whole image is compelling. No wonder Andy pulled up dead. We stand there watching this?show. A show is what we are getting. She knows we are watching and for a second her expression cracks and she smiles and shouts at the top of her friend?s head, a girl dancing next to her, dancing in her own little world. Before the spell breaks the impassive expression returns and she continues her strange, wide-eyed, wild dancing.

 

 

 

Neither Andy nor myself are in any hurry to move along, but Bill probably needs another J.D and Coke so I tear myself away and move to the bar whilst drinking the last of my own gin and tonic on the move, the ice melted long ago.

 

 

 

Bill is grateful for the drink. He is still smiling and he appears to have company already. I have a good look at the girl when she can?t see me gawping at her. No wonder he?s smiling.

 

 

 

I beckon to Andy and he tilts his down as I shout in his ear.

 

 

 

?I hope you?ve got a good lawyer mate?

 

 

 

?Why?s that?? Grin, grin.

 

 

 

??Cos I?m going to sue your arse off after this. Mental distress. This is f****ing amazing?

 

 

 

?Yeah? Told you so didn?t I? ? Smile, smile, smile.

 

 

 

?You sir. You sir, are a complete and utter bastard? (This is a term of affection where I live by the way. I was on Cloud 9 and rising).

 

 

 

?Thanks. Hey ? looks like you?ve been caught?

 

 

 

This last remark accompanied a vice-like grip around my waist. I was then pulled to the left, then to the right, then back to the left. I was nearly dancing! Nearly but not quite. The invisible force was a very short girl called ?B? (another ?B?!). She was tiny. Really tiny. But perfectly proportioned. And she had short hair that had been gelled up into a crazy spiky affair. She was like Gizmo from ?Gremlins?. But beautiful of course. I wonder what happens if I feed her or give her water at this time of night? It can?t any crazier. Can it?

 

 

 

?B? (Gizmo) was all energy. I was not going anywhere. Ah f**** it. Nobody?s going to see me. If I look like a right prat dancing with Kylie?s stuntwoman. It?s not as if I?m some kind of Mister Cool Guy. Give it up. Dance.

 

 

 

And I danced.

 

 

 

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was all over far too quickly. Remember we didn?t get there until an hour before it was due to shut. At 2.00 the party was over. Well ? Phase 1 of the party was over. Phase 2 was looking like it could be very good indeed. Gizmo had surgically attached herself to me somewhere around my thigh. Yep, I was captured alright. I had a mild flash of worry about Gizmo. She was, thankfully, not as young as I had begun to fear for a few minutes. She was tiny though.

 

 

 

I made plans for all of us (by this time our party had grown to about 7 people) to just go across the road to my hotel and to get some food, maybe another drink. Nobody needed to be asked twice and we all trooped into the Dynasty Inn and flopped into easy chairs.

 

 

 

Andy ? yes, he was still grinning away (how does he do that? Was he cross bred with an Osmond or something?) well Andy was chattering away in Thai to all and sundry, whether they were Thai or not. It was Andy who told me that I might have a problem.

 

 

 

?Problem, whaddya mean, a problem ? pass that ashtray while you?re there mate ? what problem?

 

 

 

The problem was no such thing. At least if it WAS a problem then I really want more problems like this one. In short Gizmo?s friend ? ?N? ? wanted in. It looked as though I was going to be indulging in a ?ménage a trois? (or perhaps, a ?folies a trois?. What if her friend was a nutter or something. I still had memories of my very first night in Bangkok and the unstable TV fanatic).

 

 

 

I looked over, really for the first time, at ?N?. To be perfectly honest I would have been perfectly happy with either one of them. But both? Sounds great. But what if I just ended up in the room with these two watching soap operas on my telly, raiding the fridge all night and generally being a bit of a pain. That might not be so great.

 

 

 

Only one way to find out.

 

 

 

Actually getting ?B? and ?N? past the desk was not straightforward. I hadn?t seen the nightduty girl before. She was definitely laying down the law to Gizmo. ?N? looked mightily brassed off and walked off towards the exit.

 

 

 

?Where?s she going??

 

 

 

Gizmo said ?Only one guest allowed. She go?

 

 

 

That can?t be right. Not from what I?d seen in the last few days. I asked ?N? to hold her horses and she stopped, an expression on her face that would have rivalled Bill?s pre-disco expression (but without the moustache).

 

 

 

It turns out that the wheels could be greased by the donation of 300 baht to the nightduty clerk. Cheeky bitch! For only 300 baht I had very nearly lost the whole happy little party that I was planning. I bunged her 300 baht with no ill grace (smiling like Andy) and we walked through to the second block at the rear. Once in the lift and the doors were closed ? Gizmo let out a little yelp and then lifted her left arm, bent at the elbow. She then struck her left arm with her right hand (a gesture that I am familiar with). Clearly addressing the clerk in the other building she exclaimed ?F*** you too!? and then nearly collapsed laughing. It was contagious. ?F**** you too? I imitated. ?N? watched this silliness with a half-smile on her face. I don?t think she knew what we were doing. I don?t think I did for that matter.

 

 

 

?F*** you tooooooo?

 

 

 

I think it is sufficient to let your imaginations run with what occurred in my room that night. Yes, it was most pleasant indeed. So was the morning. And the early afternoon. For the record ? 1000 each plus tips / taxi fares. I really hate that part and I get it out of the way as soon as I possibly can. A very, very nice time was had by all (I presume that the two girls were, at least, mildly distracted!).

 

 

 

For reference the girls told me that they frequent the Soi 7 Beer Garden during the afternoon. That?s noted for my next visit. Maybe next time I won?t be so greedy.

 

 

 

So that?s this little instalment just about finished. If you have got that Kylie record in your head by now then the bad news is that it?s going to be stuck there for a good few hours yet! Nana Nana Nana Nana ? Can?t get it out of my head. Don?t want to get it out of my head. Cheers Kylie and goodnight.

 

 

 

Next: The Eden Club.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ThaiGirlLover Newbie

ThaiGirlLover

Posted
Posted

Hi carew65,

 

 

 

I have the same loathing that you have of the discos - mine stems from having worked in one during my formative years. However I am in full agreement that the Nana Disco is a sight to be seen. Your description was perfect.

 

 

 

I made the mistake of visiting the disco on my last night and did not have the chance to go back. Also, I was there with my girl for the night and I was still targeted by many of the other girls (10 to 1 ratio is a fair assessment). There were several sharp words spoken in Thai and my 'date' quickly pulled me out of there.

 

 

 

When I am back in LOS (May 25th), Nana Disco is definitely on my agenda.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
greg Newbie

greg

Posted
Posted

Another Great post Carew.

 

 

 

I know what you mean about Disco's.

 

 

 

On my 1st ever trip to LOS my 2 mates who were experts took me to my first Disco 4 days before we were going home.

 

 

 

Bastards! They knew all along I would love it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Nice post.

 

 

 

Does this hotel normally charge a joiner fee? (or was the running her own game?)

 

 

 

Also.. if you would of brought 4 girls to your room, would you of had to pay for 3 x 300?

 

 

 

 

 

troydeere

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...