Newbie in Bangkok: Part V. Final.

[Guest]

The scene:

 

 

 

A pub, somewhere in the London suburbs. It?s 8.30pm and there are only six customers in the place. Four young women enter, apparently a bit of a girls night out, and three of them sit around a low table in the middle of the room where they can see and be seen. The fourth stands at the bar waving a twenty pound note at the back of a barman who couldn?t care less ? he?ll attend to the customers in his own time.

 

 

 

In the corner of the room a young man is unwrapping lengths of cable and connecting them to two PA speakers on stands; karaoke night. Very popular. Fun for all generations and sexes innit? ?I Will Survive? through to ?L?l ?ol Wine Drinker Me?. Packs ?em in. Some of ?em are really good singers. Honest. Well, that?s what he tells them, and it keeps them coming back for more, week in, week out.

 

 

 

It?s doubtful that anyone has registered the guy sitting at the bar, (on his own, very unhealthy that is) idly tracing his finger around the words ?Guinness? that have been carved, artistically, into the display surrounding the beer pump. It?s a warm-ish night for this time of year but he?s keeping his jacket on. Perhaps he feels cold.

 

 

 

The girl manages to get served and the reluctant barman drags himself around the optics whilst keeping one eye on the TV which is wringing the last drips of excitement from Arsenal?s winning double. The girl has a lazy look around the bar and makes brief eye-contact with the stranger at the bar. Just as quickly she looks away. Not her type at all. Bit weird if you ask her.

 

 

 

Back at the table she hands out the first of the drinks and then makes a quick return to collect her own. Hopefully they won?t have to do too much drink buying tonight. It?s a bit early yet, but some talent, or sad mug, is bound to arrive sooner or later and shoulder the financial hardship that £8.25 a round is going to bring them if things don?t shape up.

 

 

 

That fella is definitely a weirdo, she thinks again. Now he?s just staring into space. Probably been here since lunchtime and now pissed out of his tree. Another loser.

 

 

 

The Gang of Four soon tire of hearing the karaoke man intoning ?One, one. Two, two? and one of their number is dispatched to the jukebox with a two pound coin and instructions to ?put something good on?.

 

 

 

?There is nothing good on here? she thinks and flicks through the CDs twice before finding a complilation album which has at least a few tunes that she and her friends actually recognise.

 

 

 

The first record she has chosen starts before she gets back to her friends. It?s Kylie Minogue ?Can?t get you out of my Head?. It?s good this one. ?La, la, la. La, lalala la?? She has a little self-concious dance in front of the table.

 

 

 

?Oooh ? she?s pissed already?

 

?Fuck off ya bitch, it?s you what?s pissed? Laughter.

 

 

 

One nudges another, ?What?s up with him then??

 

?Who??

 

?At the bar, black jacket, no, don?t be so obvious, don?t look?

 

?What?s he doing??

 

?He?s laughing?

 

?Yeah, he?s a fucking nutter. He was staring at the wall before?

 

?He?s only fucking singing along to Kylie now?

 

?No!?

 

?Yeah ? serious. He?s got to be at least thirty?

 

?Told you he was a nutter didn?t I??

 

 

 

 

 

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Bangkok ? two weeks earlier.

 

 

 

One thought dominates the day. It?s the last day. It doesn?t matter how I try to block it out, I have a ?plane to catch. It leaves Bangkok at 0030 hours tomorrow according to the ticket. Well that?s tonight to all intents and purposes. That means that I have to pay for a night in the hotel even though I won?t be here. Talk about rubbing it in.

 

 

 

I spend most of the day doing what I do best; mooching about within a radius of a mile from the Dynasty Inn, picking up bits of shopping and presents for the guys back at work. Penis shaped cigarette lighter? I know a chap who?d love that. Classy.

 

 

 

My intention on the last day was to go out with a bang. Fnnarr, fnnarr. I would go to The Eden Club. Only trouble was, where the bloody hell was the Eden Club?

 

 

 

I?d been in the Thermae a couple of nights previously and mentioned Eden?s to an English guy who had been sitting nearby earlier in the evening.

 

 

 

?Edens? Oh ? it?s good is Edens. I like to go there when I can afford it. The girls there, well to be honest, they?re not the best lookers or anything but they know what they?re doing and that?s much more important. You should go to Eden?s?

 

 

 

?Well, yeah, I will do, but where is it??

 

 

 

?Not far from here. It?s Soi 7/1.

 

 

 

?Soi Seventy One??, I said, thinking that didn?t sound too close to me.

 

 

 

?No. Soi Seven ? stroke ? one?

 

?How?s that work then??

 

 

 

?Well, you?ve got Soi 7 right? The ?1? means it?s one of the smaller streets just after it which isn?t a proper Soi in its own right. See what I mean??

 

 

 

?Yes. I think I should be able to find it?

 

 

 

?Easy mate. Can?t miss Edens. It?s a good place is Edens. I?ve been a few times..?

 

 

 

?You said?

 

 

 

?Run by a French bloke is Edens. He?s got some good girls in there. Not the best lookers mind. You won?t find any superstars at Edens. There?s other places if that?s what you are after. But, y?see, the girls at Edens know what they?re doing. No messing about?

 

 

 

I realised that the conversation was about to go on another circular journey and I changed the subject ? eventually. At least I now knew where Eden?s actually was. Were there any bad reports about the place at all? I?d read on the Nanaplaza message board a very long thread which had contained a few negative comments. The owner ? must be this French chap ? had himself replied on this thread and the gist of most of his postings were ?no problem? or ?ask the girls?. For anything ?special? it was recommended that you telephone beforehand. How special would that have to be? I knew that the speciality ? the whole point of Edens- was that you were expected to take at least two girls. I wondered, what kind of service would necessitate a prior ?phone call? Having two girls abseiling down the side of the building while you were dressed as Batman perhaps? Hmm, now there?s a thought?

 

 

 

On the day in question ? the last day ? I had a plan. I was minus the Batman outfit by the time I walked along Sukhumvit towards Soi 7/1 (it was too warm and the reception staff at the Dynasty Inn, who, whilst they may have seen many things in their time, might just have thought this a little too odd, Batman drinking Singha? this is a joke, honestly. Zap. Kapow! Or is it?). I had a pocket full of baht and plenty of time.

 

 

 

?I?m happy. I?m feeling glad

 

I?ve got sunshine.

 

In a bag??

 

 

 

One thing I had remembered was that it was no good turning up late at Eden?s. I couldn?t remember why, for the life of me. Apparently, I thought, getting there at about 2pm - or as soon after the place opened - was the best option, to be sure of getting exactly what you were after. What was I after? I was no stranger to this three-in-a-bed mullarkey by this time, so I reckoned a bit more of the same would be quite enough for me. I wasn?t going to be that fussy. It was my last day for Chrissakes. I was only really going to ?tick it off the list? as it were. Pack as much in as possible. I didn?t want to be back in the UK and giving it all the old ?I wish I?d done that when I was in Bangkok?. It?s a bloody long way to pop back because you forgot to do something.

 

 

 

Going to a club in the middle of the day was a bit of a different proposition to hanging around the beer bars. I could feel my bottle going! What if I walked in there and felt like a right spare end? Strange that isn?t it? Still, I had time for a drink. A bit of Dutch courage if you like, just to loosen up the slightly inhibiting feeling that I was getting. Weird and no mistake when I considered some of the things that I had already experienced.

 

 

 

You will all know the place I?m about to describe, and if I wasn?t such an idle bugger I would have looked it up and done this report properly, but I?ll describe it. It?s like a whole little colony of bars, they are all the same design and layout save for one or two minor tweaks and differences. It could be the ?Sukhumvit Square? that I had walked past many times but, whatever, it?s roughly across the road from Clinton Plaza (very roughly). I?d had a couple (of drinks) in one of the bars about two nights before. The young man and woman who ran it were a great laugh. She had lived in Canada for a while and really freaked me out with some magic tricks that she tried out on me. She said she?d show me how she knew what card that I?d memorised but I was quite happy to be amazed. I ended up staying for about an hour and a half, just having a nice relaxing drink and chat. I only left when it occurred to me that her next trick might be sawing farang in half or something like that.

 

 

 

 

 

On the last day (Eden Day) this couple weren?t in their bar. It was unstaffed at 1.30pm. I went to the one next to it for a quick gin and tonic (love the fact that it?s refreshing and has ice in it. I?m a beer man myself but I was drinking far too many little bottles of Carlsberg and switched to shorts by Day 2).

 

 

 

I was talking away to the ladies there. Things were slow for them at that time of day and it was very hot. These bars have a barrage of portable fans in them as opposed to the seemingly universal air-con.

 

 

 

One of the most common questions that I was used to fielding was ?when do you leave Thailand?. When it was posed to me in this little bar by the Connect 4 Queen, I answered ?Tonight?. Immediately I began to get choked.

 

 

 

Tonight! I wanted to extend my stay. I couldn?t of course. I had to work - to make the money to have the goodies. That?s life. No money, no honey. Still. Tonight. The next day I would be back in the Land of Biles. What a result eh?

 

 

 

So I had another gin. And then another. I lost a few Connect 4 games. I won a few. I had to keep checking my watch, counting down the hours to the time when I would definitely have to be back at the Dynasty Inn, packing my kit. Between then and now I would go to Eden?s. No hurry, no worry.

 

 

 

I made my move eventually, although by now it was nearer to 4 o?clock than 2 o?clock. The gins must have been pretty potent because I was walking on the ?wrong? side of Sukhumvit for some minutes before I realised I needed to be on the other side of the road (note for those even newbier than me ? evens one side, odds the other ? and they don?t line up neatly either).

 

 

 

Soi 7/1 was easy to find. It was just a case of remembering to keep looking up for signs every now and again. There was a clear finger-post indicating my destination (Soi 7/1 ? not ?The Eden Club?!) on the footway of Sukhumvit. I could feel my bottle slipping again as I walked down this short stubby road and saw The Eden Club on the right hand side.

 

 

 

?I actually could do with a bottle of mineral water? I thought, giving myself an instant excuse to bottle out for a few minutes and sort myself out. I walked back to the main drag and bought my water. Procrastination is the thief of time and all that. A quick look at my watch and I realised that I would have to get a move on. ?Stop messing about and get in there. You can always come straight back out if you get freaked out by it? I said to myself.

 

 

 

?I?m useless, but not for long

 

The future

 

Is coming on??

 

 

 

Back along Soi 7/1 and outside the club were sat about half a dozen girls. They obviously worked there and were having a break or just a bit of fresh air. I really couldn?t have been down there by chance, there really wasn?t anything that I could see that would bring a lone farang down there ? and they knew it.

 

 

 

One of them stood up and indicated the entrance which is up a short flight of steps. All smiles from all of them. Nervous smile from your intrepid reporter. The strange thing was that as soon as I went in, they all followed me (I now know why, but I felt a bit worried at the time that I was going to compromise myself too soon, cut off my escape plan and risk upsetting the ladies. I?m just an old fashioned guy at heart.)

 

 

 

It took me about a minute to register my surroundings when I first got inside the Eden Club. It was bright sunshine outside and the interior of the club was quite dark. I nearly barged into one of the stools by the bar. Luckily I didn?t but grabbed it and swung myself into it, affecting the kind of nonchalance that I am so pathetically poor at when I am in a new situation (qv. Thermae visit in Part IV).

 

 

 

It was a bar. Same as any bar I?ve ever been in, if a bit darker. There were rows of spirits behind the bar as you?d expect, but a lot of the bottles had hand-written labels on them; ?For the Friends of John xxxxxx? and so on. Great, the personal touch. I reflected on what a good idea this was. Buy a whole bottle, have it marked up, and even if you can?t get to Bangkok yourself you can still buy your friends a drink. The lucky bastards.

 

 

 

I was the only guy in there. Good thing? Bad thing? I wasn?t sure. Ladies were lining themselves up by the wall behind me. I had to disagree with my Intelligence Officer from the Thermae. They all looked just fine and rinky-dinky to me. This was going to be another ?kiddie in sweetshop? type scenario. I need a drink. Not an alcoholic one. A Coke would hit the spot. Dry mouth and all that.

 

 

 

The owner attended to me as soon as I had sat down. I?ve seen his name written up elsewhere but I?m not sure if there has been a missed breach of etiquette so I?ll just call him ?M?. Well, he?s French alright. I don?t know what I must have been expecting ( a mafia don or something!) but M wasn?t it.

 

 

 

M is friendly without being smarmy with it. He gives it to you with both barrells and tells you exactly what the score in Edens is. He put me at ease straight away. I don?t know if it is a technique that he has developed but one of the first things he said to me when I said that I hadn?t been before was ?Oh, I thought I knew you from somewhere. I was sure you?d been here before. No? Okay. I?ll just explain what the club is all about?

 

 

 

If you are a shy boy then don?t worry about Edens. Go along. M will spell it out for you and I doubt that there aren?t many requests that he hasn?t heard. You won?t shock him. To illustrate what he was telling me he placed a laminated card in front of me which displayed all the prices. Quite clearly stated on this card is that the Eden is really all about taking 2 girls ? however, this is not mandatory. It?s quite okay to take one but as M says ?You can do that anywhere around here. This is a speciality club?. He didn?t have to tell me that ? he was talking to somebody else at the time, but I?ll come onto that later, I?m racing ahead.

 

 

 

The figures pan out like this. Each girl is 1600 baht. You take two so that?s 3200 baht. Even I can work that out. There is no bar-fine. You get 90 minutes. If you are not happy with the service then you don?t pay (I wonder if this has ever happened? Somehow I doubt it). There was also some spiel and prices for taking the girls away. I didn?t intend to do this (on this occasion anyway) so I didn?t really make a note of it but I believe that it was about 4000 baht in the afternoon/early evening but dropped to something like 2500 around about midnight.

 

 

 

It does make the whole thing sound a bit like ordering a pizza but at least there is no confusion.

 

 

 

I read elsewhere on this board that if you email M then he will email a JPEG of this very menu. How cool is that? One of the replies to this post sympathised with M as he is now very likely to get inundated with requests for this. I suppose I?m not helping much now am I?

 

 

 

I opened my tab with a Coke and gazed around the small bar, looking, but trying to avoid any outright staring, at the girls. This is no mean trick I can tell you.

 

 

 

Oh, the Yellow Line. Can?t forget the famous Yellow Line now can I? I had to peer around for it a bit. It runs down a wall and for all I know along the carpet but it wasn?t that obvious to me. The Yellow Line is the DMZ. Girls who stand on the left of it ? as you look at it with your back to the bar ? do anal. To the right of it and they won?t, but they?ll oblige with the other two err? methods. If you are a fan of anal, or have never tried it, then you?ll be quite happy in Eden. I have a recollection that there were more girls to the left than the right if you get my drift.

 

 

 

I was taking my time with the drink and I probably wouldn?t hang about again. In fact I had another. I read on the board that the reason that guys feel pressured is that the girls get a tad miffed and think they are not attractive or fancied. What happens then is that they tend to sod off back outside if you aren?t quick. It really wasn?t a problem for me. I was hot and thirsty and I looked hot and thirsty. They still buggered off though! Only a few remained.

 

 

 

And then the door opened.

 

 

 

If you want an object lesson on how NOT to behave in Edens then read on.

 

 

 

Two guys ? I am ashamed to say that they were English ? staggered in. This is not just a figure of speech. They were as pissed as newts. Both of them looked as though they?d been dressed by burglars and all they were after was more beer. They made this quite clear.

 

 

 

M launched into his introductory talk and profferred the menu. The louder of the two (and boy was he loud) waved him away and said:

 

 

 

?Not interested in girls mate, giz uz two lagers. Anything. Carlsberg. Whatever? His speech was slurred to say the least. His mate looked on the point of collapse. (M ? if you are reading this, you must know who I am by now!)

 

 

 

Every post that I have made thus far I have treated you to one of my prejudices. Well, these two dickheads were the acme of another of my favourite pet hates. Obnoxious drunken witless bastards. Drunk is fine, but then there is a certain type of drunk that you just know is on a hair trigger. One minute they are your best mate (right!) and the next they can just turn. I have an inbuilt radar for these arseholes. These two could have stayed back in England and got shit-faced. No ? they had to follow me to South-East Asia just in case I didn?t get enough of this kind of bollocks when I am at home.

 

 

 

Course, I felt like a right banana sitting there with my Coke in my hand.

 

 

 

M handled it beautifully. It took him two attempts but eventually the penny dropped with the Twinkle Twins. This is where I heard the line about drinking beer or getting one girl at any other bar in the area from M.

 

 

 

?This is a speciality club ? it is not a bar?

 

 

 

Amoeba Brain looked around at the bottles of liquor and was obviously having trouble with this concept. I clocked his eyes and he was seriously gone. He had that confused expression that you only see in weary drunks and new babies.

 

 

 

?Oh, right. Right then. No, no,no s?alright. We?ll go then? He actually managed to look a bit indignant. Both of them tottered out into the sunshine. The door closed and peace reigned.

 

 

 

The plus side to this interruption (there?s always a plus side right?) is that all the girls had trouped back to the waiting area from wherever they had been. No point in hanging round.

 

 

 

It was an almost random decision. A girl, long hair, slim (narrows down the field a bit dunnit? Doh!) who was on the left hand side of the Yellow Line. She was pretty cool looking. I know you won?t believe me ? but her position in relation to the Line had no bearing whatsoever on my decision. Just because they do anal does not make it compulsory that you should indulge. As it happens I had a GF once who showed me a few things that I didn?t think nice girls knew about, and anal sex was one of them. So there. Mind you I was walking a bit strange afterwards?

 

 

 

Anyway, I spoke to M and done the deal. I was taken totally by surprise when I was grabbed from behind by a different girl who was obviously part of the package. We were then joined on by the girl I had picked. Ace. Now any pressure was off. I bought the girls a drink and a refill of Coke for myself and was then pampered by these two angels while we relaxed. Nice bit that was.

 

 

 

On the subject of which girls to take, M?s advice is to pick one you like and let her choose her running partner. If you?re not happy with that choice then it?s no problem. Just say so and another girl shalt appear. O Yea.

 

 

 

I?ll cut to the chase in a paragraph or so, but firstly I have to offer up a caveat. I?m in broad agreement with at least one of the board members in relation to graphic descriptions of sex. I?m not going to get off on typing it out and people are not going to be able to get off while reading it. For a start it?d read like something from a bad porn mag wouldn?t it? I?ll strike a balance as far as I can. Also I don?t want to get chucked off this board for trying to tittilate.

 

 

 

Trust me on this ? you will not be disappointed at the Eden Club. Not unless you are a drunken Brit looking for a lager in the late afternoon!

 

 

 

So ? back to business. I think that there are six rooms at the club. Whatever ? it ain?t big. While I had got the two ladies crawling all over me in the bar, all the rooms were occupied! Fine by me. The girls took my drink off me and brought their own with them when they guided me across the road to a hotel. Even better. I was well into this. Kinda sleazy ? kinda fun. A new one on me in any case. I?d not done the short-time hotel thing at all during my stay.

 

 

 

The room was okay. In fact I?ve stayed for days in a lot, lot worse. Usual things that you would find in a room except that there were two TV?s. One of them got switched on and a video next to it was flicked to ?Play?. This has got to be the supreme irony. Y?see - and I know it?s been said before many times - there?s a porn film on the telly, but you are in your own porn film at the same time. Guess which one?s better? Go stand in the corner if you think that the VHS version is the best ?cos you won?t like Edens!

 

 

 

The younger cutie seemed to take charge. She was first off for a shower. I was undressed by the one that I had picked. I?d better mention that they were both wearing little black numbers. Perhaps I could have done a bit better than jeans and t-shirt particularly when the button-fly on my 501?s caused a temporary hiccup in proceedings. ?Cut?. ?And Take 2?. Much rubbing and ?ummin? and ?aahing? and then my little helper got her kit off. Scorching body. Really, really nice. (Nice is such a shit word it should really be banned. Apparently it originally meant ?scrupulously exact?. Now it is the non-adjective that gets used far too often by myself. In the interests of accuracy then ? this girl?s body was scrupulously, exactly, perfect).

 

 

 

Shower time. I know that there is a school of thought that doesn?t like the shower pantomime. Different here. I was ?assisted? in my shower. In fact I didn?t have to do a damn thing. Lots of gel, warm water, two girls. Come on! Use your imaginations.

 

 

 

Bed. On the TV there was a scene on the video with a girl sitting astride a blokes face, giving him a blowjob while another girl busied herself between his legs giving oral attention to the place where the sun don?t shine. This was on a video. I couldn?t possibly comment on what I was up to. Once again though boys ? VHS or the real thing?

 

 

 

With 90 minutes to go there is no rush. It means that you can release the safety valve and still have time for another go (or another and another if you have the energy and age on your side. Or 100mg of Viagar I s?pose!).

 

 

 

During my time-out the girls put on a lesbian show. Very tasteful. I just lay there err?watching. The younger one had a 6? black strap-on which she put to its intended use. Funniest thing had to be me manoeuvring around looking for different viewing angles. What a dickhead! After this there was a bit of mutual bean-flicking between them and after only a few minutes I could take it no longer and had to get involved again with the older one. Not that the younger one just sat about. She busied herself around the back yard as it were ? thankfully not with the aforementioned strap-on. That would have been a bit ?ouch?, even for me. I wanted to be able to sit down on the ?plane didn?t I? But ? and here we go again ? if that?s your thing, then you?re in the right place in Eden.

 

 

 

I?m just re-checking that last couple of paragraphs. I?m not sure that it isn?t unnecessarily?whatsit. If it gets edited by me later then you know why.

 

 

 

Enough of such badinage! The rest of the time is locked away in my memory for those really dull days back here in the UK. There?s a lot of them, but I think I have enough antidotes to survive until Christmas.

 

 

 

Another shower and then a leisurely re-dressing. A bit of a contrast to Amsterdam. 15 minutes for 50 Euro and you come out of the place with your shirt on back to front, socks balled up in your shoes you leave the girl squatting over a sink with the tap on. Not good. Definitely not the Eden Experience.

 

 

 

Back in the club and then another drink while bathing in the afterglow. Another good thing here to mention is that you don?t get abandoned by the girls. Of course you get the drinks in but they still make a fuss of you, as opposed to just skedaddling after the dirty deed.

 

 

 

It had changed back in the club. There were two ?normal? Brits in there and they were brilliant and friendly people. Of course, conversation is difficult when you?re trying to hold it through a forest of girl?s limbs all stroking away ? it is rather distracting (am I complaining?). The two guys were waiting for a third who was still otherwise occupied, not in the hotel that I?d been in, but in one of the club?s rooms.

 

 

 

Turns out that these three chaps are 100% geezers. I can?t really talk much about them here as they wouldn?t thank me for it at all. All I will say is that we were all getting into deep, deep conversations on deep, deep subjects. We started buying drinks and to be perfectly truthful I think we would have been there a lot longer if not for my ?time-bomb? which was now T minus 4 hours to get to the airport. I was gutted. They were all going out for something to eat. Did I want to come? I have to go. You?ll still have time. I have to buy some more crap before I go. Sure? Sure.

 

 

 

I really wished that I hadn?t been going home. Unwittingly my three compatriots had now doubled the dread feeling that was uncurling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what a storming time they would be having while I was checking in my bags at Don Muang.

 

 

 

Still, all good things come to an end. I?d be back for more in the future. Life ain?t all beer and skittles is it? I?m nearly at the end of this, my final full-on trip, report. I?m looking forward to writing more after Christmas and New Year. In the meantime I shall pass the baton to those who are about to go or have just come back.

 

 

 

I drifted down Sukhumvit towards Soi Nana and the Dynasty Inn. I was slinging baht about like a man possessed. Boy, I came back with some daft crap and no mistake! Three fake Rolex. Why? Why not.? More clothes. Why not? I was going home.

 

 

 

Past the food stalls on the road near the entrance to NEP. Breathing in that wonderful street smell for the final hit before I could get back. Thinking of that dancer that I offed on my second night?

 

 

 

In the room I was almost distraught. I don?t think I have ever, ever had such a good time as I had had in Bangkok. And I had only just scraped the surface. Another shower ? but it was in the shower that I had my Archimidean moment. ?That?s it. I?ll come back at Christmas. I?ll book as soon as I get home?

 

 

 

At least I now had something to look forward to?Going to the pub was certainly going to be a poor substitute for what I knew awaited me in the Big Mango.

 

 

 

Roll on Christmas.

 

 

 

May this board sustain me until that time.

 

 

 

Thanks guys. Hope you enjoyed the ramblings of a true neophyte to the land of Smiles.

 

 

 

Carew.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the reports Carew. I can understand the feeling on leaving the LOS, a very sad thing indeed. Great posts, look forword to reading about your adventures in December.

[Guest]

sweet azzzzzz..

 

 

 

wow I bet you will liven up the pub back in England with your stories of los..because you sure have done it to us..

 

thanks for your reports , I am making my trip in July and yes Eden has always been on my list...

 

 

 

enjoyed the stories, cheers mate...

 

 

 

ohhhh yes I was the one asking about details...

 

well acually I am still interested to know if those freelancers you took form Nana were lesbian, or BI etc....

 

cheers mate...

 

and how much did you pay them again?..

 

 

 

ohhhh and one more thing for curiosity..

 

out of the two threesomes you had..the freelancers, or the Eden girls, which experience was best?...

 

or maybe they were both great huh?...

 

explain the difference if you please...

 

thanks..

[Guest]

Cheers fellas!

 

 

 

Mysteryman, if I could tell the lads in the pub and get this off my chest then believe me I would. I think this board is a much better option though!

 

 

 

Out of the two threesomes which was best? D'you know - if I had to make a snap decision I would have to say the two girls from the Nana. But they were totally different set-ups y'see? And no - they weren't bi (at least nothing happened in that direction. I suppose if I could have suggested it. What's the worst that can happen? "No"? Fine by me). Why did I enjoy the Nana more? This is purely a personal thing but off the top of my head I would say:

 

 

 

a) The time factor. I had all night and most of the next day so no pressure and a feast for all the senses. Money - 1000 baht each and I thing I bunged them another 500 each on top of that. It wasn't solicited. It was just pure profligacy on my part. I was on holiday and feeling happy and generous. Might have a slightly different attitude if I was living in Bangkok! Would possibly have a different attitude on my next visit for that matter. I've been spending way too much time on this board and read just about everything.

 

 

 

Because the initial set-up was a disco/nightclub then I could go for a little bit more self-delusion. It's that GFE (Girlfriend Experience) that another board that deals with the Red Light District of A'dam gets so many posts about. If you're a high roller in A'dam then it might just happen. In BKK it is par for the course.

 

 

 

So - both experiences were absolutely fantastic. The Eden visit is totally in yer face and possibly a more clinical experience. You know what's going to happen for definite because you've virtually (or actually) specified what is going to happen.

 

 

 

Does this make sense?

 

 

 

Two totally different and enjoyable experiences.

[Steve]

They say Vietnam vets who spent too much time 'in country' had a 1000 yard stare. LOS visitors have the 1,000 baht stare when they get back and it seems you had it.

 

Everyone wondering what that blank or meloncholy look is. I had it too....and still do.

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Very entertaining report, the Eden club is one of the 7 wonders of the world.

 

 

 

As you have alluded to in your final report it really does effect your outlook back in Farang land.

 

 

 

STH

[stumpy]

Great reports! Thanks for writing them, I really enjoyed reading them.

[Guest]

great just fantastic...

 

 

 

I really enjoy hearing stories in detail, thanks for sharing more with us....

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

carew65

 

That was what was needed a good report with sensational entertaining value. What do you do for a living as you have a knack for writing. You are now one of the lost souls so you have joined the rest of us. Only board members understand your feeling about los as we have all been there. I try and tell my friends about it and they think i'm mad. As the signature says it's bitten and bitten bad maybe see you in Nov/Dec. And oh WELCOME TO LOS

[Guest]

Once again guys, thanks for all the positive replies. As I said once before I was a tad intimidated when I first came onto this site, you know what it's like when you first come to a message board; it takes a little while to guage the 'feel' of the board before daring to post.

 

 

 

I don't write for a living (!) it's just something that keeps me out of the pub and from hanging around street corners. Looking back over my postings I cringe when I see real nasty glaring mistakes in punctuation or repetition, also, being able to work out how to bolden or italicise words would have helped in placing emphasis on certain bits. Never mind. I don't lay claim to being anything other than an enthusiast. Still, I was knocking 'em out whenever I could. I'm going to be stuck now for something to do, and I've got 'blocked' on other stuff that I've been working on. It's a very distracting place is Bangkok isn't it!

 

 

 

Now, I want to get rid of my 'Stranger' status. I don't want to just blast away any old nonsense though (cheating innit?) so it's going to be a while before I even get to 'Newbie' at this rate. I think I'll sign up to the whole site though as I see that there is a lot of stuff on the pay side that I would like to be able to access.

 

 

 

I can't seem to book a flight just yet for Christmas but I reckon next month will be just fine. I'll be putting an invitation out to rendezvous with anybody that's in town. I'll be there for longer this time and as well as visiting the places that I've already been to, I'll be looking to expand things a bit (ooh Er).

 

 

 

It was great hanging out with 'Andy' and 'Bill' - although I think I may have done an injustice to Bill; he's not that miserable , more sad-looking than anything else and his outlook on life, plus his tolerance of anybody and everything (where I was quick to condemn) showed him to be a true gentleman. There were a couple of guys in Nana who really looked as though they were about their teeth pulled, I think they were young guys from the middle east (Arab?) and I was a bit miffed that they looked so pissed off all the time. Why bother coming out to sit there like a wet weekend? Bill said that they couldn't help it. It's just the way some people are, where they live, how their version of enjoyment may differ from mine but that they couldn't help it. What a nice guy! I thought I was supposed to be the tolerant one! Guess I was wrong.

 

 

 

Back in dear old Blighty (God bless yer, Mary Poppins) I'm not getting frustrated by these farang chick prick-teasers anymore. Excellent side-effect! The longtime GF is quite happy about me returning at Christmas (just as well) - shame there ain't a girlie version of BKK. Bet the milkman is around when I've left Heathrow, and the postman, and the guy from the supermarket. Ah wha'fuck? What's sauce for the goose etc...

 

 

 

Once again, thanks for reading my ramblings. I've enjoyed it immensely.