The Old Sarge's War Stories - Patpong 1971

[Guest]

OK Guys;

 

 

 

Here goes another war story, Vietnam War that is. I know that this is ancient history to a lot of you, but there are still some of us left that remember that far back.

 

 

 

I was stationed with the US Embassy at the time. Still a single man I frequented all of the tourist places as well as many of my own discovery. One of my favorites was "Sarge's", an upstairs drinking establishment and short order place run by a retired Special Forces Sergeant and his Thai wife. Musta been his wife. He looked to stand about 6 foot, 18 inches tall and she was lucky to make 5 feet in high heels, but she was the boss! More than once I saw her grab a chair, drag it in front of him, climb on it and proceed to give him hell in both English and Thai, eyeball to eyeball.

 

 

 

Since this place was a favorite hangout for R&R types as well as upcountry types there were girls available. Normal rules, of course, except that Sarge looked after them as if they were his own daughters. You treated them with respect or else you were invited to leave, never gently.

 

 

 

One day, a few months before this story happened, one of the girls came up to me and showed me a tin US quarter dollar (equal to 5 baht at the time and a good sum then). Dang was worried since she had accepted it from a farang but - as she put it - "Not look right." It was suppose to be a 1970 clad (cupronickel on copper) coin, but it wasn't. Anyway, I bought it to put in my coin collection and paid her 5 Baht for it.

 

 

 

Needless to say, the word got around and bar girls from all over Patpong would approach me with foreign coins and bills that they weren't familiar with. Added some very interesting things to my collection that way.

 

 

 

Anyway, one Saturday afternoon I was sitting at the bar having a Singha when Pook came up and asked me if it were OK to accept German money. Taking a look at it, I asked who wanted to give it to her. She pointed out a rather scruffy overweight German tourist sitting at a booth with a couple of friends. I called Sarge over away from his watching Thai soap operas (he was addicted to them). I showed him the money which was Weimer Reich Marks, not worth the paper it was printed on. Sarge asked Pook (in Thai) to point out the man and she again indicated the German.

 

 

 

"Come on Paul" said Sarge and the three of us went over to the booth. When Sarge was polite, he was at his most dangerous. The poor tourist didn't know that, of course.

 

 

 

Sarge politely inquired as to whether the tourist had marks that he wanted to exchange. Of course, the answer was "Yah" and a handful of the obsolete currency was handed to Sarge. At the same time the tourist took the last bill from Pook and added it to the pile asking what the rate was.

 

 

 

That did it. Sarge more or less politely invited the tourist to take his patronage else. As I recall, the invitation went (in German, no less) "You son of a bitch, try to cheat me and my girls will you. You're outta here!" While saying that, he picked up the German tourist by the collar, carried him over to the stairs, and bodily threw him down them.

 

 

 

About 15 minutes later there was a commotion at the bottom of the stairs. Here came the somewhat worse for wear German back up the stairs, this time with a couple of Thai cops in tow. Little did he know that this was to be his second major mistake of the day. He started swearing and talking in German and English and pointing to Sarge and me. The senior policeman walked over to Sarge, "waied" politely and asked in Thai, what had happened. Also in Thai Sarge told him and pointed out who were witnesses. The policeman told me, in English, that the German claimed that he had been attacked by the Sarge while peacefully drinking. I assured him that the opposite was true and that the tourist had started the fight.

 

 

 

Both cops looked at each other, nodded and grabbed the German's arms, then threw him down the stairs again. You should have seen the look on his face as he realized, too late, that he had fucked up royally.

 

 

 

They then apologized to Sarge for bothering him and said that they would take the German to jail and let him sober up overnight unless Sarge wanted to prefer charges against him in which case, they would hold him until they had time to investigate the charges.

 

 

 

Since that might have entailed six months in jail, Sarge told them "Nah, just sober him up and send him home." Yep, you guessed it. The Thai cops took Sarge literally, let the German sober up, and them put him on the first plane out of Thailand to Germany with instructions never to return to the land of smiles ever again.

 

 

 

Felt that you all would enjoy the story. No moral to it unless it is to know who you are dealing with and to treat folks fairly.

 

 

 

Regards

 

 

 

Paul

 

The Old Sarge

 

 

 

PS: Sarge's is no longer. The bar closed about 20 yeas ago when Sarge fell sick. He died a few years later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Hi Sarge

 

 

 

Welcome to Nanaplaza. Enjoyed that story very much. How did Sarge take the tongue lashing from the little woman? Soiunds like he was quite the character. Would of liked to have met him.

[Guest]

Basically he just stood there and took it. He would look down towards the floor, speak softly to his lass in Thai probably saying such things as "Yes, dear." and "I'm sorry." among others. That was when she would let him get a word in edgewise of course.

 

 

 

The funniest thing was when she was finished, he would gently lift her off of her chair, hug her, and then return the chair to where she had gotten it. Within 15 minutes they then would be cuddling like a couple of teenagers in heat. God did that girl have a temper!

 

 

 

Glad to be here.

 

 

 

Paul

 

The Old Sarge

 

 

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Good post,

 

 

 

I'd give a lot to have been around then, how much was LT then Old Sarge.

 

 

 

STH

[BkkShaggy]

Love your story. Would like you to tell us more about night life in those days. How much did it cost for beer, food, etc?

[Guest]

At his height, probably better for him she was on the chair than withing striking distance from the floor.

[Guest]

Loved the story. A very enjoyable read. Does anybody know of any books available with similar short stories / anecdotes about life in LOS past and present.

 

 

 

Kipster

[Sarisin]

Great writing Sarge!

 

 

 

My first trip to the LOS was in '72 compliments of that little old thing goin' on next door.

 

 

 

I had a few days in the 'pong while they fixed my broke plane and I wish I could remember the details like you have. Just a blur of beer and vomit I'm afraid.

 

 

 

Keep the stories coming. I love 'em!!

[Ckrisg]

Kipster

 

 

 

There is a book of short stories on Bangkok called Bangkok Knights by Collin Piprell from Asia Books. Its a really good laugh and stories are similiar to the Old Sarge tales but I don't know if they are based on true stories.

 

 

 

If you are meeting up in Bangkok July will bring a copy back with me.

 

 

 

Chris

[Guest]

Cheers Chris. Will definately meet up, but it will more than likely be in Pattaya, as I leave Bangkok on 25th July to go to Patong beach until about 2/3rd of August. Well that's the plan anyway, but knowing me i'll probably still be in Bangkok in late July.