communication with your g/f

[Guest]

"What surprises me most is that the men hardly speak any thai, which make me wonder about communications. Could be a subject for an other thread. " - THALENOI

 

 

 

Well it is a new thread now and I didn't know whether this one should exist in Relationships or Language... but here it is anyway...

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I agree and I think that misunderstandings and misinterpretations of language may be some of the bigger problems that plague Farang/Thai relationships. I often hear long-term couples trying to make each other understood in some weird form of pidgeon Thai-glish. Though they often seem to understand each other quite well. I guess with time anything is possible, and feelings and emotions often speak for themselves. I guess talking about rocket science might be a bit of a challenge to some though.

 

 

 

Personally I try and speak Thai as much as I can with my girlfriend. I'd say the breakdown would be:

 

 

 

60% Thai.

 

30% English

 

and 10% Thaiglish (a habbit I'm trying to break, though I think my g/f is more guilty of it).

 

 

 

In fact my g/f speaks excellent English but she is more than inclined to want to speak Thai with me as she realises that I live in Thailand and it's more beneficial to me than English is to her. All in all though, I'd say we communicate well. There is always small misunderstandings here and there, but with our combined abilities in both languages we can often clear it up.

 

 

 

What do you think? How well do you communicate?

 

- comments, thoughts anyone?

 

 

 

FF

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

 

 

My wife and I communicate almost exclusively in Thai, much to her chagrin

 

 

 

After our last trip to my homecountry she has taken up learning English and wants me to speak to her in English. While she has made great progress, anything more than rudimentaries is much, much easier for me to explain in Thai.

 

(This may read a bit strange, what I mean is that trying to explain things in English to her means that I need to explain 3-4 times, and then still repeat myself in Thai. Might as well speak Thai the first time)

 

 

 

With the risk of sounding pompous, I would say though that my Thai is pretty decent. Nowhere near fluent, but I can hold my own in most conversations.

 

 

 

Sanuk!

 

 

[JJsushi]

I have a smattering of Thai and make liberal use of an English-Thai dictionary. he GF English is at subsistence level. The amazing thing is that there is very little error in the communication process. I think when one is limited in language skills there is a painstaking attempt to make sure that one is understood. I also think that the lack of extensive vocabulary doesn't allow for the use of innuendos and variations of meanings to be mis-interpreted. Unfortunately this only allows for utilitarian and abnormally short conversations. I am going to make a serious attempt at fluency so that I can enjoy casual and spontaneous conversation more.

[Fiery Jack]

"With the risk of sounding pompous, I would say though that my Thai is pretty decent. Nowhere near fluent, but I can hold my own in most conversations."

 

 

 

Khun Sanuk,

 

 

 

I envy you. How did you learn (did you learn in Thailand, what textbooks/tapes, if any; what % serious study and what % just picking it up from conversations), and how long has it taken you to become able to cope with most conversations?

 

 

 

j

[Guest]

For me its all Thai, even with that in mind (and my Thai isnt too bad) we still have difficulties in communication sometimes as she cant (or is too shy to) speak english. i guess its my fault for not encouraging her from day one and with me only speaking thai to her. unless you're truly fluent (ie can hold a policitcal conversation, read and comprehend newspapers fluently ... which i'm not!) in the language and culture there will be problems with communication to some degree. what gets me is guys that have been here for 10 years or so and are still getting by in broken english with their g/f, how do they tolerate it? for me learning thai was one of the first things on my agenda when i moved here.

[Guest]

Baksida and Khun Sanuk,

 

 

 

My hat goes off to you. Speaking Thai 100% of the time I personally find very tiring. I need to revert back to my mother tongue when I'm lazy or in deep thought. By the way, in my breakdown I didn't mean that I speak 60% Thai and 30% English in the one conversation or even in the one sentence. If I speak Thai I try and speak it 100% but my point was that I cannot speak Thai 100% of the time. Some nights I will be lazy and have a complete aversion to wanting to communicate in Thai.

 

 

 

I have a new rule with my girlfriend: Either Thai or English, not a combination of the two. And whoever initiates a conversation must choose the language to use and then we must maintain it. This is a fair compromise I think.

 

 

 

Cheers,

 

FF

[Guest]

"I have a new rule with my girlfriend: Either Thai or English, not a combination of the two. And whoever initiates a conversation must choose the language to use and then we must maintain it. This is a fair compromise I think. "

 

 

 

Thanks for the tip. Something I will try with my wife! We're now in the nasty habit of using broken Thai/English in conversations... for the same reason as for you. My Thai simply isn't good enough all times... but I'm still learning... hopefully in the future I will be having conversations in nearly 100% Thai....

[Guest]

KS: "With the risk of sounding pompous, I would say though that my Thai is pretty decent. Nowhere near fluent, but I can hold my own in most conversations."

 

 

 

There's something I'm curious about. When I started learning Thai my progress was about 3-5 times slower than it would be with a Euro language, like Spanish or Dutch.

 

 

 

I thought that as one's Thai gets better, the speed of learning picks up. To me, that would mean that as one lives in Thailand and is exposed to printed word, TV, etc., one would be able to read a newspaper without any effort; that one would have no trouble holding a political conversation. This is what would happen if one for example moved to Italy. Apparently, it does not happen when one moves to Thailand.

 

 

 

Can anyone put a finger on what is it that prevents this from happening, and how to get around it?

[Guest]

I tend to hang out with ladies who only recently came from upcountry; thus English typically is not an option. And I like it that way!

 

 

 

My Thai is not great; comarping it with BGs English it's at a similar level as BGs' who speak English "well." I have a better vocabulary, but they are a lot quicker with common expressions.

 

 

 

When I talk with BGs who speak comparable English, there is a whole range. Some will absolutely refuse to speak Thai with me. Others love it and won't use English except as a last resort.

 

 

 

Communicating on an intellectual level is extremely hard with either language. Plus, there's a cultural thing, and many Thai girls will give up quickly when it takes an effort to explain and/or understand anything above certain complexity level. "Think too mut no good, puat hua maak."

 

 

 

Fortunately, I am very seldom in a situation when need arises to communicate complexities with a Thai girl--in other words, I'm not married to one. But I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to fluently say something like, "Tilac, I think we should dump CISCO today; looks like the stock market is taking a dive."

[JJsushi]

I studied Mandarin at the university level and the problem that you describe is very similar . The answer is probably the tonality of the language. The way I trained my ear was to listen to children's programming and as I got better soap operas. Alas because I have no one to speak with I have lost everything I ever studied aside from the very basics.