check_bin_krap Posted September 30, 2002 Report Share Posted September 30, 2002 "Don't apologize; just don't expect everyone else to share your feeling that giving money to family is bad and evil." I agree Thaihome. As long as one can afford it, its also a good feeling being able to help out. Its better and more personal than giving money to some aid organization also. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2002 Report Share Posted October 1, 2002 Every day another villager will borrow money for some scheme, maybe to pay a broker fee so a son can go to Taiwan to work, or to buy a pickup so that produce can be hauled to market to get a better price. Noble intentions but more often than not failures. How do they borrow this money? They use land, homes and farms for collateral. As we all know, our girlfriends and wives have a responsibility to help their families and it is usually impossible for them to say no when it comes to requests for money. I have no problem helping with the necessities; it's the relative?s schemes that I prefer not to finance. The villagers never act independently, someone may get an idea and then a group of them run with it. They double and triple team your wife using family obligations and guilt as weapons to convince her to do something that in her heart she is opposed to. First thing my father in law said when he saw my wife's land title was that it could be used to borrow money. Maybe nothing to worry about but a few years prior to that the in-laws were after me to pay off a loan for which they had used their house as collateral and they were about to lose. I did not help them as they would not agree to put the house in my wife's name to prevent a repeat. They accused me of trying to cheat them. In the end they found the necessary money elsewhere. (Incidentally, I recently bailed my bother in law out of a similar deal. He is now paying off his debt to me with labor). I had a lease agreement drawn up using a lawyer and let a copy of it circulate within the family and made the village headman aware of the lease. This puts a huge stumbling block in their way if they ever try to involve my wife in a scheme and it also saves face for my wife, she can say no because her hands are tied. She prefers it this way. You can trust your wife to look out for your interests but do you want to trust her mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles? Virtually every one of these relatives has hit on my wife for money over the years we?ve been together. All had a ?good? cause except for one uncle who was out to cheat us. I agree with THAIHOME, ?don?t sweat it? since you?re not talking about a huge investment but personally I have put a lot of work into our place and prefer not to have my wife?s relatives have a hand in screwing up the situation. On the other hand if my wife is determined to screw up on her own, so be it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted October 1, 2002 Report Share Posted October 1, 2002 You can trust your wife to look out for your interests but do you want to trust her mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles? Virtually every one of these relatives has hit on my wife for money over the years we?ve been together. This is so true. It has taken my wife a long time to learn to say no, but it was a lesson she had to learn on her own. If I had refused to help, I believe it would have poisoned our relationship. Now she understands that money to her relatives for foolish things is money taken away from our future. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2002 Report Share Posted October 1, 2002 Great to read about a farang who; 1) knows what is happening 2) doesn't get taken in by his heart 3) is still an honorable man 4) shares with us all We can do it ! Here as elsewhere. It would be pleasure to meet you someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 1, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2002 bahnawk, many thanks for your advice. I am going to follow your example. From your earlier posts I think I gathered you might not be living in BKK. Would you know a lawyer in BKK who can handle this matter or does it have to be a local one? My case is located at Wang Sombun, Sa Kaew. Other board members - if you can recommend someone's services, please PM me. Any idea on how much would that cost - the land lease agreement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2002 Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 Thanks for the positive comments, wish they were all true. Perhaps our paths will cross one of these days.......bahnawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2002 Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 I spend most of my time in the Udon region. Sorry but I can't recommend a lawyer for you. Hopefully someone else will be able to recommend one in your area. It's probably best to use a lawyer in your wife's province. Cost for a simple lease agreement if I recall correctly was 5,000K. This does not include registering it with the provincial land office though this is probably not necessary unless you plan to make a huge investment in the property. PS I posted an example of a lease agreement on another thread, check it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 2, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2002 bahnawk, many thanks, that's exactly what I've been after. What a wealth of useful info! Hope it does not spark a big fight with my girl...leaving it after dinner... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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