Strength of a relationship

[Pharcyde]

Hello Guys,

Im as new as can be here on the board, although I have been following life here for a while, so ok, here comes my story. Where to begin... well I have spent a fair amount of time in Thailand the last couple of years, just living life for better or for worse. Then, Last year I met a wonderful girl, who I have been with for now one and a half years. We have gotten along better and better, I seen her family and all these things that make us a steady couple I guess. If it wasnt for the fact that I have returned back to Europe now. Its gonna be a long time before we can continue our relationship like before, bc I have gone home to study books, and even if things go smooth, there will be a couple of years before I can go and live with, or just next to her.

Here is it, do you think that its possible to, how to say, continue our relation with eachother, even though we are parted by half a globe? I know about temptations, and shit happens sometimes, but even then, can it be, after 2 or more years of missing, to still remain a couple? :: I know it probably sounds a lil´cheesy, what the heck, maybe theres someone of you who have been there, done that...So tell me your experience, I´d appreciate it.

Thanx.

[Azmit]

There's a French saying that translates : "Far from the eyes, far from the heart".

Honestly I don't think it's easy to keep a relationship that long without seeing each other.

 

[limbo]

Hi Pharcyde,

it probably won't be easy to maintain a relationship over such a period of time.

However, did you consider bringing her over to Sweden, even if it's just on a tourist visa for 3 months? Would you have the financial background to support that and would she be willing to come and see you?

In that way, you'll be able to see each other once in a while and tighten the strings again.

Cheers,

Limbo

 

[Zaad]

I've done it, so you could do it too.

But it, of course, also depends on your girl.

 

You both have to be very strong in mind and fully trust eachother. I know it's very hard because of the distance, but it's not impossible.

 

My story in short:

I met my girl on the net and spoke 7 months to her before visiting her.

So I decided to go to Thailand to meet my girl. Spend there 3 months and returned to Holland. 6 months later went to Thailand again for another 3 months. Again left her there for 7 months. After seven suffering months I packed my bags and am living here now ever since (that's last year).

 

I was really "empty and weak" after leaving her behind for 6 months and later 7 months.

 

You are talking about 2 years without giving her a visit. I think that's a bit too long for both of you. And of course very risky.

 

Isn't there a way for you to visit her at the very least once while you're away?

It would show her how much you care for her, but even more important, it would make the both of you stronger.

 

Anyway, I wish the both of you all the best.

Goodluck Pharcyde.

 

 

 

[thalenoi]

It can be done, I am in the middle of something similar.

7 months with her this year on and off, but it is difficult.

I agree with Zaad's comment: you can not leave her for two years. We have problems with just (?) 2 months...

[check_bin_krap]

"Here is it, do you think that its possible to, how to say, continue our relation with eachother, even though we are parted by half a globe? I know about temptations, and shit happens sometimes, but even then, can it be, after 2 or more years of missing, to still remain a couple? I know it probably sounds a lil´cheesy, what the heck, maybe theres someone of you who have been there, done that...So tell me your experience, I´d appreciate it.

Thanx. "

 

It depends on you both as persons, and how strong your feelings are for eachother. How often will you be able to go to Thailand? How often do you communicate with eachother?

 

I am engaged to a girl in VietNam, I have known her since February, been a couple since April. We are in touch every day, chats and e-mail and on the phone about twice a week. She will move here in 1 years time. I have met her twice on visits since June, and I am going down again in December.

 

It all comes to how close you are and how strong your relationship is.

 

Good luck!

 

Cheers!

 

[Guest]

I definitely think it is possible, just not easy. I am doing something similar, but luckily I go back every 6 weeks or so. Even with that things are hard enough. But we talk several times a day on the phone, we email very day, and we instant message, so the communication level is high even though we live 10,000 miles away.

 

If you really feel it is worth it, stick in there and give it a shot...

[Pharcyde]

Hello again,

Thank you all for the response, it is good to see that most of you are optimistic, or at least tell me that,in theory it is possible. About the french saying, yeah I know that one,too, and that is kind of connecting me to the thing about 100% trust eachother. Trust is a grand thing to give to another, and I guess I tell myself that I trust my gf, and she trusts me, too. Still there are the times when you wonder whats happening, when I know shes going out for dinnerr with friends back in LOS. I mean everybody likes to look at a pretty girl, so I cant be so naive as to think that she wont be baited or at least tempted.

Lets say I kill that thought, or accept the way it is, and then just live for the moments where we can actually see aeachother and reinforce the relationship...Kind a like I have to show that I am the man for her, and someone else. Here is another part of the story that I got to tell you also to make it fair. Actually we have been able to se eachother, shes been here in EU, visiting me about a month ago, fortunately she is able to travel for a somewhat cheaper price, otherwise my humble earning as a student would nope accomodate such expenses anyway. So here she comes to Denmark (not Sweden), and we have a great time, that only lasts a week That is such short time, where I try to avoid arguments, simply bc you cant afford to send her off and separate with any bad feeling stomache. And then, its hard anyways.

About staying in tougch, we do,but I cant really have the chat on the phone, so we stick to sms, and the chat on the internet. Great for me that cyber-communication hasbeen invented, otherwise I guess it would really be impossible to keep in touch, and touch eachothers lives the least. So, yes, it a hard time, I am studying, its a different world. My plans are though, to go and see her for maybe a month or so in the beginning of next year. I only hope that we wont have lived ourselves apart too much to continue together.

I dont know if this sounds like a sob-story. It is not, its just that I hadnt thought to receive a challenge like her and me now. (heres the sweating smily-face).

Again thank you for the good luck, I hope its strong enough to last.

Cheers

[Guest]

Take her to sweden with a tourist visa for 3 months and when she is here and the visa ends u cna extend it for another 3 months from sweden, i think she could like the idea to come here and see how you live... so 6 months and then she needs to leave and she can return again with a new VISA. its easy and its done in a week to get the VISA from thailand for sweden.

[BelgianBoy]

Pharcyde,

 

As written before me, it is difficult, but it can be done.

 

I'm in a similar situation whereas I travel to LOS about every 6-8 weeks for 10-14 days at the time.

 

BUT, instead of chatting on internet, we took it a step higher, we use webcam daily, and THAT my friend is a great replacement for not being together.........

 

Good luck and take care !

 

Cheers !