Jimmy_S Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Having read a number of threads here pertaining to the honesty and fidelity Thai girlfriend who continue to work in bars, I have now asked myself this question, ?Who are we to judge?? Personally I?ve formed a relationship with a girl who works in the ?scene?, so I have some skin in this conversation. We all know that the bar scene exists for the purposes of prostitution, as do all the girls (and lady-boys). Yes there are some punters that just drink, and yes there are some girls that don?t bar fine, and yes we can discuss the percentages at length, but none of that discussion changes the basic facts outlined above. Now to my point, as we paw over the questions of ?is my girlfriend taking money to sleep with a stranger and not telling me?, ?is she really up country with her family, or with her Thai husband? or ?am I one of a fleet of ATM machines?. We never stop to think of what she might be thinking of us, nor should we, ?cause she only a dumb, uneducated farmer girl?, isn?t she? As a worker in the scene, she knows she is going to be asked for sex (You know it too), either from you or the next guy that stumbles in the door, day after day, week after week. Knowing that even you, ?shining knight? that you are, most likely was bedding one of her co-workers (or two) the night before, if not that day. And we may well continue to do, in or out of country. She knows, because she has seen, when shining knights get bored they just move on to the next bar. Her friends tell her how many times this has happened and how inevitable it is. Funny, just like we punters hand out pessimistic advice and horror stories to our fellow punters. Both parties vigilant for signs of deception, both hoping what they know (that they met in the prostitution scene) doesn?t mean that THEY are being conned. The purpose of the mail, well, I guess if you find yourself in a situation where you a wondering about your girlfriend, stop for a moment and think what she must be wondering about you, chances are she has seen a lot more happen in ?the scene? than you ever will. Remember real friends (and partners) are those people who accept that you stuff up sometimes, this cuts both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 I don't agree with everything in your post (for example, I don't think people here generally are guilty of taking the attitude that the girls are just stupid farmgirls). But I do agree that looking at it from the girl's perspective is really enlightening. As a group, the farangs with whom they come into contact do not make a pretty picture. I once wrote "Was it just random that O had confirmed my worst fears and not the other way around?" Indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_S Posted November 18, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 A good number of punters, speak little if any thai and know very little about Thai protocol. We too quickly think the reverse is true. I also think a great percentage underestimate what farmgirls know of our lifes at home just 'cause they don't readily understand our slurd baby english. Eastern cultures know a great deal more than you might think, thanks to our US movie and TV friends, and the power of subtitles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 The purpose of the mail, well, I guess if you find yourself in a situation where you a wondering about your girlfriend, stop for a moment and think what she must be wondering about you, Yeah, probably true in a lot of cases at they doubt the farang. And lots of promises that farangs make get broken, but I'm not sure how this amounts to being conned. There is no excuse for girls to go on working and finding other 'boyfriends' while they profess fidelity, and happy accept 10K, 20K or sometimes much more a month support money. Some girls are rotten spoiled liars and I have no problem judging them as so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Hi, "There is no excuse for guys to go on fucking around and looking for other 'girlfriends' while they profess fidelity, and support money. Some guys are rotten spoiled liars and I have no problem judging them as so." Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Wether it is about the guy or the girl, trust has to earned in a relationship. And it takes time. More so if one of the parts (or both) have bad experiences in the past. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 >>>Yeah, probably true in a lot of cases at they doubt the farang. And lots of promises that farangs make get broken, but I'm not sure how this amounts to being conned.<<< very simple. a bargirl has only a few years where she has a chance to make a lot of money. if she trusts some farang who promises her the world just to dump her after a year or two, he conned her out of a lot of money she could have earned otherwise. i know more than a few bargirls who were conned that way, even some who were left hanging in the dry after being pregnant. two of them i actually helped a bit with sueing their estranged boyfriends, one of them has to pay childsupport now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted November 19, 2002 Report Share Posted November 19, 2002 Hi, "Wether it is about the guy or the girl, trust has to earned in a relationship." Yep, pretty much what I was trying to say with that post. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2002 Report Share Posted November 21, 2002 two of them i actually helped a bit with sueing their estranged boyfriends Sueing them for what? Lost wages? "Your honor, as a prostitute I made 30,000B a month. But for the past 24 months I have had to forego my career to be with the defendant. I am hereby seeking compensation of 720000 Baht for lost wages." I guess she was a whore all along. LOL A good reason not to take a BG as a wife, unless she's at the end of her saleable years, as she may be thinking in these terms. Yuck. BTW, I'm not at all suggesting there aren't guys out there with poor moral behaviour... I've got no problem judging them either. I just didn't get the posters "who are we to judge?" attitude. A guy may have good intentions, send money regularly, intend to move her to his country, or him to move to Thailand. If the new situation does not work out I hardly think that anyone was conned. On the other hand I know a few girls (though I don't think they are as common as some guys think) that are getting money from more than one person, each unaware of the other, she pledging fidelity to each, still going with other guys when the opportunity presents itself. Absolutely disgusting IMO, and there can be no doubt this is a con. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_S Posted November 21, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2002 Says worldwalker: BTW, I'm not at all suggesting there aren't guys out there with poor moral behaviour... I've got no problem judging them either. I just didn't get the posters "who are we to judge?" attitude. My comment was really about the attitude a lot of punters have, that "these girls are all the same", with out stopping to think that in their eyes we are probably all the same too. Both unfair conclusions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.