Why wont they help??

[My Cow Jai]

My experience of this is that only very few Thai girls do not like it if their (genuine) boyfriends speak Thai. However, some times they don't want to help you learn because it can be such a long (and boring) road to be able to get to the level where you can construct sentences. Also pronunciation can be so terrible from a farangs mouth that they may get annoyed and/or feel its not worth the effort.

 

For the most, reasonable or decent command of Thai gets an awful lot of kudos and respect. It allows you to participate in social occasions making you appear more far more fun and lively and gives your girlfriend a lot of face in the company of her friends - which in turn makes her lub you more...

[Guest]

very well said, completely agree!!!!

 

SB.

[khwaimaisabai]

Hi bibblies,

I am inclined to agree it is the laziness factor mainly. My TGF helps me a bit when I ask or when I say something wrong but she quickly loses interest if I ask her to help a lot. She speaks to her friends either very quickly or in Isaan dialect if she does not want me to understand. In fact one time I actually heard her tell someone to speak quickly and that must have been the reason.

She never speaks to me in English apart from the odd word. She has a very bad accent and I tell her the only way to improve it is to practice, but she can't be bothered.

Khwai ::

[jasmine]

Hi,

 

[color:"red"] While she likes the idea of me being somewhat fluent in Thai she also gets worried about the reaction/motives when a TG meet a farang who can speak Thai.

[/color]

 

I believe that a language opens the world, but it is very difficult for many people to learn a foreign language, my husband is one of the extreme.

 

I have met many Thai women who like to keep the husbands in the dark as far as the Thai is concern and I have never heard of good reasons (for me).

 

I admire all of you who want to learn, I have not given up on the hubby yet.

 

Cheers!

[Fiery Jack]

I think we should remember that to be a (proper) 'language teacher' is to possess a skill part instinctive but honed by years of serious study and practice. I am not a 'language teacher', nor do I claim to be one, and thus, when my Japanese (now ex-)wife insisted, shortly after we met, that I give her 'English lessons', to the extent of buying a coursebook and setting aside an hour each evening for 'instruction', I very quickly found it to be a right royal pain in the arse . Even though I am fluent in Japanese, my attempts at metalinguistic explanation, rules of grammar and syntax etc. were fucking hopeless and quickly pissed both the missus and myself off to the point where I certainly and she probably came to dread the increasingly irksome, stressful 'lessons' and rapidly we abandoned them. (This whole process took less than a month.)

 

Just because someone is a 'native speaker' of a language doesn't mean they will be able to teach it to others (a fact sadly forgotten by the hirers and firers at a lot of 'English conversation schools' all over Asia, hence the poor progress made by their unfortunate students). I would never ask nor expect a lover to teach me her language (beyond vocabulary and light-hearted idiom swapping). If you really want to learn a foreign language, go to a proper teacher with qualifications and experience to prove that he or she can do an efficient job of instruction, or get some serious self-study going.

 

Not meant as a flame to anyone or a rant, just my five baht's worth based on bitter experience.

 

j ::

[racha]

That's the second serious post you have made in one week,

Are you ok ::

[Fiery Jack]

Racha,

 

Yeah, caught red-handed: I've been off the drink for a few days, limbering up for next Friday's Woodstock maelstrom of beer . Time to hit the bottle again tonight, for I am becoming morose, a mere pale shadow of my usual smart-arsed sarcastic self . Thanks for the gentle words of warning, chief. Thanks for caring.

 

Mine's a large one.

 

j

[Pescator]

Hi Torneboy,

 

I`ve been married to my thai wife for 10 years now. And quite often people in Thailand ask me "how come you speak thai? You have a thai wife?" When I reply yes. They nod their heads knowingly assuming "Oh, now I understand, his wife taught him".

She sure didn`t.

Not that she has anything against me learning it - as long as I use polite vocabulary - but she just loses interest real fast. If it is no Sanuk, why do it?

But she had no problems speaking thai to me, so I guess in that way I did learn from her anyway.

Wouldn`t your wife do that for you? Speak thai to you? That sure wouldn`t take much effort from her.

And that would help you a lot.

 

Cheers

Hua Nguu

 

[Guest]

 

A few possible reasons:

 

1 - Laziness

2 - Possessiveness (if you speak thai you can talk to other Thai women, become less dependent on her)

3 - They don't want to understand what they are saying to their friends and family.

 

Just hope it's not #3, or you married the wrong lady... ::

 

#2 is a little better, but ask yourself if you would discourage your wife from learning English if she spent a lot of time in your country. Very selfish.

 

#1 - I hope for you it's this one. Some Thai's just get annoyed asking questions all the time...

 

"Kon thai ti mai chob farang poot thai mai dee"

 

 

[jasmine]

Hi,

 

I am sure that you heard that the spouse should not teach another something like driving and certain things.

 

My husband and I work together occasionally in a team for our company and no problem. But I think you may have a point there on teaching a language to your spouse. May be that is why my husband is not interestd in learning Thai. ::

 

Cheers!