Diving in Phuket, or my trip to Das Vaterland Sud

[PhordPhan]

I'd never been to Phuket, so I decided to spend four days there two weeks ago. Wanted to go diving two of those days. Booked the dives through a large, well-run dive company's web site. Site was all in good English, so I had no clue.

 

The first dive morning arrives, I eat breakfast and the pickup arrives EXACTLY on time. Hmmm. I board, we leave and begin the trip to the dive shop. I look out the side. Up ahead there's a sign. It says "Now Entering The Deutschland Zone." (Apologies to Rod Serling)

 

It's a rather strange feeling to be the only American on a German dive boat. Sort of like the only raisin in a bowl of oatmeal. Interesting lot, though. If anybody can make the Thais run things in an orderly fashion, it's the Germans. Only dive boat I'd ever been on that ran on precision military time. The boat sailed at 8:15, not 8:20. You are to be in the water at 10:30, not 10:32.

 

Having never been on a GDB I figured customs were going to be a bit different and, as a guest, I'd just have to go along. I wondered, briefly, if we would sail to the dive site on the surface or submerged. It seemed a bit strange when everybody formed ranks and stood at attention during the pre-dive briefing, but I was adjusting nicely. When it came time to dive we all marched off the end of the boat, two by two, shouting Ein, Zwei, Drei, Gzuffa! (or something to that effect), before jumping in. I figured this was normal.

 

Apparently, it's a law in Germany that everyone must smoke, unless you have a special exemption from the government. And it seems there are no exemptions for divers. :: Obviously a lightweight, the only thing on my mind after sucking down dry air for the better part of an hour is a big drink. The first thing into the other divers' mouths, as soon as the reg comes out, is a cig. Wow! Reminded me of that guy in the movie XXX. Found out later that this particular boat was responsible, overall, for about 20% of the tobacco industry's annual net profit. Very impressive. ::

 

I had to draw the line, however, at Bratwurst mit kraut und kartoffel for lunch and opted, instead, for the squid curry over rice.

 

The second dive was much like the first. The only thing I though a bit out of the ordinary (and again, I've never been to Phuket before) was, on the trip home, the entire boat's complement sang selections from Tannhauser and Der Ring des Nibelungen.

 

Day two was pretty much the same. I was an old hand by now, except I could only manage one pack of smokes and three Bratwurst during the trip. Still a lightweight! One nice touch was, during the close of the evening sing-along, the very masculine female D/M lead everyone in a rousing rendition of Lili Marlene. ::

 

All in all, quite an adventure. Oh, and the diving was pretty good, too.

 

PhordPhan

:) :)

[buffalo_bill]

PhordPhan,

 

precision of trip report, lack of misspells and crew performance meet my fullest approval. Sure the name of the lady captain was Siegfried.

 

Achtung wegtreten !

 

 

Bbill