Guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Hi Jasmine, Yes. This whole thing just really came out to light, the other night. I was reading her as not wanting to be with me at certain times, which was very unusual to me, given certain facts. It all came down to the fact we would be seen together alone, and she finally explained to me why. Her family would kill her for agreeing to see me, much less traveling with me. And her family is everything to her. It struck me, that she really is taking a very serious risk, where her world is concerned. What I was taking as indifference on her part, was actually a great commitment from her, to me. I did come to realize how easy it might be for farang to hear what a Thai girl is saying, and not realize what is really being said. What I was hearing as negatives, were actually very strong positives. At that point, many things fell into place. So.......yes, Jasmine. I think concern over a Thai girls reputation is still very much alive, and well. While some may embrace more Western values, I think many also adhere to the Thai values, and tradition, that were tought to them by parents. If not, then we Westerners would be able to understand Thai girls as easily as any other. But as most of us know, understanding a Thai girl can be most difficult. I think, therein, lays the answer. To understand a Thai girl, you must understand the culture, in which they were brought up. All members of her family, are very dis-trusting of Falang. I give her sooo much credit, for being able to go against this grain, and to be able to trust, what she has been taught, not to. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 The truth is I have not met any Thai male who really cares about the BGs --------------------------------- not arguing with you, Dear Jasmine but: actually the depth of the problem is that thai male woud not care much for them even if they were not Bgs or before thay are. If they did care, the education laws, welfare and child/women protection law would be a lot more efficient. one reason is because the sexual activities with "farangs" or any nationalities ---------------------------------------------------- I had heard that thai males are on average plain boring in bed. Thanks for confirming it. You are not a prostitute, we are talking about women who "f*ck" any dog for money here". ------------------------------------------------- jasmine, you have all the luck, I wish i had a chance to meet these guys and tell them a thing or two about themselves. So, prostitutes are bad but good if sleeping with thai males. Or if they mean any prostitute, what about them thai males (some of these guys, I am sure) who provide the demand for them. Ah, but they would have to think too mutt, I guess...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 >Her family would kill her for agreeing to see me, much less traveling with me. And her family is everything to her. It struck me, that she really is taking a very serious risk, where her world is concerned. What I was taking as indifference on her part, was actually a great commitment from her, to me. HT, I've been following your posts carefully, especially after you clicked with this girl over the net. Honestly, my question is: why is she doing that for you? She has never seen you, you are not promissing a marriage, you have commitments at home, can come to Thai twice a year for a week... I don't understand why is she taking such a big risk... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 [color:"red"] one reason is because the sexual activities with "farangs" or any nationalities ---------------------------------------------------- I had heard that thai males are on average plain boring in bed. Thanks for confirming it. [/color] You misunderstood P127. It meant that these women who cater to "farangs" are tainted, they don't deserve these arses (Thai men) semen. I was very disgusted hearing it that I smacked the guy (who sat closest to me) and his wife, sitting on the other side smacked him also. It is not uncommon to hear the "superior" attitude from Thai men. These men come from rich/middle class families who do not know mush about the hardship and many of the Thais are quite insensitive to the poverty and people from Isaan get the blunt of these types of opinions. I have always been honest that if I have not lived in the West and got a chance to know these women, my attitude/thinking is probably the same or at best, indifferent towards these women. [color:"red"] actually the depth of the problem is that thai male woud not care much for them even if they were not Bgs or before thay are. If they did care, the education laws, welfare and child/women protection law would be a lot more efficient. [/color] Both sexes have equal rights to school. What is bad is when a family needs to choose to send either a daughter (due to their finances) or son to school, the boys are normally chosen. That is the deep belief that sons should be better educated than daughters. As we can see, the girls are the ones who seem to be more responsible becuase the boys are raised to think that they are entitled to be special. [color:"red"]jasmine, you have all the luck, I wish i had a chance to meet these guys and tell them a thing or two about themselves. So, prostitutes are bad but good if sleeping with thai males. Or if they mean any prostitute, what about them thai males (some of these guys, I am sure) who provide the demand for them. Ah, but they would have to think too mutt, I guess...... [/color] I wish you met them too. They have Western friends. Now P127, I have not known any Thai man who benefit from these women, I just can tell in the tourist area that some of these scum may, I don't want to get to know them It is sad that so many Thais are so insensitive of other's hardship. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 [color:"red"] Honestly, my question is: why is she doing that for you? She has never seen you, you are not promissing a marriage, you have commitments at home, can come to Thai twice a year for a week... I don't understand why is she taking such a big risk... [/color] Good question, however, I am wondering whether this can be a real click. TTM, when I dated the American (ex-fiance), I went through a bit of snide remarks, especially from boys who did not really know me. One remark was, the reason why I always had A's in English because I was taught English while I was being in horizontal position! 2 boys got so bad that I reported them to the faculty Dean and they were reprimanded. I was in the dorm alone while my mother was up-country and the dorm had rules and I followed them. My reputation was that I liked "farang" men better becuase they are just "bigger". Of course, being me, I talked back "Bigger and better too, Darlings!!!" :: When I was in such position, I knew then who were really my true friends. Some girls stayed away from me because they did not want their reputation to be connected with mine. Funny that I was amonsgt the top of the class and I think that was what protected me and the teachers liked me, especially the Dean who was the most kind Thai male I have ever met (next to my father). :bow: I have no regrets loving that man and no regrets for knowing none of the Thai men intimately. My ex-fiance visited my mother (father was already dead) several times and they still talk about him once in a while. The last time I met him was only 13 years ago here in the States. I have counted my blessings to have met a man who truely loved me and treated me well and becuase of that love (and my father's love which spoiled me), I have gain my standards that I expect from my possible partner. I am lucky to have Hubby becuase I think many men will run away from me if they find out about my standards. TTM, sometimes the love can make women, especially the radical ones like me, take risk. :devil: :)Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 [color:"red"] Disco with a stunning BG friend. The Thai males were all trying to get her attention. Every time she went to the loo a Thai male would hand her his phone number! [/color] Hate to tell you that I have experience on this. I would not call myself stunning but phone numbers were passed to me. One main reason is, these Thai men will not turn down something that they think can be free. Also, many of these Thai men think that since the woman is with a farang, she must be easy to take her to bed. Do you understand what that means to the women like me? Many Thai women who have been educated abroad are thought to be easy because we have lived in the countries where sexuality is accepted. Some of us tolerate sexual advances from even educated (but stupid) Thai men, many times abroad. One of my mother's neighbors asked whether my husband and I swapped sexual partners!!! I said sure, one in the morning, one in the evening, everyday. What these Thais don't understand is that, what they see in movies (including porno), are not exactly real lives. The Hollywood movies that don't represent the exact real lives. Teenagers think that American girls (all of them) have sex before the first period!!! Oh, please don't get me on this subject!!!! Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 >TTM, when I dated the American (ex-fiance), I went through a bit of snide remarks, especially from boys who did not really know me. One remark was, the reason why I always had A's in English because I was taught English while I was being in horizontal position! Jasmine, you were "investing" rather than taking risks. Your man was a "boot on the ground", marriage prospect, not a distant "pen friend" with loads of commitments and limited travelling/settling freedom. Without HT telling what he thinks I can't say more, not sure if what I said is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Hi TTM, Good question. I can only say that it took a lot of time to get to the point of even meeting. She has never met anyone from 'net before. I think it simply got to a level of trust, and just happened. Although, I still know she wouldn't if her friends were not going to be there. Even if I visited often, I don't think she would ever feel comfortable walking around with me, unless she could be able to truly say I was her boyfriend/husband. The reason she insists upon having friends with her is not about a level of trust with me. It's about appearances, and what will be thought of her. Kind of like the B/G who goes back to village, and says, "nobody can say anything about what I do now, because I have money", type of thing. If she could say honestly, when asked, that I was her true, permanent boyfriend, then I don't think much of a problem for her. The problem is, if asked who I am, she will have to say, "some farang I meet on internet". A face losing issue, especially with her family. Even with friends tagging along, she has been warned by family not to get involved with farang (she's 28). None of her 5 brothers/sisters, or parents, would be happy to know she was meeting farang, although they do have farang friends themselves. I get the feeling they think most are not sincere, thus the caution. I think mostly attributed to the casual way (and how) we are meeting, would cause the problem. Why is she doing it? Well...there is a definate attraction between us, and since we will only be meeting in a group, while in BKK, she will be able to safely get away with it. Actually, we'll be in a group when not in BKK, also. :: She has made it clear I cannot come to her school, and take her out to lunch, alone. As Jasmine was alluding to, she would have much to explain, and could be seen as being 'easy' because casually seeing a farang. As I said, if she could state I was her permanant b/f, then would be a diferent story. Because I'm not, and just some guy she met on the internet, makes it a VERY big issue. I suppose, that after several visits, and getting to know more of her friends, she'll be able to say, "I know him long time. He know all my friends", making things more comfortable for her. But who knows? This is all conjecture on my part. I'll see when I get there, what the story is. :: HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 HT I think you are one of the few here that truly has a grip on a Thai female's reality. No wonder she is fascinated and NEEDS to meet you. Truly, I wish both of you the best of reality....I am sure it will work out differently than either of you anticipate. And it will be great. (I'm almost jealous) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Hi LaoHuLi, Maybe we should move this thread to "relationships". :: But situation is on topic of thread title. I have learned a great deal on how 1 Thai girl feels about prositution, and most important, how greatly it affects her, even when not at all involved. There is a stigmatism placed upon her, because of the mere fact, of where she happens to live. And also, to a large degree, of her culture, as well. The severity of the importance of how things look on the outside........I am just now starting to understand how strong this reality really is for them (well....her. I don't mean to translate this one experience to all Thai girls). This really hits home, when I know she would desperately love to experience Sala Rim Naam (maybe most expensive restaurant in BKK (Oriental Hotel)). As badly as she wants to go, she would never concider, unless in a group (which I have told her I cannot afford@ US$100 pp). She is very commited to her ideals, and will not budge. The negative implications from being seen there with me alone, 20 times exceeds her desire to go. It is really quite amazing to me. It also commands a great deal of respect from me, for her. So why does this situation exist? Because we falang have a very definate reputation to them. But this is due largely to the fact that so many Thai women make themselves available, for almost nothing, in terms of $$$. A couple of percent of the total Thai population (prostitutes) affects her life every single day. She is affected in the way that she must not be seen as one of that tiny percent, at any cost. It literally affects what she can, and cannot, do. It keeps her from experiencing things, that she really wants to do. It's all really quite amazing. LaoHuLi....thanks for the praise, but my insight here comes solely from the experience of taking a very serious amount of time, to develope a relationship with an average Thai girl. Something that I advocate for anyone serious about understanding Thailand, and it's people. Lower Suk is fun, but does not represent it's women. Not by a long shot. I don't even think you can ever understand a B/G, without learning about her counter-part. Gives you a much better understanding of the total fabric, and what is really going on there. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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