The fate of my 3 BG- a Shakespearean tragedy

[whosyourdaddy]

The fate of my 3 bar girls- In my time in the kingdom I have gotten to know only 3-4 BG quite well. Here is their tragic stories

 

I first arrived in Thailand 5 years ago next month. Thailand was the last leg of a Southeast Asian business trip and I was exhausted after 6 weeks of hotels, meetings, and unchartered cities. I needed a break! The only good thing is I was handling it better than my business partner who spend the first 3 days in Thailand sleeping 12 hours a day, trying to recoup. Waking up one morning, I decided to let my partner sleep and heading down to breakfast. Sitting alone at my table, I noticed a guy in a similar situation at the table next to me. I cant remember who struck up the conversation but it was a conversation that changed the entire course of my life. Amazing how one little thing does that. Where would I be if I decided to sleep in that morning? Who would I be? This young kiwi at the next table had just flown into Bangkok and was planning to spend one year here. With an RSA in hand, money in his pocket he was ready to tackle the big mango. He asked me if I had been down to Patpong yet. No, I replied not having a clue that a Patpong was. Well he would show me later that night if I wanted. Anything sounded better than another meeting with another VP of another company. It was time to explore.

 

Walking down the soi with my new kiwi friend, I was amazed to learn that this guy spoke and wrote Thai. Just what I needed, someone who could guide me in unknown areas. It was a welcomed break. Heading up to Queen Castle 2 bar, I was shocked at what I saw. Naked girls doing all kinds of rude and wonderful things. I was having the time of my life. Both of us had women all over us. I was amazed at what was happening around me. Then I spotted her, the most beautiful women I had ever seen! Long, sleek black hair, the perfect hour glass shape, stunning face. She seemed to notice my awe and approached me. We hit it off straight away. Not knowing the protocol of such an establishment I just played it day by day. Never heard of a bar fine nor short time. We ended up spending the rest of my trip together. Never asked for money and I did not know I was suppose to give. We just grew closer and closer. Traveling around Thailand brought our friendship to a much higher level. It was very difficult to say goodbye. Leaving her at the hotel, I promised I would return one day and would keep in touch.

 

During that year, I learned all I could about Thailand. Reading Trink and online articles about it. My Kiwi friend even started a homepage about his adventures on a private geocities page. The Stickman?s Guide to Bangkok it was called.-basically a personal webpage with some information on Thailand. One year later the day came that my company wanted a follow-up trip to Thailand. Hmm... Better make it one way, as I planned to stay there 6 months to a year.

 

I had finally arrived in Thailand, MId-April , 1999 was the day and I was scared shitless. Scared of the unknown and what the future held for me in this country. Meeting up with my kiwi friend, we decided to go back to QC2 bar at patpong. As soon as I reached the top of the stairs I heard this screech. ?Whosyourdaddy, WYD WYD ? said this little Thai lady of 39Kg. It was lao, the best friend of my stunner. Wow I was impressed, they remembered me. I was in heaven. But in life you must take the ups with the downs, my mother always told me. My stunner was so excited to see me, but told me that should can not go with any men anymore since she is dating the DJ at the go-go bar. I was truly, truly heart broken. All this way, for nothing. All those letters, for nothing.. All those phone calls, for nothing. I felt like I was about to cry. Fucking hell!!!!

 

A few months later, my kiwi friend and I were walking down sukumvit in front of the Thermae bar. My kiwi friend was explaining that his gf hated when he gave Buddha a not so high wai and proceeded to show me.. Well out of the blue, comes this little Thai girl with a lot of spunk. She proceeded to berate my friend for his actions.. I was laughing my ass off. I liked this girl, she definitely has some balls. We followed her into the Thermae and had a wonderful night with her. She was great. She asked me if I wanted to go to her place for the night. Wow, what an offer. We proceeded to have the best night of passion in my entire life. This lady was insatiable, and could not get enough. 8x was a new record for both of us in a 12 hour period. It was amazing. We continued to see each other for a month or so. She quit working and decided she would become a singer. I supported her decision and went to watch her on stage most night. But the day came when her Swedish sponsor returned. We both knew it was over between us and went on our way.

 

The last BG I ever knew was a Rainbow One girl. Ending up at her apartment for the weekend, was one of the most educational times in Thailand. She taught me so much about Thai language and culture in those 48 hours. She was excited as me with her new find. Running around her apartment with a big smile on her face, giggling away saying ?box-ee-da, Box-ee-da. Mee fan box-ee-da? Later to learn that box-ee-da is the word for a white person in Lao. We continued to remain friends. She would stop buy for dinner once a week before work. We had fun!

 

 

All three of these girls have a special part in my heart. They supported me in a strange country and taught me about myself as well as about the kingdom.

 

Unfortunately all stories don?t have a happy ending. The follow-up?..

 

Tonight I was out and about with some friends and sitting outside on sukumvit eating some corn when I girl came up behind me and asked if I was WYD? Turning around, I did not recognize anyone. Then this extremely chubby girl looks up at me and asks if I remember her. Shit no, but I do recognize the voice. It was Lao, the previously 39 Kg girl who used to work at QC2 and was the friend of my first Thai girl. I was so shocked to see her as she had moved to Germany 4 years ago. I asked her how my stunner was doing. Well she explained that she wanted to see her but she did not have time to visit her as she was only in Thailand for a short time. Ahh where is she, I asked? In police jail was the answer. Has been there for 2 years on drug related charges. Shit. My heart sunk.. How could that be. She had the world in her hands as well as my heart a few years ago , and now she is rotting in some Thai prison. Here her best friend is- very well fed , enjoying the European food and life with her family. And the stunner is eating rice and cockroaches for supper. Lao and I just stood there looking at each other, knowing exactly how the other one is feeling but truly lost for words for the loss of our friend. That got me thinking about the other BG that I knew.

 

The spunky, passionate women who was my second has been dealt just as bad of a hand in her life. Her passion for sex finally caught up to her and she is now HIV positive.

 

My rainbow one girl is now working back at rainbow one. Started just a few weeks ago, after a 2-3 year sabbatical to raise a kid who she was impregnated by a Malay customer, she has returned to the scene until the father sends money for her and the baby to immigrate to Malaysia. But there seems to be too many hurdles in her path so she continues to slave away in the bars.

 

People always ask what happens to bar girls after they leave the scene. Well for my three thai BG, the suffer the consequences of the profession and their choices. I met these girls between 1998-9. A few years later and all three have a devastation life. I am sure many girls have a similar fate, or is it just my luck.. Thank goodness, I left the scene years ago, my heart could not take the fate of anymore friends.

 

WYD

 

[jp1]

WYD,

 

thank you for sharing your refreshing, yet very sad experience with your 3 friends. Perhaps you're right, maybe many girls go down the same road. ::

[Guest]

Perhaps

 

'We know what we are, but know not what we may be.'

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), Hamlet, 1600

 

 

At any rate, enjoyed your post. Thanks for being so open, and agreed tis a sad tale. I've a bit different take on it, however, for the sake of discourse.

 

I note that you knew 3 girls, and the fourth (friend of the QC 2 girl) appeared to be quite successful (married, living overseas). In that small sample, 25% success rate is well, perhaps typical. Perhaps not.

 

I'd like to offer a few comments:

 

1. You knew the QC2 girl during your first trip for a presumably short period, and you communicated with her by phone/post. And yet you say all was for nothing?

 

I suggest nothing could be further from the truth!

 

You had a great time with her, you enjoyed communicating with her over the next year, you cherished your memories, and you came back to Thailand in part for her. Indeed, she might have been one of the main reasons that your life was changed forever.

 

Appears to me like you got a LOT more out of the relationship than you realise!

 

And lets look at it from her side: You obviously did not intend to marry her, apparently not even telling her that you were returning but rather just showing-up at QC2. You apparently did not support her, as she was still at QC2. Hey, what was she going to do - wait in her house for you to return?

 

 

2. The 2nd girl sounds great - I had a similar experience with a girl from Rififfi in PP 2; had to give it up when her sponsor beckoned. BUt what the hell, sure was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?

 

As for the HIV, that is tragic but unfortunately that happens all over the world, to working and non-pro girls/men everywhere.

 

 

3. The Rainbow girl took a risk getting pregnant, and maybe SHE picked the wrong guy. Just more support to the view that BGs (as do the punters) have to be VERY careful about WHO they trust.

 

 

But I have to comment on your final paragraph, with a somewhat different take. My or your view is not necessarily right or wrong, just thought I'd comment.

 

WYD 'People always ask what happens to bar girls after they leave the scene. Well for my three thai BG, the suffer the consequences of the profession and their choices. I met these girls between 1998-9. A few years later and all three have a devastation life. I am sure many girls have a similar fate, or is it just my luck.. Thank goodness, I left the scene years ago, my heart could not take the fate of anymore friends. '

 

 

MM: I have to disagree that they have suffered the consequences of their profession:

 

1. QC 2 girl: There are no GTGs with Thai boyfriends who have been swept-up into the drug scene and perhaps arrested for it? Certainly there are, so this tragedy is NOT limited to BGs.

 

2. Thermae girl: The girl with HIV could have caught it anywhere, as millions have worldwide. How many 'honest Thai fisherman' are infected and have in turn infected their non-working wives/girlfriends? Ditto for girlfriends of IV drug users. Ditto for nurses. Ditto for GTGs who sleep around with guys out on RCA. Shit happens. Its tragic, but it happens in all walks of life. Everywhere.

 

3. Girl 3: this is sad because THE PUNTER fucked her over, not the other way around. SHE trusted HIM, presumably. And I might add that this happens ALL TOO FREQUENTLY in all manner of GF/BF relationships in Thailand and elsehwere. It is NOT limited to the BGs.

 

 

And finally, just a suggestion. You met all three girls once and were instantly 'friends' with them - that is, they went with you the first night and stayed with you because of good sex and whatever. I'm not denigrating what you are doing as I have done the same, but lets be clear what it is. You're pulling the slot machine handle ONCE and hoping to roll a winner. Not good odds, IMHO.

 

If you're looking for a real friend, I'd suggest you just have a few beers in the bar and give them a once over for a few months - chats and possibly normal dates on occasion - before you could call them friends. I suggest that this type of BG relationship might lead you down a much different path and have a far different result than your 3 cases.

 

Thanks for sharing your story, as it is interesting. Just thought I'd put a different spin on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[gobbledonk]

WYD,

 

Thanks for your story - great stuff, and very sympathetic toward the girls.

 

Despite a variety of contrary opinions, I still maintain that the deck was stacked against these girls from day one. OK, some of them made a choice that wasnt forced on them by their circumstances, but I doubt that this is the case for the majority of girls.

 

Once they immerse themselves in the scene, how long before the negatives start to pile up against them ? How much of the money they earn goes on 'candy' to numb the pain - drugs / jewellery / whatever ?

 

Physically and psychologically, its difficult to imagine anyone emerging unscathed after 5-10 years in a bar. I think Lao actually fared the best - she may have put on a few pounds, but at least she is being cared for and doesnt have to scrape up a living in a bar.

[whosyourdaddy]

"Hey, what was she going to do - wait in her house for you to return?"

 

You are right! I did not support her, nor did she want support. Yes without her, stickman, a company who supported me, the the desire for a change in my life, I would not be living in Thailand today.

 

"Well for my three thai BG, the suffer the consequences of the profession and their choices.......I have to disagree that they have suffered the consequences of their profession.'

 

I think with the lack of education and certain circumstances the girls tend to make bad choices including entering a scene when they are very young and naive.

 

 

"If you're looking for a real friend, I'd suggest you just have a few beers in the bar and give them a once over for a few months - chats and possibly normal dates on occasion - before you could call them friends"

 

Luckily for me my tale ends in December 1999 when I met my thai wife and am now celebrating our one year wedding anniversary. So I guess I really cant make any new friends. My path in life is much different. Married to a Thai women and have a successful job in the kingdom. Is this because of my choices??? My life path is much different from my 3 BG friends.. probably because of a good education, being in the right place at the right time and hard work to improve my life not just wait for karma to do it for me. Probably much different from the girls who are in jail, hiv positive and pregnant!

 

Could you also say the girl who moved to german got the shaft. She could be living in Thailand but instead is living in germany.. HMMM. maybe that is 4th BG with Bad circumstances. :: ;)

 

[Guest]

WYD,

Thanks for the insightful yet somewhat sad post. I won't get into the pro/con debate on prostitution but it did make me think about the 3 BGs that i had become "good friends" with and what happpened to them. So please allow me to endulge myself.

 

BG 1:

Then:

The first BG friend of any substance i ever had, she had great english and had been to the states a few times and worked in a beer bar in soi 4. She always had a wad of cash in her pocket and seemed to understand the farang mind very well. Many years later i learned that she had formerly been the wife of a well known bar owner who put her back to work in his bar when he tired of her.

 

Now:

She no longer works and is set up with i believe money being sent in someone and is happy indeed.

 

BG 2:

 

A gogo dancer who entered the scene at the age of 29 and exited at the age of 30. After a brief but illustious career she managed to 80% complete a home for herself in her home town. She possessed a great work ethic and was always at work for the early shift in order to pick up that extra 100 BHT for starting at 4pm rather than 7pm. After a year she realised that she was heading down a dead end road and enrolled herself at Ramcomhaeng (SP?) and next week sits for exams after completing her first semester. She has been lucky enough to have a former customer who finances her with a modest amount (7500BHT) a month. She is very happy and has a very positive outlook towards her (in her words) "beautiful future". She regrets her time in the bar and preffers not to think about it anymore nor does she associate with anyone from the "industry" anymore.

 

BG 3:

 

BG 3 is the ubiquitous Thermae girl. She has been working there for 5 years now and i am afraid there does not seem to be much of a future for her besides being a replacement for the old hag who pushes drinks when her hooking days are over. Besides being a nice enough girl she seems to have defined the term "hardcore prostitute". Due to her reluctance to use condoms i believe that she would be a prime candidate for some very serious health problems.

 

I guess BGs and their situations are as varied and unique as what our own are. Some have big wins, some have modest wins and some loose big time.

 

Postscript: BG 1 and 3 have very modest educations BG 2 had completed her full schooling. All three came from very poor (economically) backgounds and from single parent families. BG1: has fantastic business acumen and BG 2 Just has a good outlook on life and refuses to accept her "lot in life" and is motivated for a honest happy life.

[JJsushi]

Nice post caused me to reflect on my own past.

 

I would like to add to it.

 

My first 3 BG's:

 

BG1- Married an American

BG2- Yabba/gambling addict dissapeared from the biz.

BG3- HIV positive and returned home

 

 

My last 4 BG's:

 

BG1- Sponsored by an American, out of the biz for 1year and attending some college in BKK.

 

BG2- Sponsored by a live-in British expat for 2 years now and bored out of her mind daily as she waits for him to finish his work so they can go out to dinner.

 

BG3- Returned back to NEP after 1 year after being sponsored by a Canadian who recently lost his job.

 

BG4- Married a German guy 2years ago

 

 

My first GTG:

 

Fell in love with an American guy, got pregnant, he left her and supposedly he sends child support.

 

 

My last GTG:

 

Still looking for a husband

 

BTW- it is a lot harder to keep track of the GTG's for some reason.

[Guest]

but obviously that is a matter of opinion.

 

And compared to your suggestion that #4, too, got the shaft, one could just as easily say that a girl who married a farang and stayed in Thailand got the shaft. After all, she married a farang possibly to get out of Thailand (among other reasons) and there she is, stuck in Thailand. Hmm. IMO Thais travel/migrate about as well as ANY of the SE Asians, save the Singaporeans. Remaining in the Kingdom is not a prerequisite to happiness for them.

 

No, I don't think there are many who would say that the BG who now lived in Germany was unsuccessful. She is married, living in the West, can obviously travel back to Thailand, possibly has kids. Lets be realistic here, unless there is some other agenda.

 

I'd put your story at 1/4 successes, or 25%. And I'd suggest that outside the BG business the 'successes' are significantly less than 100%.

 

All this is a matter of opinion anyway. It is interesting to see some of the other poster's comments on the BGs they've known. My experience with BGs and indeed water trade girls in general is about 50:50 (success/failure of long-term relationship/career/life (if we may be so bold to judge!)).

 

Retrodiction is a risky business, to say the least!

 

Congratulations on your marriage and anniversary. Wish you the best of luck and many happy returns.

 

Salam

[whosyourdaddy]

Notice the big smiles and laughing gremlins after i said it. It was a friggen joke man.

[carew66]

Nice one. Enjoyed the initial post and then the whole thread.