Why am I feeling guilty?

[bibblies]

Exactly. If your clients are that loathe to lose you then they should accept a little flexibility in working from home.

[chilli13]

good point about working from home even still these days I don't think it's very accepted or common.

in my company I occasionally manage to persuade my boss I will work from home a day here & there, but most days you're forced to get your arse into the draided office from 9-4 even it means surfing nanaplaza all fucking day

 

p.s. sorry jasmine if this was a minor hijack, but I think your question was already well answered too

[Plainsdrifter]

Jasmine

 

I don't think you should worry about retiring from work because of guilt feelings. So many people force themselves into retirement because they have reached retirement age but go in feeling that somehow they are not ready for it. Others go into retirement and promptly retire from life itself. Idealy it should be a period in life that you both can look forward to doing....like when you were a kid and saved all summer long for a pair of jeans for going back to school. Didn't you look forward to going to the store and spending your hard earned $50 in one shot?

 

It may be that your husband is waiting to see what you are going to do and then following you. Maybe he wants to reduce his hours to part time but he sees that you are commuting 5 hours a day and he feels guilty. IMO going into retirement is easy. You can always go back to work. Withyour experience, your present employers would sign you to a consulting contract even when you retire.

 

I'm 48 and am thinking about retirement, but to retire I have to find somebody to buy my business or else sell it off piece by piece. But I have thought about it so much recently. I know that I don't need the money and there is a very good chance I won't spend all my money at the rate I am spending, so why keep going? Sometimes the work is so stressfull and boring and don't see the reason for it.

[lopburi3]

Sounds like you need to get on the husband now or you both may never know any retirement. He could start a new life - he already did it once. Time, at our age, is not something that waits. If you want to retire and live here, or elsewhere, you should not feel guilty. Your clients will survive and someone who may need the job/money will eventually keep things going. Getting the husband on board should be the big priority if you want to move out of your present area. If not, just do it. Five hours a day travel is too much if it is not needed!

 

[jasmine]

Hi,

 

First, thanks for the responses.

 

The key to my guilt is Hubby. If he retires which he can any time, I will not feel so bad because we can take off and do things but he wants to work

 

Now, this last Friday, the guilt was loaded to me by my clients, professional wise, I feel responsible.

 

On telecommute, there are secured data that cannot be accessed from home.

 

I have decided that I may work until the end of this fiscal year or December, the latest. I may just let Hubby work for the guy has no other interest. I may grab a friend or 2 and start traveling with them.

 

Again thanks.

 

Jasmine

[Steve]

Jasmine, can we assume hubby has no problem with your not working? Maybe he even wants you to stop. If so, you may be doing both of you a favor if you stop working.

 

Volunteer work, a sideline business, taking a class you've always wanted to. Seeing how leaving makes you happier may prompt him to think more about leaving as well. If money is not an issue, then its something to consider.

 

[jasmine]

Hi,

 

I tried to understand Hubby's feeling why he does not want to retire yet. Sounds like he is scared of being just at home and he is the type of guy who wants everything planned especially when we travel (I hate that). It is a big step for him and he just cannot cope with it at this time.

 

He does not care whether I work or not but he seems to be very proud of me. The problem is more with me really, I put my own guilt inside me somehow thinking that a spouse should work while another spouse is still working.

 

I told my clients that I will be back in June after my trip to Thailand but I think that the months of working are numberred. We shall see.

 

Thanks for your post.

:hug:

 

Jasmine

[gobbledonk]

Jas,

 

I strongly suggest that you email BB (sorry - Belgian Boy), and get some details on the way in which he has been able to use technology to spend 8 months a year in Thailand while continuing to 'work' in Europe. I'm sure its as much about handling the human factor as buying a laptop and getting work to pay your ISP charges, but if you can make a sound business case re your productivity improvement as a result of being able to telecommute 3 days per week, they'd be crazy not to at least consider it.

 

As an example, my current job is in a regional area, and I spend roughly 8 minutes each way commuting to work, in almost zero traffic. Despite this, my boss is quite happy if I want to work from home for one or two days a week, in order to get something done without interruptions. He understands the need for that sort of flexibility : I would hope that your superiors would also be sufficiently enlightened to also display that level of understanding. That leaves your clients, and I suspect that they also need to be 'weaned' gently from the belief that they can have face-to-face contact with their project manager any time they desire it. There will always be peaks in the porject lifecycle where the number of meetings etc will dictate that you need to visit the office more than twice a week, but I still believe that the majority of us should be taking advantage of teleconferencing, email and plain old commonsense in this 'Information Age'. End of Sermon.

[ranma500]

Why are you feeling guilty?

 

It strikes me that you are feeling guilty because your work colleagues are trying to make you feel guilty.

 

They are trying to make you feel guilty so that they can persuade you to stay.

 

And if you are good at your job and conscientious as you sound, who can blame them?

 

But that does not mean you have to listen.

 

I think if you were the owner of a company and your retirement might lead to other people losing their jobs and suffering, then you should consider carefully your responsibilities to them.

 

However, this isn't the case here.

 

I do not believe you have any moral responsibility in this matter.

 

You owe a company your best efforts while you are there, and while you are under contract to them. Once that contract period is over, or you have given appropriate notice, that is the end of your responsibility.

 

You have resonsibilities to your family and yourself. That is what you must put first.

 

Do not do like two people I know, who worked all their lives very hard to build a nest-egg for retirement, then died within two months after retiring.

 

Today is not a rehearsal for tomorrow!

 

ranma

[Steve]

Jasmine, your husband seems like my father. He is supposed to be retired but still works (he started a business). I've come to the conclusion that if he stops he'll die. Some people are like that and if your husband is happy that way, so be it, don't try to change him. Guilt is also natural. My mother wanted to enjoy retirement and do nothing but felt she had to help my father as she would feel guilty being home relaxing while he was working.

Since your husband would be supportive if you stopped working that would make it easier. Go at it at your own pace. You may find that one day you wish to do nothing or be like your husband and they will have to carry you out in a box from your job. Some people feel they need to have a purpose or reason to get up every day. You should do what makes you happy. Some people like the stress and pressures of a major project. You may be one of those types. If that is so, keep doing it till you no longer need it or you find something else to replace it like volunteer work, starting a different type of business or what ever.