dreamer Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 I?m not sure it is possible to maintain a healthy relationship and still occasionally participate in the scene. For this reason I tend to avoid long term relationships, this is damaging to some extent and the effect will increase in the long term. I don?t participate often but I like to know that I can if I want. The damage to the girls is far more than to us, I don?t think it comes down to whether men or women are stronger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Hi Cent, >>>>>>>>But what you are saying is YOU are somehow smarter and stronger mentally than the women involved in this scene. Or is it because you are a man and paying for it and they are a woman and a "prostitute" and being paid. YOU can see the differences between love and paid sex, and remain undamaged. (And believe me HT I'm saying this with all due respect. Mostly to bring the discussion along.) Don't you feel the ladies can make these same distinctions? The ones we find to be "hard core" are exactly like you are talking about. They also see the distinction. For them it's just a job, right? For you it's just paying for sex. For them it's just sex for pay, and some "acting" to make the most baht possible. I'm not trying to be contentious here HT. Just playing a bit of the devil's advocate to further the discussion. So is it the "hard core" ladies who see the job as what it truly is, as you do yourself, that can remain the least damaged or totally undamaged as you yourself?<<<<<< I'm not stronger or smarter.........It's that it is not my life. I'm there for only a few weeks at a time, and it takes me months to get my heads screwed back on straight after I return. I have the luxury of sitting back for months at a time, and make sense out of it. If I were there punting like most of the girls, 24/7/365, then I'd be in very big trouble. I think it is very hard to take a good look at the situation while you are actually participating in it. When I'm participating, emotions and feelings blur my vision. I am not thinking about the reality of this great girl I'm with, looking for her next punter, even while I'm trying to find my seat on the plane, for my flight home. Being a hooker usually means you are at it every day, all day. I think after a certain point, that it does have a permanant effect on them, and obtain a skewed outlook on life, and love. I know it would me. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 Not to you in particular. I came here at a young age, when P4P was restricted to PP and a few bars along Sukhumvit. PTY was just waking up after all the GI's had left. Hua Hin was in shambles. Thailand wasn't on the tourist map really. Although I did visit the bars at first, I never really got into the P4P thing. I was single at the time, but the P4P scene has no challenge to it. Sure you could and still can get beautiful women from the scene, but its a matter of money, not looks, romantic evenings and other aspects of persuing the girl you like. Nowadays I only go when friends form abroad want me to take them there. Usually stay for 1 or 2 drinks and then move on (usually back home). Never really into it, I can safely say that I'm not damaged by this scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted August 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 Fly, " just look at all the suicides in pattaya - lots of those guys are older, and obviously have completely lost the plot here." Yes, this is very sad and disturbing. Obviously some of these guys are deeply involved emotionally with a woman working the bar and as you say "have lost the plot". To kill yourself over the lost affections (which were probably never there on her part to begin with) of a bar girl, when you can walk out your hotel door and find a replacement within a matter of minutes, is puzzling to say the least. I'd be willing to bet though that most of these suicides have more to do with financial problems (probably caused by the P4P scene) than they have to do with love. Cent i don't know - there is something very strange here, something that can creep up from the behind and take you with it before you realise. and i am very aware that it could still happen with me - having lived here for long does not protect you if you allow to let self control slip for a moment. it's weird sometimes, a little slip can somehow cause a chainreaction of events that is not controllable anymore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 it's not a relationship we are talking about here ---------------------------- Well, it is too. I am basically one who has usually RT with P4P girls. So, it depends also on one's approach to the scene. I do approach it, seeing human beings, not my "next sex steak" (try to say that 10 times really fast ), so I am not very different than in any other situations meeting people in my life. Now, have the disappointments, whatever they were, damage me? Never. Its' all part of the dance of life, and the only thing i'd fear is to stop dancing, not getting heart-broken. I certainly learnt i can take a few punches and still stand up, and when it's all over, it will be worth a few self-mocking but healthy laughs..... IMO and IME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 just look at all the suicides in pattaya ------------------------------- yes, but compared to the 10s of 000 going to Pattaya, infinitesimal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pe7e Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 Hi, As one of the elder statesmen of the p4p scene (20+ years) traveling to Thailand, my views may be of interest to someone. Firstly I don't think I have been damaged by, but I have most certainly been changed by my experiences over here. I doubt any normal person could fail to be affected, in some way, by the experiences gained here, they can be far removed from life in Farangland. The biggest change in me is having gained the knowledge, that provided I don't get myself too involved with one person, and don't squander my assets, I can have anything I want here, when I want it and how I want it, I would be very reluctant to give this up. Regarding as to if I can still have a normal relationship, I would first need to know what is a normal relationship is? Over the years I have had various relationships in Farangland and they were all different to each other, some where positively freaky. I have also had relationships within the P4P scene that were more 'normal' in the commonly accepted sense. I am a self sufficient person who no longer needs someone around me all the time and I know I would find another 'wife' very restrictive, I previously had one for 18 long years, so I do know what I am talking about here. Nowerdays I get easily bored and have a short attention span as far as women are concerned. I don't think Thailand is responsible for this, I think it is a selfishness within me. I know what I want, and how to get it, if that is the result of being damaged then damage me some more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 16, 2003 Report Share Posted August 16, 2003 I couldn't of said it better myself! I am also in the same position, I'm lucky enough to be in an industry where I can make a great deal of money in a very short amount of time (legally). I guess I'm kind of in a mid-life crisis, and loving every minute of it! I really do not see why I should be settling for less than I deserve. Most women in my age group normally have quite a bit of unwanted baggage i.e. children, ex husbands and normally out of shape and run down. I can afford to live in LOS for three months at a time, then back home and back to work for another six. My main focus during those five or six months is to save money so I can maintain my regular life style. Whenever I'm in Thailand I have no stress, no worries and minimum expenses. I maintain two households, both simple and do my best to enjoy life! Sound damaged? I still have not been sold on the "normal" Christian beliefs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 16, 2003 Report Share Posted August 16, 2003 I do approach it, seeing human beings, not my "next sex steak" (try to say that 10 times really fast ), so I am not very different than in any other situations meeting people in my life. Same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted August 16, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2003 All, Sorry. My ISP was down for 24 hours yesterday and I was away for the day in Cambodia today. I'll get back into the discussion tomorrow. Off to bed now. Might even sleep for a while! :-) Later. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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