Central Scrutinizer Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 All, I've seen a few threads recently about how the guys who come here for pay for play have been somehow damaged and now have a hard time in genuine relationships and so now use the P4P scene. I've also seen quite a few members agree with this theory. (JJSushi for one, whose opinions I generally agree with and respect) If this is true then let's hear how you all think you've been damaged, and to what degree. Is there any hope for a guy who has immersed himself in the pay for play scene to ever have what is called a "normal" relationship with a woman? I myself went through a horrible divorce about 13 years ago which I never saw coming, totally blind to it, although upon reflection the signs were there. Took me a while to get over it, and yeah I have three kids so this was very hurtful to our family. I'll never claim to have been a perfect husband, far from it, but I did love her and expected we'd be together through the years. Did this damage me permenantly for other relationships? I didn't think so, as I had quite a few ladies after the divorce before ever coming to the LOS. Some who thought I was a catch and tried to rope me into a long term commitment, which I avoided quite deftly and managed to part on friendly terms. It did make me very gun shy for getting into an extended relationship though early on. I'd never paid for it (sex) before coming to the LOS quite by accident really and not for the sex scene, although I had heard some stories from friends who had been here years ago, but found the scene here to be quite different from what I'd seen in the states. So it was very easy to play here and pay for it without many qualms or Christian religious teaching feelings of guilt and impending doom in the fires of hell. (Catholic boy here with some years in Parochial schooling with nuns) I don't see much wrong with the scene as applied over here rather then in the west aside from the medical aspects of the diseases that can be caught, especially the Big A, as long as a guy keeps his wits about him and uses the big head rather than the smaller head, at least part of the time. So let's hear it. What do you people think. Are we truly "damaged" goods? What's your story? Are we warped beyond repair? Has our indulgence in the P4P scene here in Asia ruined us for a normal relationship with a woman outside the scene? I personally don't believe this, at least not for the majority of men here, but what's your take gents, and ladies too. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Has our indulgence in the P4P scene here in Asia ruined us for a normal relationship with a woman outside the scene? ---------------------------------------- AFAIC: No. On the contrary it helped me finsih my sentimental education, and get damned insightful about women psychology. A great help for any RT, now or in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted August 14, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 P127, I agree. What I found was that it was much easier to take the time to find what fits your own style, your own wants and needs. The pressure was off. Hell, you always know when you are here in the LOS that if and when you want to get laid there are really no worries about it as long as you have some baht in your pocket. This takes off the pressures that accompany living in the west and trying to score a night of debauchery after a week of hard work and all the other shit that comes with living the so-called dream life of consumerism and democracy. Living in the west can be a busy and trying life, with little time to cultivate a relationship, even a few relationships with sex involved. I had no problems finding ladies, but it was all so fucking time consuming and hit or miss, and for the most part a pain in the ass. Rarely the sure thing P4P can achieve. It leaves you the luxury of time to pursue women at all different levels, if pursue actually is the word to use in this context. Here you can try to cultivate a relationship with so-called "good girls" and still have the opportunity to relieve the pressures this can build up in a guy. :-) Depends on what you want and what level you want to play the game. I fully understand the guys who just want to fuck as many ladies as is possible in the time alloted to them. I've done this myself. What is amazing here is the many different levels you can indulge yourself in, and the ways you can mix these different levels according to what you want to do. All the way from BJ bars and freelancers to just dating "good girls" and every variation inbetween. Definitely takes away the pressure and urgency wouldn't you say? Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Hi Cent, No. I'm not damaged goods. Because I think I see it for what it is. Pay for play, is just that.........Play. I was married for many years, and always faithful. When I'm serious again, I certainly won't be looking to this group to find a serious partner. I'm sure that offends all punters now living with ex-prostitutes, but just isn't my cup of tea. In my mind, the damaged goods is on the other side. I occasionally indulge in the scene, but I do not live it. Most of these girls are racking up 100's (if not 1,000's) of punters. Truth be told.....not my ideal wife material. Can I have a normal relationship? Sure. Why not? I've jumped into the scene some, buy has not blurred my vision to what is real. Buying love is not real. When you stop realizing the distiction between paid sex, and real love, you become truely fucked. Let me repeat that: When you stop realizing the distiction between paid sex, and real love, you become truely fucked. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 >>>Hell, you always know when you are here in the LOS that if and when you want to get laid there are really no worries about it as long as you have some baht in your pocket. <<< dunno, but i think a relationship contains a bit more than just getting laid. and to be honest to myself, that nightlife has damaged me a lot, getting out of it was very difficult. it is, as every addiction goes, something which stays for the rest of your life. just being rose eyed and looking at the high of it is a bit naiv i would say, denial. there is a down side to that whole madness, which has nearly destroyed my life, and the life of many of my friends of those days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 >>>Can I have a normal relationship? Sure. Why not? I've jumped into the scene some, buy has not blurred my vision to what is real. Buying love is not real.<<< that somehow sounds like the junky who says: "i can give up any day when i want to..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 my question would be: can you go to thailand for a holiday and manage not to have sex at all while being here? no gogo bars, no MP, nothing like that. and then just fly home? could you manage that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 which has nearly destroyed my life ----------------------------------- Glad you are still here and living in a normal ( : thai neighborood . IMO, since i have an idea about some of the guys who lost it, many came, and were ready to fuck up their lives, even if they did not know it at the time. This is a fringe group that is not representing a great segment of the farangs who enjoy the Nightlife. I know I am glad I discovered the "madness" in my mid-thrirties, A younger P127 would have been teared to pieces just by a girl or 2 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 just look at all the suicides in pattaya - lots of those guys are older, and obviously have completely lost the plot here. i don't know - there is something very strange here, something that can creep up from the behind and take you with it before you realise. and i am very aware that it could still happen with me - having lived here for long does not protect you if you allow to let self control slip for a moment. it's weird sometimes, a little slip can somehow cause a chainreaction of events that is not controllable anymore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Straycat Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Says HIGH THAIED: Most of these girls are racking up 100's (if not 1,000's) of punters. Truth be told.....not my ideal wife material. Most of these men are racking up 100's (if not 1000's) of prostitutes. Truth be told...not my ideal husband material. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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