torrenova Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 A lot of posts seem to be looking at things from the side of the parents or potential parents. Surely that is wrong. I had an old father. He was "only" 37 when I was born but was out of step and too old to participate in say, sporting things with the other kids and their fathers. No, he wasn't a slob, far from it - played high level football and cricket - but he was just unable to make the jump in generations on a mental as well as physical level. A couple of guys have expressed some concerns about their age. Good. Kids need both parents ideally and not just for financial support. The time to talk about kids, the age difference etc. is before you get married / settled. You can't live your life through your kids, only help them to live theirs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted September 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 torrenova, I agree to some extent. I was very young actually when my first was born. Barely 20. In some ways this is just as bad as being too old. I agree that age of the parents can make a big difference to the kids in the family. I was 30 when my third kid was born. It can make a difference. But I've also heard from guys whose parents were old when they were growing up and they say it made no difference for them. I guess it's up to each individual what they decide to do. I myself do feel that 50 is too old to start having kids. I mean, like I said in another post, when I'd be 71 trhe child would be 20. More of a grandfather figure than a father figure really. :-) I know how hard it can be raising kids. Teens! Fuck. They can be a handful. Being like 66 and having a 15 year old that's giving you problems? Doesn't sound ideal to me. Thanks for your input. Cent p.s. Btw, the wife and I discussed this thoroughly way before we married, and she said it didn't matter to her if we had kids. But I KNOW this was probably not truly how she feels. She wouldn't mind having one more anyway I think. Some women seem to feel that to have a baby with a guy just bonds you to them closer, or keeps the guy around to be with his kids. Foolish thinking I believe, but it is there. I'm posting here to get some feedback from others who have done this, and get others opinions and feelings on the subject because I'm bouncing the idea around in my head. If I was to do this, have another child, I'd want to do it pretty damn soon. If I decide not to I don't feel it would cause a problem in our marriage, and no, I'm not discussing this with her yet right now. As far as she knows I don't want to have more children and she accepts that and has no problem with it. This is just me thinking about it before it's way too late to do anything about it, at least in my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted September 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 limbo, Well, congrats on your new family. :-) You know, all things considered it does all boil down to love and caring from the parents. For the children and for each other. For myself I've already raised a family with three kids the past 30 years, and am perfectly willing and able to raise my wife's child who is turning 11 on the 14th this month. I just don't know if I'll have the patience and energy to start all over again at age 50. An 11 year old at 50 isn't too bad, but a 15 year old at age say 65/66? Dunno if I'd like that much. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 Hi BB, Since you've made it quite definite I do hope you GF sticks to her views in a few years from now. Many women when they turn like 30 do change their mind, when at an age it becomes possibly their last opportunity to have kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 Oran, Only time will tell ...... Sofar I can say I'm not up to it, dont want to be an old dad to kids, but if put on the block, hell...... I might even change my mind....... Never say never, and surgery is always possible as well...... Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pescator Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 Hi Torrenova, I was 39 years old when my second son was born. Wife was 28 years old. At the age of 39 I definitely felt a bit over the top to have another kid (oldest was at that time 6) and it was only because of my young wife that we went through with it. Looking back I think I was too old really, but that is just me. I see others older than me doing just fine and enjoying every minute of it, because at this stage in their life, they have more money, more spare time etc. But I think one should ask oneself, why do you want to have a child? The answer IMO is rather simple, it is for your own sake, not for anybody else. And if you cannot be there for the child (physically, mentally etc.) while he/she is growing up and needs both mum and dad to have the best chances, well, one is being kinda - I hesitate to use this word but cannot seem to find a better one - selfish IMO. cheers Hua Nguu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 Says Hua Nguu: Hi Torrenova, I was 39 years old when my second son was born. Wife was 28 years old. At the age of 39 I definitely felt a bit over the top to have another kid (oldest was at that time 6) and it was only because of my young wife that we went through with it. Looking back I think I was too old really, but that is just me. I see others older than me doing just fine and enjoying every minute of it, because at this stage in their life, they have more money, more spare time etc. But I think one should ask oneself, why do you want to have a child? The answer IMO is rather simple, it is for your own sake, not for anybody else. And if you cannot be there for the child (physically, mentally etc.) while he/she is growing up and needs both mum and dad to have the best chances, well, one is being kinda - I hesitate to use this word but cannot seem to find a better one - selfish IMO. cheers Hua Nguu Hi HN Good point you make. Some families that have a child late in life in my country encounter some ribbing..kids to kids. When the guy ..say mid 50s taking his son to a T ball game etc other kids say is that your dad or grand dad etc...kids do not know at times what they are saying and what hurt or other it may bring. imo My new wife would love a falang child but we had a very long talk and both agreed against it ...for our own long term freedom and happiness..selfish...yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatbastard Posted September 12, 2003 Report Share Posted September 12, 2003 There is a 25 year age difference between us and a 54 year difference between my First Born and I. BIG NUMBERS. All I can say is that last night walking down Lower Suk for a meal with my gorgeous little girls on either side of me, makes me the happiest and proudest man alive. my little girl arrived quite by accident but she is the most loved daughter ever. Not for one minute have I ever regretted having her (well to date anyway) I have the responsibilty of securing her financial security which probably means I will work til I fall off my perch but I don't give a toss. I tried retirement for 4 years and it SUCKs big time. I'm a happy little slave to the work ethic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jai-dee Posted September 14, 2003 Report Share Posted September 14, 2003 Have any of you out there experience in this? What would you advise. Cent, as of today I have 4 days experience in this matter. So perhaps I should get back to you in a couple of years. I'm 52 and my wife 24. I must say I never hesitated for one second and I haven't been happier in my life. I'm in excellent health and my life expectancy is 91 so I fully expect to babysit my great-grandchildren. You are only as old as you feel. I fell definitely bored in company of "old" people of my generation but feel much more in tune with my friends in their twenties. My main problem however is that I can't affort to retire yet so I can spend more time with my family. But such is life, I waited 20 years for this moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pescator Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi Jai Dee, Congrats my life expectancy is 91 Then you must be a female japanese according to the statistics :: Cheers Hua Nguu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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