Using "Polite" Language

[Pescator]

I have always been instructed to use polite language when talking thai and that is just fine by me.

Thai people go into great effort to explain me the difference and emphazising that this word is polite and that word is a no-no.

So here I come all ready and set with a "Khrap" on my lips and mayby even anticipating to make a Wai if necessary.

And then some 95% of the thai people I meet - I should point out that these are mainly thai people living upcountry - will not use polite articles, dont use any particularly polite language especially not among themselves and basically talk the way I was told not to.

Now what do you do?

I for one will be damned if I am to be the only "polite" person around here. And I adjust my vocabulary accordingly and then I really dont give a rats ass if they appreciate it or not.

Sometimes but rarely this gives cause of a few comments. Like "you shouldnt be using that word!"

"Well, you used it first!!!"

"That is not the same"

Come on, gimme a break.

Just for the record, I am not talking about personal pronouns here.

 

What do you do in such a situation?

 

Cheers

Hua Nguu

 

 

 

 

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

Had something similar the first time I met my in-laws (our engagement). Was talking to a couple of my wife's brothers and cousins, when one of them said something to which I replied with 'uhhh' (not sure how to write it but I am sure most of you know what I mean).

 

He got pretend upset and told me that I couldn't say that, to which I replied with a wai and a 'khootoot na khraphom' (of course also joking). Totally cracked them all up and I think I was accepted from that point onwards.

 

Sanuk!

 

[Pescator]

Hi KS,

 

I got that one too only a few months back.

I was out dining with my friend and his thai wife. And she had brought her brother too, he was a cab driver.

Now this guy had been replying to me several times with a confirmative Uhh - I had no problem with that - we got on really well.

I suppose I had used it a couple of times too and afterwards my friends thai wife - the cab drivers sister - told me that that was not particularly polite. Well, I knew that but he started it was my argument. Doesnt matter she said, you should not use it, you are a foreigner.

Yeah, right.

 

By the way how does one write a apostrophe without it coming out like this: my friend`s thai wife?

At my PC it displays correctly but when I post it it is changed into gibberish.

Very weird, now it seems to display correctly. Well, problem seems to be solved then

 

Cheers

Hua Nguu

 

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"Doesnt matter she said, you should not use it, you are a foreigner."

Had the same couple years back in the office. Some of the Thais often used 'wa' at the end of a sentence, nobody seemed to notice. Then when I used it once, people were shocked.

 

indeed.

 

Sanuk!

 

[Guest]

>>>Then when I used it once, people were shocked.<<<

 

i often use those impolite words and forms consciously to get some nosy uptight people off my arse - a few 'uuhs' and such will generally convince them rather fast that i am not up to their standarts and they sod off and leave me in peace. ::

 

the ones who are not put off by that, see through that little game of mine, are often the ones which turn out to be good people to be around with.

 

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"i often use those impolite words and forms consciously to get some nosy uptight people off my arse - a few 'uuhs' and such will generally convince them rather fast that i am not up to their standarts and they sod off and leave me in peace."

 

Hahahaha, excellent

 

Sanuk!

 

[Pescator]

Hi FlyW

 

i often use those impolite words and forms consciously to get some nosy uptight people off my arse - a few 'uuhs' and such will generally convince them rather fast that i am not up to their standarts and they sod off and leave me in peace.

---

 

Haha. I like your philosophy

 

cheers

Hua Nguu

 

[Chanchao]

 

There's more milage, respect and yes: fun in speaking polite. Especially when you're first learning the language. When you're seriously experienced you may learn when, where and how you can get away with saying what and have it come out as being fun and good spirited. For the first 4 years in Thailand, don't go near less than perfectly polite language. Now please spread the word among sexpats/sex tourists in Bangkok and (especially) Pattaya.

 

When making fun, hinting at bad words/concepts without actually using them works best. The fun is in the nuances..!

 

As for upcountry, the 'bad' words are often part of their dialect, or at least 'less bad' in their dialect. When you use some of the 'bad' words while otherwise speaking official central Thai, they are emphesized more. This is why a granny in Chiang Rai can refer to your niece as 'ee mot', but you cannot while otherise speaking Bangkok Thai. So... want to use these words upcountry, then first learn to speak the local lingo..

 

Cheers,

Chanchao

[Guest]

>>For the first 4 years in Thailand, don't go near less than perfectly polite language.<<

 

Thai language is not simply about polite and impolite words or language used. There is the correct use for the different situations (I think FlyW mentioned something to that effectin another tread).

You should use "polite" language when talking to government officials in their official capacity, but when you use that same "polite" language to kids, or younger "colleagues" you may be polite, but will get many stares about your use of words.

 

Have to admit that, if a government official pisses me off (using bad language on me for instance), I may respond in kind, just so he knows where we both stand. This can at times be the case with those of lower rank, trying to impose their not so high government status, and thinking perhaps that I the farang am ignorant of the fact. Well tough luck in that case, because here's a farang who isn't.

 

I'm not very familiar with rural dialects. However, many normal (lets call them polite) words used are similar to impolite "central Thai words. Rural dialiects don't have the many different nuances as central Thai, probably because they're not written languages and only for verbal use amongst people of similar levels in Scoiety.

 

But FlyW, I stand corrected.

 

 

 

[Guest]

>>>Rural dialiects don't have the many different nuances as central Thai, probably because they're not written languages and only for verbal use amongst people of similar levels in Scoiety.<<<

 

 

which is also somehow reflected in them being a lot more straightforward than the citydwellers, which i do like a lot.

problem for them is of course that as soon as they have to deal with authorities they are automatically at a disadvantage, which unfortunately is widely abused.

but seen in my missus, who still has very limited thai language abilities, that can be even turned to an advantage with enough selfconfidence. after she has been with me in many places in europe and asia she got rid of a lot of her inferiority complexes. now, if there is a conflict with higher ups, she is as blunt as a villager can only be, and people are genuinly scared of her as she behaves completely out of her normal class towards them folks. ::