Jump to content

And the winner is ...


Flashermac

Recommended Posts

THE NATION

 

Winners and losers at the Apec Academy Awards

Published on Oct 26, 2003

 

 

Welcome back to normal life, after a week of Apec fever.

 

Bangkok seems to have returned to its old self since Wednesday when the last foreign leader, Russian President Vladimir Putin, departed the City of Angels.

 

Chronic traffic jams have returned to roads temporarily closed to non-Apec travel. And with the coverup campaign over, the street vendors who were deemed too unsightly for Apec delegates are back in force.

 

Even stray dogs have been put back on the streets.

 

Least we forget the shinning moment that was Thailand's Apec summit, our reporters have coughed up a list of winners and losers in the event.

 

Unlike the Academy Awards, however, we are not giving out Oscars.

 

And the winners are....

 

Best Leading Male Performance

 

The nominees included Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, who arrived amidst a storm of international protest over his remarks about Jews made the week before.

 

But the leader, who is stepping down after 22 years, lost the title to President George W Bush. The US leader gave a down-to-earth performance, greeting every dignitary at the entrance of the Ananta Samakom Throne hall on Oct 20 evening with a simple: "How are you doing?"

 

Best Leading Female Performance

 

There were three nominees: the leaders of Indonesia, New Zealand and the Philippines. President Megawati Sukarnoputri appeared a bit subdued, weighed down perhaps by a tough situation at home, while Prime Minister Helen Clark appeared quite studious.

 

Then there was President Gloria Arroyo whose passionate taste for Thai durians raised her above her rivals and added her to the list of VIPs promoting the Kingdom as a destination for lovers of food and fruit.

 

Best Director

 

The title almost went to Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, but "deep-throat" sources revealed the man who did all the logistical legwork was Deputy Prime Minister Vishanu Kruangarm.

 

Two months before the event, Vishanu led press tours every Friday to selected Apec venues such as Thai Airways International's catering centre, Government House and Royal Thai Navy headquarters to show they had done their homework.

 

Worst Script

 

Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad almost took the title with his pre-Apec "Jews rule the world" speech, but was beaten out at the last minute by Thaksin.

 

It was tough to top our leader's performance. When asked what was the root cause of terrorism, at Apec's final press conference on Wednesday, he said: "That's a technical question."

 

Best Score

 

Although the magnificent Royal Barge Procession on the night of October 20 was spellbinding, the Apec theme songs performed at the gala dinner that night took this award.

 

Even Japanese Premier Junichiro Koizumi, a diehard rocker, liked them so much he asked for a CD of the songs.

 

Best Dressed Delegate

 

Nominees included Peruvian First Lady Eliane Toledo, who proved that first ladies need not be dull. She let her red hair down and dressed in colourful skirts throughout the event.

 

Also in the running was Lyudmila Putin, Russia's first lady, though she looked a bit uncomfortable in her fluffy, floorlength gown at the gala dinner at the Royal Thai Navy headquarters.

 

The award, however, goes to Laura Bush who wore a fabulous pink dress when she visited the Grand Palace.

 

Happiest Group Award

 

No one cold be happier than government employees whose work was unrelated to Apec because they were given a whole week off. Many took long holidays in the provinces.

 

Meanwhile, private sector workers had to suffer several days of nightmarish traffic, thanks to the frequent road closures for Apec.

 

Most Sacrificed Groups

 

Slum dwellers, street vendors, beggars and stray dogs were all "covered up" for the event.

 

Widest Smile

 

All votes go to Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra as the summit's host. He beamed throughout the summit as he received compliments about what a fine show he'd put on.

 

Though there are some who wonder whether the Bt1billion expenditure paid off, they should concede the event did wonders for promoting tom yam kung, foot massages and handmade silk shirts, which were worn by Apec leaders.

 

Most Attractive Leader

 

Nominees included Japanese Premier Junichiro Koizumi who came in second place, but the title goes to Russian President Vladimir Putin, a champion of Russian "sambo" martial arts. The athletic leader also found a unique way of wearing the new Apec shirt by dropping it over his jacket and necktie.

 

Most Pressured Leader

 

Chilean President Ricardo Lagos Escobar takes the award. He will find it tough to match Bangkok's performance when he hosts the next year's Apec summit.

 

Most Dedicated Group

 

The country's Marine frogmen, who provided crucial security against terrorists, take the title.

 

They even made underwater checks below the Chao Phaya River to ensure the safety of delegates.

 

Biggest Anti-Climax

 

Instead of burning effigies of the US leader, activist Giles Ungphakorn floated balloons in a peaceful demonstration. But some people thought the act might have been mistaken as a welcome for Bush instead of an attack on US foreign policy.

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Instead of burning effigies of the US leader, activist Giles Ungphakorn floated balloons in a peaceful demonstration. But some people thought the act might have been mistaken as a welcome for Bush instead of an attack on US foreign policy.

----------------------

In true asian smile fashion, it meant : " Welcome to our beautiful country, Mr Bush, whom we abhorr foreign policies" :grinyes:. No, really!!!!

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"President Megawati Sukarnoputri appeared a bit subdued, weighed down perhaps by a tough situation at home.."

 

 

Hmm I think she is weighed down by more than ... really weighed down. In fact I can't see how her and Taufik get it on unless they employ some of the same third party copultaion techniques used by the largest of mammals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday, had on either 'Fox News', or 'CNN', a bit showing various dignitaries getting out of rot yon at a function. All had wives with them. Then the Japanese dignitary gets out of vehicle alone, with no escorts. The whole reason for showing, was that they could comment that this Japanese guy was the smartest one there.

 

Why? Because he was smart enought to not bring his wife/gf to Bangkok, with laughs all around the reporter's table. Talking about perpetuating the world belief that all Thai women are whores.......Not only stupid, but very insensitive. Made me embarassed I live here, and have to listen to this propaganda shit. :cussing:

 

HT

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Then the Japanese dignitary gets out of vehicle alone, with no escorts. The whole reason for showing, was that they could comment that this Japanese guy was the smartest one there.

 

You're talking about the Japanese PM Koizumi, aren't you? This guy is divorced. He can't bring his wife to any function. :)

 

Btw he's still the favorite of all girls and women in Japan. I'm sure he has enough girlfriends over here. :neener:

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Taiwanese representative was alone -- and almost treated as not entirely respectable. He could not display his flag on his car and was attending officially as from Taipei, China-Taiwan or some such thing. The PNG rep also was by himself. Why didn't they mention that? Racist peegs!!!

 

And for some reason, everyone was in a black limousine except Taiwan and Vietnam. Some hidden meaning there, or did they just run out of black ones?

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Says jp1:

You're talking about the Japanese PM Koizumi, aren't you? ...Btw he's still the favorite of all girls and women in Japan...
:neener:

 

...Except his old banger of an ex-missus, presumably, whom he walked out on in 1982 when she was seven months pregnant with his third ankle-snapper. :o

 

Sounds like a reasonable enough bloke to me. :beer:

 

jack :up:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...