Guest Posted October 31, 2003 Report Share Posted October 31, 2003 Cardnial--- I like your advice... Of course, you NEVER find someone when your are intentionally looking, but when you are NOT looking is when you find that "one".. My first boss told me two good pieces of advice.. It's about the law of large numbers... The larger number of people you meet the better your chances are.. People who catch more fish, fish where the fish are, not where they are not. I found my "the one" at a local Japanese restaurant (in a major western hotel) in BKK when I was not actively looking, How did it happen? I make it a point to "invite" at least one of the junior staff in my office out to lunch each day. It makes the junior staff feel important and it builds good rapport between the senior managers and the junior staffers. She was (still is) the manager of the restaurant and I always made it a point to thank the her at the end of each meal. One day I ran into her at Airport (she was flying out to see her parents in Buri Ram) and we made some small talk and it went from there... --UPSer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 >>>You are calling the shots here and basically in the driver's seat.<<< i guess you are not in a relationship here ...calling the shots...ROTFLMAO... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hidy Ho Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 live here, learn the lingo, meet people, and then you might find someone you fall in love with, and who falls in love with you. [color:"blue"] I'm here to tell you that what you're preaching ain't easy as it sounds ... it's a frustrating and tough work ... Just like in a real life P.S. I think I'll get started on your program soon ... and will report back after few more years :hubba: [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 Come on, it really is much easier... Very hard to accomplish in the first world, unless he is very rich and/or famous or very good looking. I'd have to agree. In some respects, it's easier to find a 'better' (i.e. younger, better looking) girlfriend in Thailand than Joe Western could usually get in the back home. Many (though by no means most) Thai women view Thai men as unmarriagable (sp?), and this cuts across all classes as far as I can tell. My father is married to a Thai from a very high social class. She told me if she had not married a farang, she would have never married. And on the other end of the social spectrum, the bar girls telling you 'thai man no good' are of course telling you what you want to hear, but it is also indicative of a very real perception, and I've seen first hand where the perception comes from. For many reasons (financial stability, perception of treating women better, romaticizing the foreign, etc.) farang are perceived by a lot a Thai women as more suitable mates. Part of it is just a strong social pressure to marry someone of higher social status, and farang tend to have better paying jobs, more education, etc. There are large numbers highly educated women and women with their own businesses spending their entire lives single. And of course age difference is much less of a factor in Thailand - that's a big plus in getting younger women. That said, of course your milage will vary on how successful you are as an individual are. (There are however lots of Thai women that are not 'working', but are none the less just looking for a meal ticket...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 [color:"blue"] (There are however lots of Thai women that are not 'working', but are none the less just looking for a meal ticket...) [/color] Think you find those everywhere in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 Says Jazz: I'm here to tell you that what you're preaching ain't easy as it sounds ... it's a frustrating and tough work ... Just like in a real life P.S. I think I'll get started on your program soon ... and will report back after few more years :hubba: [/color] a lot of it depends on what expectations one has. how many times do farang here talk about getting "girlfriends" half their age here, bragging about that girls here like the security an older farang might give them. well, he does give that to them, but in many cases girls want a bit more than just security, and they get that somewhere else. of course i am not saying that this has to happen, but people should start understanding that girls in this country and back in the west are not that different. it is just economical pressure which does force girls from here which most of their western counterparts do not need to do. also, people are so often getting here in a relationship without considering the cultural difficulties, how much of adaptation work is to be done there. frustrating and tough, well yeah, that is part of adapting to another culture, but there are nice parts as well. it's definately not boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 It may be easier to have a GF, but in the end, marriage is about love (or should be) and I think fair to warn Marty that a lot of farang/thai marriage may well go well, but are often based on a financial (often unspoken) arrangement. Personally, I think one needs experience to understand all this in a thai setting. Therefore, to go there with the explicit desire to find a wife is a bit like putting the cart before the bull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 Fly, Actually I am. Unfortunately or fortunately, whoever controls the purse strings usually controls the direction of the relationship. That is why i am an advocate that the two people come from similar backgrounds so you get more equality and fairer exchange in the relationship... Worldwalker, It still amazes me that there are so many attractive but still available women around here. Maybe it is a reflection of the lack of available suitors for the women here (at least in their minds). You put these women in america and all would have bfs in no time (if looking). There is such a shortage of attractive women there. The falangs that come here for the most part are not high powered, good-looking, studley guys (in comparison to what i face back home) so just from a falang angle, the competition is basically non-competitive given the availability numbers. It is all about supply and demand. LOS and USA are opposites when to comes to good looking females and attractive males (defined as financial resources, education, career potential, looks, etc). Just think about it from how many good-looking females back home do you know without bfs vs how many attractive males you know who don't have gfs.... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 Think about what might happen after you do get a girl friend. Will she move back to your country? That may mean marriage. Are you willing to tie the knot? If the relationship terminates, you may have put everything (financially)l into the relationship where she may have contributed nothing. In some areas, she receive half. Sound fair? What happens if she does not like the cold weather? Willing to move back to Thailand? Do you think you can spend a week in her village? Can you handle her relatives? My advice is to not seek out a woman for a girl friend. Play the field. Learn the culture and customs. After a few years, then you might want to look for a girl friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 There is such a shortage of attractive women there. ------------------------ not really, I can only speak of Paris or San Francisco, but no problem there and here. The problem is, we are starting to talk about how the woman is attractive, which again is not the right criteria to go about finding a wife. Frankly, i think it is easier to have dates, then A, or many Gfs in LOS, but find a wife, ie. one's other half, is an altogether different matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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