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Glitches, Implosions & Meltdowns- Notes from LOS 1

zanemay

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Glitches, Implosions and Meltdowns - Notes from LOS Part 1

 

I Don?t Know Why?.

 

I came on this scene on the Beach Road just after 2:00 AM, which is still closing time Pattaya. I only saw the aftermath. A 40-something farang on the sidewalk holding his knees and lower legs and crying. A very angry motorbike taxi guy putting away a piece of lumber ? what in America is called a ?2 by 4? ? which he had taken from where a beach vendor stores their things overnight. The taxi guy got on his bike, a girl jumped on the back, and they calmly left. About 20 girls gathered around the farang and two tried to help him walk. He could not use one leg at all and he looked to be in extreme pain. He was totally defeated. I asked someone what had happened, ?Thai and farang boxing.? ?Why?? ?No pay.? ?Why?? ?Don?t know.?

 

The look on the taxi guy?s face was that look Thai people get when they are really angry. A look you never want to see. He didn?t care whether the farang lived, died or was crippled for life. He wasn?t worried about being arrested or losing his vest. He was angry, cool and brutal.

 

How a farang gets into such a situation I don?t know. Maybe he drank up all his money, or maybe there was a dispute over the fare and he was drunk, or maybe they were both drunk. You can go anywhere in Pattaya for 60 baht ($1.50) so this wasn?t about money. From the Thai guy?s side it was about loss of face and class resentment. I have no idea what a farang has to be thinking to get into a fight over a few baht. Maybe he thought he could win.

 

****

 

Doesn?t ANYBODY Speak English!?

 

Ah?this is so much fun: A program on Thai TV about a beautiful, young lady archer. She is trying to spread the word about archery and she describes all of the equipment and then demonstrates technique. A clinic by a truly lovely virgin sow (young lady.) At the end, when they are rolling the credits, they play a song in English. The lyric is about a guy who was getting all kinds of mixed messages and feelings from a girl, then finally realizes: ?I came to see, she fuckin? hates me... she fuckin? hates me.? A very nice sounding song too, and I almost don?t blame whoever selected it.

 

But this was a VERY wholesome program as would be another one called ?Kids Sports.? At the end of an episode of ?Kids Sports? a rap song was played with ?motherf..er, motherf..er, motherf..er?? ringing out loud and clear. Doesn?t anybody vet this stuff first AND don?t TV producers here know that American rap songs get really raunchy!? ?No? and ?No.? These people are really funny sometimes!

 

****

 

Stunned!!

 

But they?re not alone ? I was treated to such an amazing sight the other day by a farang couple. I was just about to pass the last building along the road before the Beach Road promenade. Emerging from around the corner was a stomach - a big, beautiful naked, tanned stomach. It was so perfect, it didn?t seem to need a human attached at all. It looked pregnant, in the shape of a bowling ball, with no loose fat anywhere. It seemed to be on its own, but was soon followed by a handsome, well-tanned fellow. Perhaps fifty years old, confident, well-off and obviously well-fed, the man seemed to be in excellent condition and managed the monstrosity well.

I took this in and was struggling to assimilate it when I was really whacked by something even more amazing?his wife emerged from around the corner. Oh My Buddha!! I watch the Fashion Channel and I am aware that sheer fabrics are in, but I have never seen anything like this! These were some tits ? not breasts, mind you ? these were thoroughly obscene, huge tits. Shapely for their size and not sagging nearly as much as they could be, but not looking artificial either. Not only was the wine-colored blouse low cut, it was absolutely sheer! With no bra this woman was ?showing? more than if she were topless. Everything was in view? and?well?looking good. So there they went, Mr. Perfect Stomach and Mrs. Obscene Tits. Owners of a sex show house in Germany I was thinking, or managers of an interactive porno site. I?m sure they must be in the sex business somewhere and doing very well.

 

These two laid me low. They were turning in the direction of the Police Box at the foot of Walking Street and I dearly wish I had had the presence of mind to turn around to see what transpired when she walked past the policemen, because she was certainly breaking the law. For my part, I was totally flummoxed and had all I could manage to not walk out into the traffic. I didn?t have the presence of mind to turn around.

 

****

 

She Won?t Run Away

 

The other day I saw big, tall, fat guy with a big, bushy beard walking along Beach Rd. He was a slob in every way, even brushing the beard backwards against the grain to make it stick out. (Why!!?) Certainly there are many ways to groom a beard and I think a lot of times they are interesting, masculine and handsome. But it pays be a bit careful with a beard in LOS ? the girls basically don?t like them. Anyway, he was walking along the beach looking like a big, fat, confused slob.

 

An hour later I passed him again, walking in the opposite direction, hand-in-hand with one of those Beach Rd. denizens ? this one a grizzled, 50ish gargoyle who thinks dressing like a 20 year old makes her look sexy, when it actually makes her look like an extremely unkind caricature. Nonetheless, there she was, hand in hand, being dragged along by the slob, not looking very happy about the pairing.

 

I can understand why girls cling to guys they pick up ? they?re holding onto the money. But what could anyone get out of holding her hand? In this case, he was so awkward, it looked like he had her in custody. He was a step ahead, hand just above waist level, pulling, looking obsessed. Maybe he wasn?t sure the old girl understood the agreement or wasn?t satisfied with it and was waiting to slip away. But I see this old bird every day. She gets almost no action, so believe me, she wasn?t going anywhere.

 

Personally, I have the most respect for guys who are discreet and don?t touch Thai women in public. The lady that you pick up?she wants the money. You don?t have to drag her to your swamp, Shrek.

 

****

 

Take No Prisoners

 

This is a rather extreme case of a pretty familiar story.

 

Sometime around Songkran I was sitting on a bench at the beach. There was a couple picnicking on a mat on the ground and after awhile I recognized the girl as an old friend. Actually, she is the sister of a long-time friend that I sometimes sleep with. She had changed her look, so it took me awhile to realize it was her. Also she was acting strangely. She would only look at me fleetingly and definitely would not speak at all. I recognized the situation and didn?t speak either. She had a farang boyfriend that she didn?t want to rile. This is normal enough, some guys are protective and/or jealous. Okay.

 

When I next talked to my old friend she told me that her sister sent her apologies, but her boyfriend is very jealous and she couldn?t say hello to me. Okay, fine. A few days later, my friend tells me that she doesn?t have a bedroom anymore. (Mai mi hong nawn.) The boyfriend has moved into the room she shares with her sister and she?s had to move in with her own son in Naklua. Why would he move into a crappy Thai room, I asked. He is worried she will go off and have fun on her own! (Kao gleua nong nii thii-aow.)

 

Now Mr. Farang, if you are a member of this board and reading this, please understand that (1) I was drawing the information out of my friend and (2) she didn?t see anything particularly wrong with the situation. It only seemed odd to me. She told me that you had visited the family home, been very generous and you are a good man. To all that I say, ?Uh-huh! But??

 

I think a lot of guys put themselves in similar positions. They extend their generosity and commitment to the point that they become very vulnerable to a big hurt. To protect themselves, they sit on their girlfriend. When they are in LOS they expect the gf to go everywhere with them (which bores the sh..t out of the girl.) When they go home, they try to exert their control from half way around the world. Before they leave they extract some ridiculous commitments which boil down to ?I own you.? Then they need to know if she is keeping her word (extracted under duress of being cut off) Does she still love him, is she living in the village, is she sleeping alone? Can you imagine how uneasy these guys feel worrying about such things!?

 

What?s wrong with this? First, it?s wrong to try to control another person. They should live their life as freely as you do. Secondly, the chances of getting real control over a Thai woman are very slim. Oh yeah, you can go to her village, verify a land-line telephone and then phone her on it at all hours. That might work or it might not. Or you can hire someone to spy on her ? someone on this board was offering that service at one point. But if you do any of that, aren?t you being an over-the-top dumb ass?

 

I believe most veterans have lightened up on the whole thing ? the relationships, the gifts, the sending the money. Just relax. I can tell you my life has been a lot easier since I just backed off on the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. If I can get a little love, great. If I can get a little one-sided monogamy from a girl, great. But I don?t try to verify or control anything. Live and let live. You may be able to buy tolerance of your weird behavior, you CANNOT BUY LOVE. Maybe a good and real love will come along for you, but it?s not going to happen because you took all kinds of strange and desperate measures to make it happen.

 

I have never sent a penny from home and I have never been happier than I am now. I have more quality lady friends and I have never been better taken care of. I especially love one Thai woman, but I?m not carried away. I am as realistic as this country woman. I have told her I would be hurt if she saw another man ? she?s never been anywhere near another farang. But I?m not going to try to put a noose around her neck ? she?s free to do as she likes.

 

Zane May

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