Difficulties adapting to Life with a Thai Chid

[sinsin2]

Hi, check this out.

Not PC or pleasant.

Have some links if interesed.

 

CHILDREN IQ tests reflect regional divide

 

 

 

Published on Jan 11, 2002

 

 

 

A national survey of school children's intelligence shows a wide regional gap, with children in the North scoring an average of nearly nine points less than their Bangkok peers on intelligence quotient (IQ) tests.

 

The National Health Examination Survey team yesterday released a report that said a large number of school children have slightly low IQs. Although the average IQ of Thai school children is 91.96 points - at the low end of the standard range of 90 to 110 - 44 per cent of those tested had IQs that were less than 90 points (see table).

 

At 87.88 points, children in the North had the lowest average. In Bangkok the average was 96.54.

 

Researcher Dr Nitchya Reungra-chakanont, from Ramathibodi Hos-pital, said her team could not specify the reasons for the wide gap.

 

Because it was done on a large scale the research was rough, Nitchya said.

 

Moreover, the researchers relied solely on the children's ability to answer IQ questionnaires and did not measure other skills, she said. The survey was conducted in 1997 as part of the Public Health Ministry's Prospective Cohort Study of Thai Children. About 4,000 children in 33 provinces were given IQ tests. The survey will be conducted again this year.

 

The average IQ of children in Bangkok, municipal areas and the South fell within the standard range, the survey found. On average, girls had a slightly higher IQ than boys, it found.

 

The survey also found that 8.5 per cent of the children it tested were mentally retarded. Most of them were in the North, where 16.4 per cent of the children surveyed were classified as mentally retarded. Only 2.5 per cent of those tested in Bangkok were mentally retarded.

 

Doctor Chanpen Chooprapa-wan, director of the programme, said numerous factors influence IQ, including nutrition, family income and the environment.

 

"Cream of the crop students who have won many global awards are just less than 1 per cent of all children in the country. Having genius children is good for the country, but we should not only be proud of them and ignore the others who are almost below the standard line," Chanpen said.

 

The government should pay more attention to children's development, particularly in remote areas, she said.

 

Children will get smarter if society supports them, she said.

 

Thai children were also found to be too small and too short.

 

On average, boys' weigh about one to five kilograms less than they should and girls about 1-3kg less than standard. Boys are about one to two centimetres shorter than the standard while girls fall short by about two to four centimetres.

 

Nutrition is a critical problem for the country's school children. About 20 per cent of them lack sufficient amounts of iron, a mineral crucial for brain development, the survey found.

 

Pennapa Hongthong,

 

Sirinart Sirisunthorn

 

THE NATION

[check_bin_krap]

He is bound to miss Thailand a lot. Try to be accomodating. He has only been there since April, no brothers or sisters with him... Put yourself in his situation. New country, new language.

 

Be patient TB! Rome isn't built in one day! One thing you should do, is to get your wife aboard and show consistent behaviour towards him. Use time, discuss it with her and never let him think that you 2 disagree.

 

Disregard whatever "intelligence" bullshit is being posted here. I get mad when I read such stuff, from people who know nothing about the difficulties it involves being uprooted and getting to a new country, language and culture.

 

Cheers!

[Guest]

My advice: PATIENCE!

 

TB, try looking at the situation through his young eyes.

 

He's been placed in a totally new environment at a very sensitive age. I suspect he cops a bit of bullying at school. Thus he doesn't want to mingle and is more comfortable with his Thai mate.

 

Try to build his confidence, not destroy it.

 

What's he good at?

 

Running?

Swimming?

Marbles?

 

Whatever, encourage it.

 

Your wife runs a Thai restaurant if I recall.

Put on a party for his classmates and their parents at your house, the local park or wherever and share your concerns with the parents.

 

You may be surprised how they rally behind you.

 

The kid needs some stability, not the threat of being sent back to Thailand whenever he doesn't fit into your lifestyle plan.

 

Good luck.

[JJsushi]

Sounds to me based off of what you wrote, that the kid does not understand you are the authority in the house. Children are not stupid in general. They know what they can and cannot get away with.

 

I would evaluate your past encounters to see if there was mixed signals coming from you and the wife about who really is in charge. I would look to see if you have demonstrated your authority properly when the situation called for it. You have to make the kid understand that when you make a decision he cannot challenge or alter it. Your will has to be dominant. You don't negotiate with or bribe children TB, you make them understand as I like to put it that you are a "kind and benevolent dictator who you do not want to piss off". There is no democracy in your household.

 

You have to institute things like protocols and procedures ofinteraction in the household. You have to give him chores. Examples are adressing you in a certain respectful way so that it is clear that you are not his "buddy". Politeness must be used at all times, hands must be washed before eating or going into a refregerator. Bedtime is a given everynight unless you grant him a special extension to stay up later. Money or an allowance is earned and not given. All chores and homework must be completed before privileges are allowed such as going to a friends house , playing video games, watching television. He has to make a contribution to the family in some manner so that he does not feel like an outsider or he expects to be given what he wants, when he wants it. He needs to understand his role in the family unit and where he stands on the hierarchal ladder. Chores are a good way for kids to understand authority and responsibility.

 

The mother cannot change a decision you have told him directly(this avoids the usurping of authority), if he goes behind your back to manipulate the mother then he must be punished with more chores or retraction of privileges. He should not have his own television or computer im his room as this will allow him to retreat from the family into his own world, he should be able to do these things under the observation of the parents.

 

I think it must also be established to your wife that you are her husband and he is the child. There should never be any concept that there is a competition for her attention or love. Mother and wife are 2 distinct roles so the kid should not be confused about it and the wife should understand that there should never be a choice to make when it comes to the two of you. You are a family and the kid is just as much your responsibility as hers; there should be no division. After all you are the one providing him with a better opportunity than he had in Thailand.

I used to take care of my relatives kids for a few weeks at a time and I never had a problem with them because I am quick to realize when they are testing my authority or placing me in a compromising situation. I am swift and just with punishment(making sure to inform them why they are being punished) but also generous with praise and rewards.

[JJsushi]

At the age of 12 or in your estimation the mentality of a 10yr oldthe kid should start having some idea of what he wants to be in life(astronaut, doctor, fireman , policeman). Find out who his heroes are and why. Find out what he dreams about and his interests so maybe you can help him to develop a hobby. kids love hobbies and if encouraged properly can really acceleate their learningnad the establishment of goals and self confidence. When I say hobbies it is along the lines of building and creating, using the imagination; not playing X-box all afternoon, unless it leads him into wanting to program hi own video games.

 

Make sure he plays sports as that is the best confidence builder and vehicle for teamwork IMO.

 

Don't wait for him to come to you with ideas on sports and hobbies, just start enrolling him into stuff until something clicks and he tells you if he likes it or not and more importantly why.

[check_bin_krap]

You are right on the mark JJ. I shoved my eldest step son into footie practise here in Norway, before he even could speak one word Norwegian.

 

I knew he liked it and was good at it. It went well, he was accepted for his abilities and he never looked back... Same age as TB's kid when he came here from Thailand.

 

Cheers!

[MrX]

Hi TB

 

didnt you post something at the end of june about how his english wasnt ok and how he couldnt do his homework?

 

But in August you write: "His English has got a little better (as far as homework) goes...but will not speak much at home if at all..after much prompting from me.

 

I give extra homework every night..he does this and all ok."

 

"All OK" is what I see.....Come on give the little guy a break..he is pleasing you already and you dont seem to see it! IMHO of course

[gummigut]

Think JJsushi has it right on this one.

 

It will also take a real heart to heart with the wife that she can't coddle him. The kid has to learn to function on his own. Dressing the kid? You mention food, does everyone eat dinner together with the TV off? That's a great "only" English time.

 

I think it was wrong for you to give in to the child about going into town when he started crying. That only reinforces his belief that is what he has to do to get things his way and he WILL not change or deviate from this belief unless forced too.

 

Case in point is that I taught a 9-year old brat. She tried to use tears to get her mother to change teachers (from me to another). The mistake was to try and do it in front of me. The first thing I told her on the first day that lying and cheating was not going to help her with me. I had her repeat this in front of her mother and had her recant the lies she told her mother in Thai (because she didn't know that I understood enough Thai to understand what she told her mother, hehe). In any event, she must have cried after she left the school because the mother had me replaced with another teacher (who did the work for the child and the mother was told the child did the work - what a load of crap).

 

In any event, a child of 12 should know by now that crying doesn't get you anywhere in life except as a good release of emotion. It's a lesson he needs to learn the sooner the better if he's ever to become a man.

 

<<burp>>

[Zaad]

Many good points have been mentioned already.

 

TB,

He's 12 but seems to behave like a kid half his age who has no discipline (not uncommon in Thailand) and tries to get (or get away) with anything he wants or doesn't want by playing his game; crying.

Doesn't surprise me if he was raised by his grannies, probably no physical punishment.

 

Usually such kids need some ass whooping, but he's 12, bit too old maybe, so perhaps a few firm holds and grabs to get your point accross. And most importantly do NOT give him what he wants when he cries, let him cry a river, but don't give in or you'll experience this as long as he's in your house.

May not go smoothly the first few times, but the little bastard will get used to that

 

P.S. He's 12 goddamnit, I would personally start to play the psychological game with him. Never seen this in Thailand though. Tell him crying is for little girls and he needs to be and behave like a man. Seeing a 12 year old makes you sick etc. It really is a joke TB.

[Torneyboy]

Hi

 

Good idea ..we could do that.

Agree need to build some confidence as well...thanks

 

CBK

 

Thanks