Guest Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 real life examples? how about nearly 11 years with the missus? what can i say about your relationship, i don't know you both, i can only go by what you post here. and from what you have said that doesn't sound too good on both sides. what do you mean with "problems with the locals"? one thing that you will have to accept is that you girlfriend is a "local" and nothing will change that fact. learn from her how to get along with the locals. you might get better along with her as well. problems with you mom in law? well, sort that out fast. as you are in thai territory it is to you to do that first step, if you don't want constant attempts to destroy your relationship. one day they will very possibly successful. ask your girlfriend how to do that best. she is "childish" and "lazy". oh well...what can i say? is she a partygirl who just enjoys to have a fling, and you interpret far more into the relationship than there is? and what do you expect? most 20 year olds appear childish to an old fart of 35. they have a right to be that, that is part of the fun of being 20. and there is nothing you can do about that, or even should. you cannot expect to have a 20 year old girlie to have the sense of responsibility of a fully grown up. there is nothing more i can say, as long as i don't get her side of the story, and i am sure she has one that differs a bit from yours. either she has her own communication problems with you as well, or, she is just not as much in love with you than you imagine, or than she makes you believe. and that is something for you to find out. and, one more question, how well do you speak thai? if not that well, then your problems are a very good reason to start learning thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 [color:"red"]Ehh, my receipie is silly jokes - tickeling, doing house work now and then and trying to change socks and underwear regulary. [/color] Serves you right! Back to the subject. Why is it when a man does not get the woman to do what he wants, he says, the woman is immature!!?? I promise you some men cannot even spell "immature" correctly). Not that some women don't deserve to be called so! Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 [color:"red"] what about a partnership where both sides recognise and accept the other's expertise in particular fields, slowly grow together by learning from each other? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sounds good in theory, but how about real-life examples? [/color] It does happen with a few couples. I call that complementing and supplementing each other have and not-have qualities. However, it takes time and faith in each other to find out what those qualities are, IMO. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Sounds good in theory, but how about real-life examples? What do you mean "in theory"? IMO "a partnership where both sides recognise and accept the other's expertise in particular fields, slowly grow together by learning from each other" (Fly's words) is how any healthy marriage or relationship would blossom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 Exactly, that's what we are doing, but it takes time and energy and prudence, conflict solving, flexibility etc. It's a challenge and the challenge is the fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 Great to hear thalenoi, that's exactly what I believe to be the key to success as well, in any relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 >>"a partnership where both sides recognise and accept the other's expertise in particular fields, slowly grow together by learning from each other" (Fly's words) is how any healthy marriage or relationship would blossom. < There are many ways to crack a nut. The above is only one. How about putting a girl in your harem? Or leaving the girl in the kitchen for life, never to read or write. How about a situation where the man dominates the wife, she takes pride in doing what her husband tells her. Differing ideas out there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pe7e Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 That's not a relationship, it's employment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 Pe7e: its also the definition of marriage for endless millions past and present. Not my preferred method tho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 8, 2004 Report Share Posted November 8, 2004 [color:"red"]How about a situation where the man dominates the wife, she takes pride in doing what her husband tells her. [/color] I have a Japanese born GF, who just retired GS-13 (was making $78,000) who has been married to a guy (Retired Social worker making $56,000 who has been married 36 years, who is very proud being, in her words "obedient wife". This is the loveliest people I have ever met and each respects each other. I do listens to Hubby 75% of the time, I respect his opinions, unless I really have to contradict him, I normally go along with what he suggests. On the other hand, I seem to get away with just about anything IMO, the problem occurs when one partner wants to "control" another just for the sake of controlling. Why would a loving couple who loves and respects each other want to control? I will never understand. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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