MaakSiDa Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 I messed up my relationship with my girlfriend, but I still love her... What is a good way to 'fix the relationship'? Who has good ideas as for making your "ex" smile again and talk/meet with you?? Some details, as they may be significant: she is 20, a college student and very childish still. She is my junior by 15 years. We've had a couple of arguments, so she left me. She has her own room now, but may be forced to move to her parents' house in another town very soon. (Her mother doesn't like me.) So, I am very afraid of losing her!! I called her yesterday, convincing her to come to my room. She did, arrived and hugged me while crying. (Does that mean, that she still loves me?) As she was holding her mobile tight in her hand, I innocently asked her whether she wanted to hug me or her damn phone (rather than putting it on a nearby table). Hearing this she got real angry and said 'the phone', and "I love my mom...", and left me!! What did I do?? Did I say something stupid? Do we guys have to share our fiancee's affection nowadays with the mobile phones? I think, that she's quite afraid of me now and angry... (How long for Thai people to forget and forgive?) I'd be happy, if I had a good Thai friend to talk with her, but the only person that comes to my mind (a former student) just went to Europe for six months... What makes the situation much more complicated, I think, is that I told her several times 'that our relationship is over', if she leaves me again (without meaning it), so she's upset about this too... What can I do to get my girl back? Any similar experiences by other members?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 I innocently asked her whether she wanted to hug me or her damn phone ------------------------ girl101: at the conjecture you are talking about, there is no innocent talk. Still, this is hardly what will break the RS definitely. Just a general take, IMO/IME of course: if she still has feelings for you, you will hear from her again. You can even call her, but if you can, try to be casual, enquiring about her, maybe say you "understood now" (what, does not matter), say yes to everything she says (note: says, not asks), invite her for a "no talking about it" outing or dinner. Be patient, soft-spoken, try not to be smart like that cell remark, it drives them madder than anything else. And flowers.... Never under-estimate flowers (actually, i shouda started with that, Jasmine will tell you). Of course, it all depends what happened between you, lovers quarrel or something concretely dividing the 2 of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Thais are sensitive. Add social, religious, culture differences, we feel we are left out in the cold, which in many cases is true. Find out why her mother does not like you. Become more attuned to the culture. Where is she from? What is her parents background? What is she studying? Your background? Live in Thailand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaakSiDa Posted November 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 pattaya127 said:I innocently asked her whether she wanted to hug me or her damn phone ------------------------ girl101: at the conjecture you are talking about, there is no innocent talk. Still, this is hardly what will break the RS definitely. Just a general take, IMO/IME of course: if she still has feelings for you, you will hear from her again. You can even call her, but if you can, try to be casual, enquiring about her, maybe say you "understood now" (what, does not matter), say yes to everything she says (note: says, not asks), invite her for a "no talking about it" outing or dinner. Be patient, soft-spoken, try not to be smart like that cell remark, it drives them madder than anything else. And flowers.... Never under-estimate flowers (actually, i shouda started with that, Jasmine will tell you). Of course, it all depends what happened between you, lovers quarrel or something concretely dividing the 2 of you. Thank you so much for the good advice! I guess, that I'll give her a call again, talking just 'yes and amen', rather than asking questions. It's true, she complained that I want to 'control her'... (Maybe I'll have to be prepared to be controlled by her if it works out well, as a sacrifice for not losing her...) But I didn't know that Thai women actually like flowers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 But I didn't know that Thai women actually like flowers... They do. Women are women. Make up, but only if you really want to. needs to work from both sides. Good luck. BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaakSiDa Posted November 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Find out why her mother does not like you. Become more attuned to the culture. Where is she from? What is her parents background? What is she studying? Your background? Live in Thailand? Well, her mother doesn't like me, because she thinks that I'll hurt her daughter. (Which I never did. Only verbal confrontation...) Her parents are teachers and p/t farmers (from the South), who are highly in debt due to failed investments; live 35 kms. away... My fiancee's dad doesn't dislike me, but the mother is the boss in the family! Also, her mom doesn't want my fiancee to live together with me, as we are not married. My fiancee: 20, very childish, somewhat lazy (her dad does all the housework at home!), studies Human Resources (because her parents want her to)... I am living in Thailand since 2.5 years, am a teacher too, but my private contacts to the local people aren't very good. I have to plan many things in order to live in Thailand, but my g/f never tells me when she comes "home"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 [color:"red"] Also, her mom doesn't want my fiancee to live together with me, as we are not married [/color] I cannot blame her for that. My mother would kill me!! There are certain protocols (I think you know since you have been there 2.5 years. I won't live with someone without a marriage either. You don't get to drive a car off a lot without commitment, so a woman is more than a car, why no commitment? :: Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 MSD, O.k. dude...Take this from one who knows...run now! you will drive yourself nuts trying to win her back, it will become an all to consuming passion, more inportant to win her, then to actually have her back, trust me, I know about this crap, as I suffer from it myself. Yes, you can try flowers, candy, sweet talk, and even marry her if you are willing to commit (could be the root problem here?) but if that all fails, in the end, her antics and tantrums will controll you, and you will come to resent her for it, BIG TIME! in the end, you will go crazy, and she will again leave you, and the cycle will repaet, been here, done this, got the t shirt...of course, up to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 MaakSiDa said: My fiancee: 20, very childish, somewhat lazy (her dad does all the housework at home!), studies Human Resources (because her parents want her to)... I am living in Thailand since 2.5 years, am a teacher too, but my private contacts to the local people aren't very good. I have to plan many things in order to live in Thailand, but my g/f never tells me when she comes "home"... bad relationship with mother in law. private contacts with locals not good. childish and lazy girlfriend, nearly half your age, who never tells you when she comes home. hmmm... sounds like a marriage made in heaven. just perfect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 You don't fix it if it is broken, you go and get a new one. Seriously, think about it she is a 20yr old Thai girl, with no life experience. I don't know how many 20yr old Thai chicks you have messed with outside of the bar scene but IME they all seem a bit childish and have the mentalities of 16 yr old American chicks. Just a little too damn silly and very immature. And they don't haveany idea on how to truly please a man aside from the physical. 20 yr old girls IMO are only good for fun and partying. Serious relationships would totally be out of the question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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