Tbear's Second Newbie Trip: Conclusion

[tbear31]

Conclusion

Did I enjoy this trip? Definitely beats staying home. I actually accomplished everything that I had on my list (Got 3 shirts and a pair of pants), and as usual, so much more. At first I could have done without the drama that I experienced on this trip, but when I think back to it, I guess it’s one of the things that I come to LOS for. Where else would I have a naked girl in the shower, and another girl knocking on my door? Where else could I have a guaranteed threesome, and all it would take is for me to get up and take a shower? Where else can I flatly deny 3 strippers from the joy of having sex with me?

I haven’t yet decided what to do about the wife. On one hand, I can simply stay in BKK for my next trip, and find joy in the Nana Plaza, Eden, and the massage parlors. I can visit Soi Cowboy for the first time, and Patpong. Or I can sneak into Pattaya, and never go within 5 blocks of the wife’s bar.

Oh yes, I will return.

On the other hand, I sometimes have these crazy daydreams. I’m riding up into the Thailand countryside, in a Mercedes Benz with a heroin crazed driver. I’m curiously dressed in an all white suit (custom tailored, of course). I see the wife, leaning over in a rice field, a sickly looking water buffalo by her side. As I get out of the car, she peers up at me, and tosses her wide brimmed sun hat across the fields. I wade through the rice field and lift her up into my arms. The driver tosses his pipe aside, and pops in a tape. “Up Where We Belong” plays through the car speakers, and the other farmers (did I mention them?) began to clap in unison. As I stuff her into the back seat of the car, and produce a plane ticket, and a US visa, the farmers cheer. All I can make out is “Falang Jai Dee!, Falang Jai Dee!” We ride off into the sunset.

Even as a newbie, I have already made some tragic mistakes since my return to the states. I gave the wife’s present to my mother. Baaad move. Now that the possibility of my parents seeing grandchildren while they’re still above ground has entered the picture, they too are pressing me to just settle down and get it over with. I have emailed them a picture of her. I have told a close friend about my last trip, and she thinks I should bring her back. I have actually visited a Thai wat (Nothing quite like lying to a monk about what you did on your trip to Thailand; I expect to come back as a flea in the afterlife!), I now have literature on where to get thai food, and how to get those sappy Thai soap operas fed directly into my home. Keep in mind gentlemen, I have only been back for 2 weeks!

This is the way I understand it, and it assumes that the wife is being truthful. She was married and had a kid. The guy was a jerk, and left her with a mouth to feed. Then, she was a victim of a scam, which caused her family to take out a huge loan (by their standards). Seeing that there was no way for her to pay back the money, she put her ass up for sale in Pattaya. She is doing this to pay off the loan, and hopefully save enough money to open up a shop back home. When I left her, she was heading back home, and she probably wasn’t going to come back to Pattaya.

Now she never asks me for money, but I can’t help but think that I can help her life out. I’m not crazy, and I really don’t think that I will marry her any time soon, and probably not at all, but there is that nagging thing in the back of my head that says that if I just sent her a couple of hundred bucks a month, she might never have to work in Pattaya again. Maybe it would put her on her feet enough so that she would have a chance at opening that shop, or giving her child a chance for a better life. It wouldn’t have to be forever, and I could skip a few meals, smoke a little less and rent a movie instead of living it up on the town (Partying in the US doesn’t appeal to me anymore). And honestly, I think that I would feel great in the knowledge that I helped her out.

You might say that I would just be pissing away money, and maybe you’re right. But let me propose this: Even if each year I held some sort of bargirl lottery, where the winner gets $1000 US dollars, isn’t there the chance that, every now and then, one of the girls that really didn’t want to be there would be able to go back home? I’m not talking about the tattooed, cell phone carrying, pierced, hard core professionals. I’m talking about the 18-22 year old girls that only there so that their kid(s) can eat. The similarities to the US welfare system come to mind. Maybe since I believe in welfare, I believe that sometimes people just need a break. I’m joking about the lottery, but I know understand why we keep reading posts about people sending money to the girls.

I feel like I’m kind of rambling now, but I just wanted to let people know what I was thinking, and one of the side effects of a trip to LOS. I guess my lesson from this trip, to all the fellow newbies out there, is that you can THINK that love isn’t a part of the experience, but it is. These girls are really sweet, and it doesn’t take too many encounters to find one with a story that will touch you. I never, never, NEVER, thought that love would play any type of role in this trip, but it snuck up on my like a ninja burglar. I was bitten by the love bug, that bastard Cupid scored a bullseye, and for a few hours in Pattaya, I felt all tingly inside.

 

Good night

T

[Guest]

Only your second trip and you've sussed out what Thailand is really all about!

Good on yer mate!

Welcome to the club.

[shygye]

Would you sponsor the 'wife' even if she remained working at the bar? I know of a few sponsored girls. Some leave the bar. Some still work at the bar but do not go with customers. Others are looking for additional sponsors.

[JJsushi]

Hey T,

I ponder the send a stipend concept myself, if u want to sponsor a girl and it would make u feel good then by all means do it. The only problem I envision with that is what if u meet a girl that u like better on ur next trip are u going to drop the financing for the old chick(who may have left the bar scene based on ur financial support) for the new one? That could mess u up inside especially if u are a soft-hearted guy.

Bottom line is do what makes u happy within reason cause life is too short.

[Steve]

Tbear31,

Enjoyed it. Man, you got it bad. No need to repeat the falang/BG relationship stories you've read on here. You're well aware of them. When you think its love, reason and logic, don't matter as much anyway.

I'm glad you are finding emotions you never thought you'd have. That's a good thing. Where it takes you? Who knows. I really, truly, wish whatever you decide, all works out for you.

The rest of you on this board. Don't start with this 'you're crazy to consider...' posts. He's read the stories. He knows.

Keep us posted, if for nothing else, to educate the rest of us on how things like this can play out.

[Guest]

Tbear,

The Dream Sequence was a classic! Thank you for your insightful reports...once again they transported me overseas to a place I hope to visit for the first time.

Somehow, I have a feeling I could easily sucuumb to the romantic traps of Bangkok. At least your reports gave me "food for thoughts".

[tbear31]

jjshushi,

You have a good point. Another possibility is if you cut off the funds if the girl finds a Thai boyfriend. Does she only get paid if she stays celebate, and I don't find another, more deserving, girl?

It's also likely that if I just stayed away from her for my next trip, I would find someone just as sweet, young, and in a bad way financially. Each trip I could be adding to the list of dependants on my tax returns (How funny would that be to have a Thai Bargirl box on the 1040EZ form!). If I don't have the heart to tell one of these girls to leave me alone for 4 hours, what are the odds that I'm going cut off funds and force her to work in the bars again!

Chocalate,

Thanks for the backup. I do have it bad, but it's getting a little better each day. This weekend, I hope to be able to put the pictures away, and unpack the clothes that she folded up for me.... baby steps. The fantasy is strong when you first return, but it slowly starts to fade.

T

[Guest]

Excellent reading, my friend. Absolutely top notch.

It's obviouls you don't need any advice, but here is my approach to some of the things you mentioned.

First of all, when a bar-girl accuses me of infidelity, it just makes me laugh. I used to get that feeling of guilt - and that's what they're counting on - but not any more. For chrissake, why the hell do we go to Pattaya? To look at the filty beach? To go to Mini-Siam? To feel guilty about cheating on a prostitute?

The Englishmen was right. It's not that they are cold and calculating, but that's the way it is. She may care for you but that won't stop her from going short-time with another man given an opportunity. And she would for you to spend all of your time with her and all of your money on her. Again, this sounds a lot harsher than it is, but it's true. And it doesn't mean she doesn't care for you.

The day I arrive to Pattaya, I always buy a big bottle of Citra (lotion favored by BGs) and 4-5 sealed toothbrushes which I proudly display in the bathroom. That way there is no doubt in any girl's mind. If I get asked, I tell them the truth. Yes, last night I have lady.

The only time I lie (and it's a while lie, to keep everyone from losing face) is when they ask if I come to their bar tonight. I usually tell them that I have to work on a computer all night. Which is such an obvious lie that they don't even try to confront me.

In re sending money, some of us have softer hearts than others. I always think it's funny when I hear it from others, but every time I'm coming back from Thailand I'm having the same thoughts as you. Once I presented this idea to a friend (who's never been to Thailand). He considered it carefully for a few seconds and he said, "I think there are a few million other poor girls in Thailand. Many of which are poorer and more deserving than your girl. Are you going to send them money too?"

Thanks again for a good read.

[Guest]

TBear,

Enjoyed reading the report about your 2nd trip. Very compelling reading for me b/c I've been once and was smitten, interesting to see how much more complex your experience has become. My first thought is you should figure out how to move to LOS, not for the girl, but because it seems like it's where you want to be right now.

I don't want to overstate this, is Thailand is the place you've decided to challenge yourself or learn what is really important to you? My guess is you've already figured out that what's important isn't having a lot of sex with a lot of different bar girls.

Good luck!

[smittyjp]

Very nice read. I believe it happens to all of us but in differing degrees. Totally blindsided when it happened to me cause I'm usually a calloused motherfucker when it comes to bitches/hos. Give it some time and if you still feel the same then go for it, to me at least, it's better than not knowing.

Smitty